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worriedmummy85
12-17-2013, 10:24 AM
What's everyone doing for christmas? This is my favourite time of year but Xmas day is always stressful and the run up to Xmas for me

We take turns each year on who's family gets the morning and who's family gets the afternoon but it never works out because my boyfriends family always want the morning and they want to have an allocated amount of time incase my family get more it petty really but I seem to have this grudge against them as I am an only child when my dad died my mum woke up to no one and it was his families turn for the morning visit but I kindly asked if they would have the afternoon, they refused and said because his dad was on his own it wa only fair what they just didnt get was that yes his dad was on his own but had been for 8 years and my boyfriend also has a brother who goes to his dads first thing on a christmas morning but they wouldn't give it up nevermind I got over it but needless to say its always stressful

Is anyone's nice a relaxing?

Enduronman
12-17-2013, 10:35 AM
What's everyone doing for christmas? This is my favourite time of year but Xmas day is always stressful and the run up to Xmas for me

"they want to have an allocated amount of time incase my family get more it petty really but I seem to have this grudge against them as I am an only child"

WM!!

This year, just let it go...It hasn't changed in how many years, it isn't going too...and for obvious reasons, you find them to be "selfish" because of your Father's passing..

This year, go with the flow...disconnect this connection that you have made in regards to "his family" vs "your family" or it'll just be another stressful Christmas...

Got it???

Yes, mine will be relaxing but I also don't have youngsters anymore so I don't have to go over the river and through the woods, ..in a one horse open sleigh!! LOL!

Make it a great Christmas!

E-Man...:)

Chiddler
12-17-2013, 03:08 PM
What's everyone doing for christmas? This is my favourite time of year but Xmas day is always stressful and the run up to Xmas for me

We take turns each year on who's family gets the morning and who's family gets the afternoon but it never works out because my boyfriends family always want the morning and they want to have an allocated amount of time incase my family get more it petty really but I seem to have this grudge against them as I am an only child when my dad died my mum woke up to no one and it was his families turn for the morning visit but I kindly asked if they would have the afternoon, they refused and said because his dad was on his own it wa only fair what they just didnt get was that yes his dad was on his own but had been for 8 years and my boyfriend also has a brother who goes to his dads first thing on a christmas morning but they wouldn't give it up nevermind I got over it but needless to say its always stressful

Is anyone's nice a relaxing?

This seems almost TOO obvious, but have you tried inviting them ALL to your place instead? Put on a big champagne breakfast, make it spectacular.

worriedmummy85
12-17-2013, 05:11 PM
This seems almost TOO obvious, but have you tried inviting them ALL to your place instead? Put on a big champagne breakfast, make it spectacular.

I have tried this but because his dad has a false leg he doesn't leave the house so isn't very sociable my family are chatters and have tried on many occasions to have a conversation but he will cut it dead and sit in silence so for that reason my family have decided its not worth trying anymore so its just awkward having them all together

Lee Grant Irons
12-17-2013, 05:27 PM
I think Eman is right. YOu need to Let It Go, because it likely will not change, and it only causes you stress and makes them upset too.

So, in order to have an easier time letting it go, you have to replace it with something. Make the afternoon time with your family a special tradition filled with extra special things you do every year. Invent some new traditions that everyone enjoys. In short, OWN THE AFTERNOON. There is not really something more special about the morning than the afternoon, other than what your perspective makes it. So change your perspective and see things that are more special about the afternoon than about the morning.

jkb
12-17-2013, 05:35 PM
I agree with what the others say as per your situation, but I do understand fully the frustration over a matter whereby you feel like if they just weren't being so daft then we could ALL have a lovely Christmas together.
I am in similar situations, but as the others suggested it is likely things we need to let to of, and just enjoy what we have.

Enduronman
12-17-2013, 06:44 PM
"It is likely things we need to let to go of, and just enjoy what we have".

That's the spirit of Christmas. :)