very depressed and scared

[Saldav]

The last few months have been very deppressing for me for no real apparent reason, besides financial problems. I have no type of motivation, I find it almost impossible to get up in the morning, I have no job and I feel worthless. I get a combination on anxiety and depression at the same time, I'm really scared and can't hardly even talk or explain myself. I just need positive reassurance that I'm going to be ok. Please if anyone can help me figure out what's going on in my head please help me, thank you in advance and god bless you all. My email is [email protected]. any advise will be greatly appreciated. I'm a 36 yr old man strong and healthy but my mind is totally the opposite I'm very overwhelmed. Please help!

[Enduronman]

I have no job, no income, but that doesn't make the man..we'll get you through bruh! The mind can be built strong too...

E-Man.

[Saldav]

E-man what do I do? My parents tell me to leave it all in the hands of god and he will help me through everything. But I'm confused all I do is lay here in my room freaking out just waiting for the day to end so I could sleep. My life can not consist of just laying here feeling like I'm losing my mind, I have 3boys that I love to death and I don't even interact with them. Sometimes I wish I was dead but I know that's not the answer to anything.

[Enduronman]

DO as I do friend. Just accept the fact that this is merely a bump in the road of life, and isn't your destiny. Then, when you get up enough strength and courage to direct the strengths and the power of the man that you are, focus that energy on those 3 boys and visit them, spend time with them,.just interact or talk to them. It is your destiny, to show them and teach them what it is that you want for them to be, know, grow, learn, and experience. Is what you're doing now what you want them to see?....
Dig deep, think about that for a minute, gather up your thoughts and point it into a positive direction and teach the kids how to be truly powerful. They want to know you bruh...
One more thing, a job will come if you search for that job because you've got heart..it's just wrapped up in some sort of sorrow at the moment. So, rip it outta there and go do something small, anything, go ask the gf or wife or their mother what they want you to do, to be helpful and you'll see that with that effort of trying to help someone else...it also helps you bro.
And by the way, death isn't the way out because you're far from being a selfish coward..I don't see that in you man.

Just small steps, small efforts, and not a fix all in (1) day. Patience with yourself and with others friend.

That's just some things that maybe you should think about doing, but there are many others that'll come to you once you get yourself going...

E-Man. :)

[trinidiva]

You have to start to focus your energy on the positive things in your life. Even if the things are very small things. You have good health. Be so very thankful for that. Yesterday a 35 year old friend of mine with a beautiful soul and spirit and six kids, was buried. She died of breast cancer. So every time you wake up in the morning...just say thank you. Be thankful that you have three wonderful kids and that you can spend time with them. You dont have to do anything that cost money either. Just toss the ball around with them or go for a walk or watch a holiday movie with them. Those are the things they remember and you will find that it will distract you from thinking about your problems.
Like Eman said you don't have to tackle everything all in one day either. A little bit at a time. Hang in there.

[Cullingford]

Hi ya I have 3 boys too ,there were nights when I went to sleep I would pray that I wouldnt wake up again, but things have got so much better and they will do for you my friend. As Trinidiva says just do a bit at a time , sometimes I cant bare the noise mine are making and I do something else for a while.

[JustAnotherMe]

Hey Saldav,

Thank you for sharing. I can relate to what you're going through at the moment, it's worse when you can't really explain why you are feeling. I mean if X was the obvious cause then fair enough, solve X by doing Y and all funky. Sorted. If only live was so simple..

There is no easy solution. You need to build momentum, at the moment it's all negative momentum. Be realistic, this is not going to be fixed overnight but every small step in the right direct makes the next step easier.

Choose something small and achievable. If you're having trouble motivating for anything then choose the easiest of things. If you're a slob at the moment (I am!!) make your bed first thing, every single day. Sounds absolutely ridiculous, I genuinely scoffed when I first heard that idea, but it works. That feeling of accomplishing something, first thing, sets a precedent for your day. After that is the norm you might go for a 10 minute walk every day. Soon you will catch yourself enjoying a particularly warm breeze and realize you've achieving small moments of happiness. Yes, you may still feel like shit a lot of the time. But you're walking in the right direction. And slowly but surely you will turn things around.

