Contemplating suicide

[mikecole114]

I'm so fed up with life
I'm so fe up of being like this
I'm so fed up of no one loving me
I feel no one understands how much pain I'm in
I feel I wanna die but I don't wanna kill myself

Does anyone know of any other way I can call out to my friends and family for more support without acts doing it. I'm not quite ready to top myself I think if I could get the aupport I need first I can stop this.

Please please don't say something stupid like tell them about this I've tried and no response I need a shock tactic. I tried to kill myself before and failed and still no one pays me any attention I need some love and attention I need someone to show they care

I need some relief from this pain

Any suggestions

And yes I'm doing counselling and I'm on pills I've told my doctor about the auicidal thoughts and atill no one seems to care I don't wanna kill myself but I'm getting closer and closer

[Enduronman]

Mike,

Chillax bruh. There's 100's of people here that care about you man. Just because there isn't someone right in front of you, doesn't mean that you're lost in any way.
Yes, call out your friends and family, and REVEAL these thoughts and feelings BECAUSE that's what depression and anxiety WANTS you to do, hide it for the piece of shit that they are...Let them SEE it, then they'll be able to help you, help yourself friend...

E-Man.

[Ponder]

For me - I have learned not to rely on my friends and family. This kind of thing we can only learn to deal with - within our own space. Of course I am speaking from a life of constant rejection, so I have had no choice but to learn on my own.

Exactly what is it that you are fed up with. Sometimes letting the shit out in whatever way you can, is much better than skirting the edges with a rope, blade, petrol can, or whatever your mind is focused on - perhaps jumping off a cliff - whatever way you contemplate - My advice is to just fucking tell it as it is. Don't wait for other members of your family to change the way they think because of how you act - that shit only leads to playing into the worlds stage of resist, prove oneself and being judged.

Let go I say - scream it out and tell it as you seems fit. I'm fucking done with Life myself friend - and could give two fucks what anyone else thinks. Either I learn to handle the snarling or I end up like a raving lunatic!

I find it hard to give advice, when at the same time I'm told to be careful how I do it - so it is, that I tell you, that I'm also on the fucking edge and ready to jump myself. On the very edge of phycosis - as I go about doing my shopping - ready to jump down the throat of anyone who's willing to throw me a judgmental look. Basically when feeling like this, one is pretty much fucked - seeing as we live in such a judgmental world.

So take the stage in here - and tell it like it is - It's exactly what I do - Lest I give in out there and take out a few with me!

Hope you make it back here and do just that!
Best wishes
We feel your pain.
Dave.

[AmberGbenga]

This life is exhausting mate, I've tryed to many times.. I agree. Tell it how it is.. Whatever is on your mind.. Let it out. But there are people that care, look at us.. We are all here feelin the same pain you are.. We all feel alone and like no one cares.. It's just how we feel.. Take a step back for a moment.. Look and see the little things.. Maybe you'll see someone cares.. Appreciate life.. The cool wind, the sky, the birds.. This is life bro. We are born alone and die alone. We fend for ourselves. This gets better, it will. You just need to be ready.. And you will know when you are.. Some people take longer than others and that's ok. You will be okay, we are all here to support and help as much as we can. Stay strong mate

[mikecole114]

This life is exhausting mate, I've tryed to many times.. I agree. Tell it how it is.. Whatever is on your mind.. Let it out. But there are people that care, look at us.. We are all here feelin the same pain you are.. We all feel alone and like no one cares.. It's just how we feel.. Take a step back for a moment.. Look and see the little things.. Maybe you'll see someone cares.. Appreciate life.. The cool wind, the sky, the birds.. This is life bro. We are born alone and die alone. We fend for ourselves. This gets better, it will. You just need to be ready.. And you will know when you are.. Some people take longer than others and that's ok. You will be okay, we are all here to support and help as much as we can. Stay strong mate


Last night was one of the worst of my life I couldn't stop thinking about it. I told someone and they panicked and now it's out there in the open world. My mum is finnally doing something and takin me to hospital now

Thankyou for your advice

[Enduronman]

YES!!! We are all proud of you Mike!!!

