General Anxiety

[Josafe]

Hi all

I am gonna try and explain as best way I can what I feel. I dont know why or whether it is normal but I feel anxious at times. Its crazy really, I get thoughts of panic and fear that I may lash out or dare I say it hurt someone.

Alot of bad things have happened to me over the last several years. I have been attacked several times and required surgery and hospitalization. I sometimes fear that in a normal conversation someone my just hit me so I feel I need to be on my guard.

I havent hurt any one but its the sheer anxiety and panic that I might. I gave up drinking in the fear that I may lose control.

This is hard for me to say but what is going on? I am so scared that I am no longer OK and normal

[Enduronman]

Wow..

My clone!...This is weird!
Let me start over, my anxiety is not the fear of other people. It is the fear that someone will do or say something stupid, insensitive, hurtful, harmful, to one of my friends, family, children, or even a complete stranger but not to me, and I will then.....searching for words.....um, render them incapacitated.
My disorder is called (intermittent explosive disorder) and that is one reason why I became a member to begin with and to also try to help others with anxiety.
Whenever I become enraged, I can not see anyone in front of me, for who or whom they are.
I only wish to remove the threat, so as to protect, whoever, whenever, wherever, however....
I too was attacked many times in my life. I had already typed those 10000 words last year in my post. I never lost.
I take that back, I did lose once, but there were 11 others, against me and I had access to no weaponry. I survived. Chained to a hospital bed, bleeding.
I have not acted on my instincts, in 28 yrs. Not once..that's why I can sit here in my own home and type this. Or, I wouldn't be here. I'd be in a cage.
What's going on?
Your living your life in chronic stress, your adrenal system is super charged and ready for battle, you are a product of your environment, you may have a genetic predisposition to be an aggressor, I do, my ancestors were Vikings.
You are OK. You are you. Who's to say whether you or I are normal or not, maybe not in this day and age we're not "viewed" as being normal, but as long as you maintain control, you'll be a success friend.
I was thinking earlier about how to tell everyone what my anxiety is all about, and then you popped in....weird.
I don't run from danger, I run towards danger or dangerous situations, events, people, regardless of number or size of force...that's my anxiety.
I search for it, every day. Every where I go. I'm scanning. Looking. Watching...I know I am also psychotic, but I wish to protect anyone needing protection.
I am also an empath. I am a Protector empath. This was my destiny, and apparently yours too.
Welcome Jo Safe...
(I hope no one freaks out by these words, I am soft, kind, caring, compassionate to all yet I also carry a 9mm everywhere I go, legally).....
This world can be a scary place, but you're not scared of it or anything in it..you're afraid of yourself...
Am I wrong?

E-Man..:)

[Josafe]

Hi there and from the UK

WOW u have an interesting story. I could personally do with a person like you protecting me. I am by nature caring, funny, supportive and want the best for people and yet I have been attacked and robbed etc. It seems to have left me with heightened anxiety. So maybe I fear defending myself and causing harm so dont really....just take the beating and play dead. I have to as I'm on my own and out numbered.

I stopped drinking as I would wake up thinking the worst and feeling incredibly anxious.

I'm sure we arent the only ones who have this type of anxiety.

ps - Viking cool.


My ancestors are meant to be warriors