Be realistic. But be proactive. One step at a time mate. One step at a time.

[Saldav]

Thank you guys, I need positive comments. It's not easy but I guess one step at a time. I'll try my hardest! Anymore help will be greatly appreciated.

[trinidiva]

Thank you guys, I need positive comments. It's not easy but I guess one step at a time. I'll try my hardest! Anymore help will be greatly appreciated.

So, what is one thing you can say that you are thankful for today?

I'm thankful that I had a mostly anxiety free day and had a great day with my kids. I took them to see Santa.

[Ponder]

"Leave it in the hands of God ..." That's akin to "she'll be right, second coming is any day now."
My parents did that with my Brother, and my mother always runs away from a conversation telling me to leave it in God's hands. With out fail, I can tell how every conversation I have with my mother is going to in up in God's Hands.

On a positive Note - I don't believe in God, so unlike my mothers filing away method - I am left to deal with my problems as they arise.

[Saldav]

So, what is one thing you can say that you are thankful for today?

I'm thankful that I had a mostly anxiety free day and had a great day with my kids. I took them to see Santa.

I am thankfull I have a roof over my head and a wife and kids that will never give up on me.

[Enduronman]

There you go bruh!! Much to be thankful for...:)

[trinidiva]

I am thankfull I have a roof over my head and a wife and kids that will never give up on me.

That is wonderful and it is a great start. Try to do this every day. The key is learning to replace our negative thoughts with positive ones. Definitely easier said then done but it CAN be done.

How are you feeling today?

[Saldav]

Last nite I felt the most "normal" I've felt in months. Today was an ok day, made a fish tank divider since my fish had babies.

[Enduronman]

Hey Sal!!

Wuz upppp....Glad to hear you're doing better bruh.

:)

[trinidiva]

Last nite I felt the most "normal" I've felt in months. Today was an ok day, made a fish tank divider since my fish had babies.

Awesome!!!!!!!

[Cullingford]

Hi ive been thinking about you and hoping you are feeling a bit better, then I read you've been busy with your fish im so pleased.

Well done.

[Saldav]

Hi ive been thinking about you and hoping you are feeling a bit better, then I read you've been busy with your fish im so pleased.

Well done.

Thanks! Today was not so great but I managed.

[comikisses]

I cannot deal with my depression no more.... I think its time to end it

[comikisses]

Im on treatment for 5 weeks already ( cipralex ). Depression started out of nowhere and now real factors added to it ... It seems its gonna be like this forever, that my brain will never change...

[comikisses]

Is it possible cipralex to make you more depressed?

[SamC]

Side effects of tablets sometimes make you feel worse before you get better and Im sure I remember hearing that most pills take anything from 4 to 8 weeks to regulate, so stick with it. Like everyone is saying keep focusing on the positives in your live.

if you take a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle, write down all the positives and all the things you are thankful for on one side and all the things you feel are troubling you or are not so good on the other side, you will most probably find the positives out weigh the negatives, set a goal for yourself to try to change a negative into a positive thing, you really need to find something to keep your mind focussed and im sure the tablets will kick in soon just give them time :)

[trinidiva]

Side effects of tablets sometimes make you feel worse before you get better and Im sure I remember hearing that most pills take anything from 4 to 8 weeks to regulate, so stick with it. Like everyone is saying keep focusing on the positives in your live.

if you take a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle, write down all the positives and all the things you are thankful for on one side and all the things you feel are troubling you or are not so good on the other side, you will most probably find the positives out weigh the negatives, set a goal for yourself to try to change a negative into a positive thing, you really need to find something to keep your mind focussed and im sure the tablets will kick in soon just give them time :)

^^^^^Excellent advice.

[Dahila]

That the easy way to leave in hands of god. What is left for people like above or me? We are not believers....
You take one step at the time and really work on improving your situation instead for waiting on some deity to fix it. That's unrealistic. Take care Saldav, I have not see you for a long time here....