That took an amazing amount of strength, courage, and power that you think that you didn't have to accomplish this friend...it is there.

Keep us up to date to please...

Blessings your way!

E-Man..

[jkb]

Last night was one of the worst of my life I couldn't stop thinking about it. I told someone and they panicked and now it's out there in the open world. My mum is finnally doing something and takin me to hospital now

Thankyou for your advice

Bro please keep us up to date, the S word is something we do our best to avoid, but you know what it can come around and believe me you did an amazing thing TELLING SOMEONE. You are so strong for doing that, you will get help and you will progress, and you will ENJOY life again. Believe it!

Look forward to hearing from you soon!

[mikecole114]

Bro please keep us up to date, the S word is something we do our best to avoid, but you know what it can come around and believe me you did an amazing thing TELLING SOMEONE. You are so strong for doing that, you will get help and you will progress, and you will ENJOY life again. Believe it! Look forward to hearing from you soon!


So I'm home now from the hospital. It so crazy last night I was so certain I was going to die I was completely ready for it but now that seems so silly. My mum now knows the extent to which I've been feeling and seeing her get upset and cry while I told the doc about how I was feeling just shows. I've received so much support today from friends and I'm in such a more motivated position now then I was last night

Thankyou for your comment

[jkb]

So I'm home now from the hospital. It so crazy last night I was so certain I was going to die I was completely ready for it but now that seems so silly. My mum now knows the extent to which I've been feeling and seeing her get upset and cry while I told the doc about how I was feeling just shows. I've received so much support today from friends and I'm in such a more motivated position now then I was last night

Thankyou for your comment

Wow I am really happy for you Mike. It's so incredible to hear that you have finally let go of your fears and made your voice heard, its all it takes, just one small step like saying "Help" has changed everything.

Please continue to update us with your progress, like what is your next step bro?

[Enduronman]

YES Mike!!! Glad to see you bruh!..:)

[Ponder]

Glad your still breathing!

[AmberGbenga]

Thank god, I'm so proud of you!! See, people DO care! Sometimes people misunderstand.. You will be okay and we are all here for you. I'm glad your feeling better mate, you deserve it!!

[Saldav]

When people on this forum say they really do care, I believe it 100% and that's cause we've been or are in the same boat, I've never met any of you guys on this forum but from all my heart I could honestly say I care for each an everyone one of you. Anxiety/depression makes us this way. I hate it but in a way it has made me a better person, my heart is bigger, I care more about other people suffering. So mike thank you for sharring and keeping that chin up.

[Enduronman]

When people on this forum say they really do care, I believe it 100% and that's cause we've been or are in the same boat, I've never met any of you guys on this forum but from all my heart I could honestly say I care for each an everyone one of you. Anxiety/depression makes us this way. I hate it but in a way it has made me a better person, my heart is bigger, I care more about other people suffering. So mike thank you for sharring and keeping that chin up.

Powerful Sal...:)

[mikecole114]

When people on this forum say they really do care, I believe it 100% and that's cause we've been or are in the same boat, I've never met any of you guys on this forum but from all my heart I could honestly say I care for each an everyone one of you. Anxiety/depression makes us this way. I hate it but in a way it has made me a better person, my heart is bigger, I care more about other people suffering. So mike thank you for sharring and keeping that chin up.



Well said!!!

[Enduronman]

Hey dude!!

Glad to see you back bruh.. :)

[Alita]

Hi there,
Suicide? Just do not do it! It is the sad emotions making u think this way. There must be something or someone that gives u the will to live and make each day. Alita

[JustAnotherMe]

Hey Mike,

You did an amazingly brave thing telling other people how you feel but it was totally the right thing. I've been where you are and looking back it's easy to see that suicide was a wrong move but when you're in the middle of that maelstrom it's practically impossible to see out of it. Like my friends here have said, we're incredibly proud of what you've accomplished over the last couple of days. It takes serious guts to do that but you did it mate, and now things can only look up.

