Enduronman
12-19-2013, 06:32 PM
Dear AF friends, member, lurkers, bro's....
Obviously I have some "physical limitations" now. That's what my Government calls them at least and are gauged by severity of course.
Sometimes, I wish I was missing a limb or two, so this long drawn out court (stall) would be over with at the hearing..
It wasn't and it still isn't. I was ruled "Unfavorable" because of a clerical error in my medical records. A sentence, that was obviously, out of place.
It said (generally) that I was fine, in great health, perfectly fit, although I was laying on the floor looking like I had cerebral palsy.
That really isn't the point in this new thread however, it is because of the fact that "I got my ass kicked, by my car"....
This abnormal feeling, is very rare but I do get them when I try to go upstairs yet I try to avoid that to begin with.
I had always been able to figure out what was wrong, and fix whatever was wrong, with my own cars, trucks, anything. Not this time.
The problem requires laying on the ground, twisting my head and body, to view and find the issues under the dash in the wiring.
I couldn't even turn or contort my body, let alone my head because of this neck/spinal issue...My car is still without lights, and it will have to go to a mechanic..................(sigh).
This has been bothering me for at least a couple of hours. I have never had been beaten, by the malfunctions of a car.
It isn't the cost of the repairs, I have faith in the repair shop that is going to trace this bad wire, it is the "principal" of why it must now go there.
I was once very capable, very flexible, very able in making this repair and virtually any other one that these cars/trucks presented me.
Last time I felt like "this" was when I tried to take a chainsaw apart so that I could put the motor on my Son's scooter..couldn't even do that.
I don't feel depressed, I feel repressed..held back, denied, unapproved, incapable, somewhat like a failure and I don't live by nor use that word at all...
When I get like this, it then turns to anger of which I'm trying to maintain control over, because as of this minute I wish to go outside and flip that car over.
I also recall that I and one other used to be able to lift the back of small cars up, and scoot them over to lightly touching the one next to it,,.....
And wait until the people came out to get into their cars to head home,..we were lurkers too, just in a different way.
We would laugh at their expressions, looks, bewilderment, dismay...Like, Um..did I do this?......those were the days, not long ago..
Cheerful eludes me at the moment, even though I just tried to snap myself out of it above....didn't work, it made it even worse......
I'll be fine in a little bit, I'm sure...Gotta pull myself back up, just like I've had to 5000 times before. Their just all "unique" in some way..
Thinking of you all and your struggles too.
Enduronman :)
Obviously I have some "physical limitations" now. That's what my Government calls them at least and are gauged by severity of course.
Sometimes, I wish I was missing a limb or two, so this long drawn out court (stall) would be over with at the hearing..
It wasn't and it still isn't. I was ruled "Unfavorable" because of a clerical error in my medical records. A sentence, that was obviously, out of place.
It said (generally) that I was fine, in great health, perfectly fit, although I was laying on the floor looking like I had cerebral palsy.
That really isn't the point in this new thread however, it is because of the fact that "I got my ass kicked, by my car"....
This abnormal feeling, is very rare but I do get them when I try to go upstairs yet I try to avoid that to begin with.
I had always been able to figure out what was wrong, and fix whatever was wrong, with my own cars, trucks, anything. Not this time.
The problem requires laying on the ground, twisting my head and body, to view and find the issues under the dash in the wiring.
I couldn't even turn or contort my body, let alone my head because of this neck/spinal issue...My car is still without lights, and it will have to go to a mechanic..................(sigh).
This has been bothering me for at least a couple of hours. I have never had been beaten, by the malfunctions of a car.
It isn't the cost of the repairs, I have faith in the repair shop that is going to trace this bad wire, it is the "principal" of why it must now go there.
I was once very capable, very flexible, very able in making this repair and virtually any other one that these cars/trucks presented me.
Last time I felt like "this" was when I tried to take a chainsaw apart so that I could put the motor on my Son's scooter..couldn't even do that.
I don't feel depressed, I feel repressed..held back, denied, unapproved, incapable, somewhat like a failure and I don't live by nor use that word at all...
When I get like this, it then turns to anger of which I'm trying to maintain control over, because as of this minute I wish to go outside and flip that car over.
I also recall that I and one other used to be able to lift the back of small cars up, and scoot them over to lightly touching the one next to it,,.....
And wait until the people came out to get into their cars to head home,..we were lurkers too, just in a different way.
We would laugh at their expressions, looks, bewilderment, dismay...Like, Um..did I do this?......those were the days, not long ago..
Cheerful eludes me at the moment, even though I just tried to snap myself out of it above....didn't work, it made it even worse......
I'll be fine in a little bit, I'm sure...Gotta pull myself back up, just like I've had to 5000 times before. Their just all "unique" in some way..
Thinking of you all and your struggles too.
Enduronman :)