[Saldav]

That the easy way to leave in hands of god. What is left for people like above or me? We are not believers....
You take one step at the time and really work on improving your situation instead for waiting on some deity to fix it. That's unrealistic. Take care Saldav, I have not see you for a long time here....

Don't judge me in my believes, they are mine! if you don't like, or have something positive to say just keep to yourself. We are here to support each other in any way possible.
And yes I'm back life has been "hell" that's why I'm here for positive feedback.

[Saldav]

Thanks everyone... it's one step at a time, as long as they're foward.

[SamC]

I do not think dahila meant that judgementally of you, i think shes just meaning if thats all there is too do what happens to people who do not believe.

Its not a judgemental statement more like a rheotorical question :) shes just meaning for you to remember you need to bring yourself up aswell not just to sit and wait for a miracle, im not saying they dont happen but you need to help try too which im sure you are doing :)

Hope you are feeling a little brighter today after a bad few days.

[Saldav]

I do not think dahila meant that judgementally of you, i think shes just meaning if thats all there is too do what happens to people who do not believe.

Its not a judgemental statement more like a rheotorical question :) shes just meaning for you to remember you need to bring yourself up aswell not just to sit and wait for a miracle, im not saying they dont happen but you need to help try too which im sure you are doing :)

Hope you are feeling a little brighter today after a bad few days.

When I mentioned I leave it up to God it's not meaning I quit, I still continue to medicate and do positive things. These are my believes as a Christian no offense to anyone.

[Saldav]

Today I cleaned my garage, and put most of my tools away.

[SamC]

Yeah i think that was all she was meaning just dont quit not judgemental to your beliefs.

Good for you getting up and cleaning your garage :) you got plans for the rest of the day too, its good to keep busy :)

Im glad your having a little bit of a better day today, you need some days like that to keep your self focussed

[Saldav]

Yeah i think that was all she was meaning just dont quit not judgemental to your beliefs.

Good for you getting up and cleaning your garage :) you got plans for the rest of the day too, its good to keep busy :)

Im glad your having a little bit of a better day today, you need some days like that to keep your self focussed

I just need to sleep better. It's 4:15am here. I feel better at night for some reason. ¿?¿?

[SamC]

4.15am lol yup you def need more sleep if your still awake this time, sounds like you flipped your days and nights round ..

As long as your in a routine of some sort should help whatever makes you feel more better i suppose eh, everyone is different but to be honest i actually always felt more calm at nights when my anxiety was at its worst dont know why it just seemed more peaceful :)

[Enduronman]

Just keep the positive focus, direction, and spirit brother Sal...and don't mull over or contemplate some of the words and view points that you may read.

You're making progress friend!

Have a great day...

E-Man...:)

[Dahila]

Thank you SamC for explaining it:)) thank you very much, :)

[Saldav]

Thank you all I woke up at 10am when my wife got home from work. The morning is the worse for me, as soon as I open my eyes I feel the anxiety/depression. It's 2:30pm now haven't got out of bed just once to use the restroom. Watching football with my wife, I really can't enjoy it cause of the ups and downs of my anxiety/depression. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts.

[Cullingford]

Hey Saldav thought I would just check in to see how your doing. Hope your feeling good and you and your family had a great Christmas.

[Saldav]

Hey Saldav thought I would just check in to see how your doing. Hope your feeling good and you and your family had a great Christmas.

Thank you we had a great. Christmas with the family, how was your Christmas?

[Cullingford]

Yeah mine was good too with three boys the toys are great, Im having a second childhood playing with all this stuff.
Im really pleased you had a good one keep up the good work.

Cully

[Saldav]

Yeah mine was good too with three boys the toys are great, Im having a second childhood playing with all this stuff.
Im really pleased you had a good one keep up the good work.

Cully

Thank you cully

[Saldav]

Today was hard? I Had an appointment at 2pm, they asked me to be their 15 min early for paper work, but I couldn't find the building, so my anxiety escalated quick. I got there late but they took me in. Once done I go to my car and can't find my keys. Stupid me left them on the ignition. Today was hard but I managed.