It won't be plain sailing all the way but nothing will be harder than what you just went through. Seriously mate, fucking well impressed.

Don't be a stranger.

[mikecole114]

Hey Mike, You did an amazingly brave thing telling other people how you feel but it was totally the right thing. I've been where you are and looking back it's easy to see that suicide was a wrong move but when you're in the middle of that maelstrom it's practically impossible to see out of it. Like my friends here have said, we're incredibly proud of what you've accomplished over the last couple of days. It takes serious guts to do that but you did it mate, and now things can only look up. It won't be plain sailing all the way but nothing will be harder than what you just went through. Seriously mate, fucking well impressed. Don't be a stranger.


I can't believe the change in mind set of the past 3 days. I don't believe In fate at all but hear me out because some wierd stuff has recently happened.
On Sunday night I had written my letter and I was ready to end the pain. I had a knife on my neck for at least 10 mins building up the courage to end it. I was about to do it when I heard scampering up the stairs and a frantic scratching at my door I opened up out of interest and my 2 cats who hate each other and never sit in the same room together both ran in and sat on my bed meowing and cleaning each other. It was so bizarre and unusual I just stopped and lay down and stroked them. My attempt was over.


The next day as I left the hospital feeling more positive but kinda shaken I checked my phone and an ex girl friend from years ago I hasn't spoken to in at least 2 years but we had always got on great had messaged me wondering how I am and wondering if we could meet up that night he also hoped I was okay about my recent break up. I was shocked and quickly became paranoid who had told her about my night before and hospital visit. I knew that she had suffered from depression too but hadn't spoken in years. Surely it can't be a coincidence that she messaged me the day all of this was going on. So we met up and had some drinks and she claimed she was sitting at home and had a massive urge to contact me. These 2 things plus the crazy amount of support I've recieved on here, from my family and friends has shock up my brain from a "everybody hates me things can only get worse and worse" too "I've hit the bottom and now I have to get better"

Thankyou all for your support and I hope this story gives you inspiration too!

[jkb]

I can't believe the change in mind set of the past 3 days. I don't believe In fate at all but hear me out because some wierd stuff has recently happened. On Sunday night I had written my letter and I was ready to end the pain. I had a knife on my neck for at least 10 mins building up the courage to end it. I was about to do it when I heard scampering up the stairs and a frantic scratching at my door I opened up out of interest and my 2 cats who hate each other and never sit in the same room together both ran in and sat on my bed meowing and cleaning each other. It was so bizarre and unusual I just stopped and lay down and stroked them. My attempt was over. The next day as I left the hospital feeling more positive but kinda shaken I checked my phone and an ex girl friend from years ago I hasn't spoken to in at least 2 years but we had always got on great had messaged me wondering how I am and wondering if we could meet up that night he also hoped I was okay about my recent break up. I was shocked and quickly became paranoid who had told her about my night before and hospital visit. I knew that she had suffered from depression too but hadn't spoken in years. Surely it can't be a coincidence that she messaged me the day all of this was going on. So we met up and had some drinks and she claimed she was sitting at home and had a massive urge to contact me. These 2 things plus the crazy amount of support I've recieved on here, from my family and friends has shock up my brain from a "everybody hates me things can only get worse and worse" too "I've hit the bottom and now I have to get better" Thankyou all for your support and I hope this story gives you inspiration too!

This is amazing to hear. Sometimes when we are so fragile and things surprise us it can feel like fate. Nevertheless, these events happened and will help you push on with positivity in your mind and this is what is so important.
I'm so glad you saw sense and saw how people around you care, even though your mind had began to trick you into thinking otherwise.