[Dahila]

you survived the day, Tomorrow is going to be better:)

[Cullingford]

Hi saldiv just put down to one of those days, sometimes everything seems to go against you and others it all works out just sweet. Everything balances out in the end!losing your keys is nothing, once I lost my car I parked in a car park, then walked home and did'nt notice until the next day.

[Dahila]

Cullingford is that a new chicken? We all did left the car and forgot where is parked.

[Cullingford]

Hi Dahila she is my lovely blue egg laying Dorking called florence, I got 12 eggs only one was fertile her!, Shes very special to me. I changed my picture I was sick of having to keep seeing my ugly mug!!. :p

[Dahila]

First of all I think you are very handsome and I like to see your face, I love your chicken, she looks aristocratic :)))
How many of chicken do you have?
I would love to have some but in city in Canada you can not have any.

[Cullingford]

Thankyou for the compliment, such a rare thing I will take it and treasure it. I have ten chickens at the moment its a shame you can't have any, they are very relaxing. You have to get up early to feed them, I find this gets me going in the morning and it always cheers me up to see them.

[Dahila]

I think contact with any animal will help with anxiety, my anxiety was lower when I had my dog, but after she died, it went skyrocketing

[Cullingford]

I love dogs! my boys and me all want to get a dog but my wifes not keen which is a shame. My middle son has Autism and I think it would be really good for him, my wifes sister has 2 dogs and he loves taking them for walks. It can be quite hard to get him to got outside sometimes, he just prefers to be left alone to do his own stuff. My wife says she would be the at home with it all day so fair enough.

[Cullingford]

Hi ya Frankie how you doing

[Cullingford]

I really hope this will be a good year for you and you are able to achieve your goals, I think all the positive vibes we recieve here can help us achieve anything. I wish I had found this a couple of years back when it was really bad for me. I loved your post about singing in the bank that made me laugh. :)

[Dahila]

Yes the vibes most people sent out are good. May I say something about dogs and autistic children.
dogs are extremely helpful to communicate with children, I mean you guys could use the dog as link between you. I was breading and training dogs all my life and what I had seen with the dogs and children is short of miracles. Dogs help us to; lower our blood pressure, calm the heart palps and give us the unconditional love which we desire. What dogs give no friend or even family can give u.
For the place to sleep, a bowl of food and water, and occasional touch u get an ocean of loyalty and love. ...
I am the lover of dogs, and spending so many years with them thought me a lot about nature in general....
Neurotic dog; my last girl was like that. I think she was copying me... I hate when people get to close to me, I really need personal space to feel save, she was the same, I was an exception I usually just lied down on her...:)

Frankie I am happy the forum give you something good. That's awesome. :)

[Cullingford]

Im glad you think the dog would be beneficial as I said earlier he loves to be with dogs, I would be happy to have one! I spend half my life out walking so at least it would get plenty of exersise. My wife had dogs when she was growing up, so it seems a little unfair to deny the boys from having one I will have to try again and persuade her.

[Dahila]

agree with the ^^^:)

[Saldav]

Tomorrow is my b'day, I feel nothing inside me, I'm sad depressed and anxious. It's a new year but I feel the same, worthless and no motivation to do anything. I'm afraid this is going to last forever. I need to stay strong but I'm feeling weak.

[Saldav]

Hi Saldav,

I hope your birthday exceeds your expectations. Are you spending it with family.

Maybe you could try writing down each evening a couple of things in the day where you realised you smiled or felt a gratitude. You have kids right? Maybe a smile or a hug from them felt good. A 10 minute walk, you helped someone on the forum or vice versa, a nice meal was cooked for you...............

If we write down the little small things then they accumulate and can help us through the worst of our days. It's just an idea.

Take care friend.

Thanks for the good advice, I'll try what you suggested.

[Dahila]

Saldav, happy birthday, best wishes for you, have a beautiful day:))

[Saldav]

Saldav, happy birthday, best wishes for you, have a beautiful day:))

Thank you Dahila

[Saldav]

Happy birthday Saldav.

What we were talking about before......you could use ponders thread......something you did positive today? You can look back at it too.

Hoping your day is going well.
Thank you frankiecfc