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petrified
12-08-2013, 12:26 PM
Sorry for posting on here again moaning (I feel that's all I ever do these days). But just having a really tough day and feeling lonely. I no I have absolutely no right to feel lonely having my husband and son, but I can't shift this feeling today. Sorry if I sound like an adolescent going on and on but didnt no where else to turn. How can I stop feeling like this, I've been doing so well with my depression and anxiety I really feel like a failure today :-(

Dahila
12-08-2013, 01:31 PM
The worst kind of feeling lonely is when you are around your family or loved ones. It happens to a lot of people, it happens to me:( You are not alone, not alone by all means:)

Ponder
12-08-2013, 01:32 PM
Hi Petrified, I hope this low point does not last too much longer for you. Also you never have to apologize for ever feeling this way. IMO there is no right or wrong to whether one should feel - whatever. I mean look at how I was carrying on driving bavck home yesterday. I was acting like a fruit loop! I have no idea where that came from and I'm not going to apologize for it, and in fact I'm glad my daughter recorded it - because the point is, by what right is it, that others claim we must act a certain way. If I am feeling sad, then I will be Sad! - If I am feeling like a fruit loop, then I will be a fruit loop - and if I am feeling angry, then I will be bloody angry.

Sometimes having everything go alright - without any cause to feel anything, will in itself have us feeling fearful - because Society expects us to be feeling 24/7! Society can not function wit hpeople who are content just to keep their emotions check - I mean how the hell would Tom's Mum fork out to buy a "Jeep" if she was not feeling Jealous, Envious, Upset, Hollow about Julie's Mum getting one first - or How on Earth can we be Happy if we all don't by a "Jeep" ??????? LOL

Maybe your feeling Sad because you don't own a "Jeep???? ... Srry /// don't even try to understand that, perhaps not what you need to hear.

Honesty, I think I am just trying to say, is that we worry too much how it is that we a suppose to feel, that we loose track of how it is that we really do feel - and or struggle to feel at all, knowing that most of the time we are simply acting out to please the puppet masters more than ourselves - although we think we are so great with all the bells and whistles that make us shine so great. I don't know - and I'm kind of having a break at trying to crack that one - No doubt I will go back to pondering real soon.

All the same wishing you a quick trip through whatever void. May it pass sooner than later.
Thinking of you-
Fruit Loop - Dave.

tailspin
12-08-2013, 01:45 PM
Really sorry you're having a rough day, Hannah!! I know exactly what you mean about feeling lonely despite having loved ones close by. Depression makes us feel very isolated. It literally seems to put a wall around us sometimes.

When I have really bad days I just sort of try and ride it out. It doesn't feel as though there is much else I can do. I try and distract myself and above all I try and avoid the temptation to dwell too much on how bad I'm feeling and how hopeless everything is (because that is always what I want to do when I'm feeling bad).

I read something by Stephen Fry the other day which I found really helpful. Stephen Fry has manic depression and apparently some fan who also has manic depression wrote to him and said she was at her wit's end and couldn't cope anymore with feeling this way. He wrote back to her and his letter was published and I thought it was a great letter. The main gist of it is that, however bad it gets on certain days, WE WILL FEEL BETTER AGAIN!! And we just have to hang on until we do.

Here's an except from his letter:


I've found that it's of some help to think of one's moods and feelings about the world as being similar to weather:

Here are some obvious things about the weather:

It's real.
You can't change it by wishing it away.
If it's dark and rainy it really is dark and rainy and you can't alter it.
It might be dark and rainy for two weeks in a row.

BUT

It will be sunny one day.
It isn't under one's control as to when the sun comes out, but come out it will.
One day.

It really is the same with one's moods, I think. The wrong approach is to believe that they are illusions. They are real. Depression, anxiety, listlessness - these are as real as the weather - AND EQUALLY NOT UNDER ONE'S CONTROL. Not one's fault.

BUT

They will pass: they really will.

In the same way that one has to accept the weather, so one has to accept how one feels about life sometimes. "Today's a crap day," is a perfectly realistic approach. It's all about finding a kind of mental umbrella. "Hey-ho, it's raining inside: it isn't my fault and there's nothing I can do about it, but sit it out. But the sun may well come out tomorrow and when it does, I shall take full advantage."

Here's a link to more info about the letter in case you want to read that too! http://www.lettersofnote.com/2009/10/it-will-be-sunny-one-day.html

Really hope tomorrow is a sunny day for you, Hannah!! And it's great you've been generally feeling so much better! Hugs to you! xxxxx

Dahila
12-08-2013, 05:02 PM
Tailsspin that fantastic, I need to read something by Stephen Fry. Thanks for the link.
I know it is the "jeep" ;P
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGDl6-lyfMY

tailspin
12-10-2013, 03:09 PM
Thanks for posting that, Dahlia!!!

tailspin
12-10-2013, 03:11 PM
How's it going, Hannah? Thinking of you!! xxxxxx Let us know what's up! Hope you're stuffing your face with Advent Calendar chocolate!!!!

petrified
12-12-2013, 05:07 PM
Hi Joanna sorry I've been quiet just having a rough week, been for my last cbt session today also :-/ not sure I was ready to finish. I'm back at the doctors tomorrow morning though. I'm the only one in my house without an advent calendar lol (not sure how that happened when I'm the chocoholic hehe). I'm just trying to take one day at a time at the moment. I'm just really anxious and lonely at the minute, but to be honest I'm making myself worse as I don't want to speak to anyone and I'm making myself lonely :-/.

petrified
12-12-2013, 05:09 PM
Thanks for all your replies and Stephen frys book is now firmly on my Xmas list :-)

tailspin
12-12-2013, 05:19 PM
Hi Joanna sorry I've been quiet just having a rough week, been for my last cbt session today also :-/ not sure I was ready to finish. I'm back at the doctors tomorrow morning though. I'm the only one in my house without an advent calendar lol (not sure how that happened when I'm the chocoholic hehe). I'm just trying to take one day at a time at the moment. I'm just really anxious and lonely at the minute, but to be honest I'm making myself worse as I don't want to speak to anyone and I'm making myself lonely :-/.

Really happy to see you again, Hannah. I've missed you! I'm so sorry you're having a rough week. Sorry your CBT sessions are over too. I remember you only get a certain number of them. Is there any way to get any more? What does your therapist say? Can he/she recommend any further treatment? Or books or something?

At any rate, I really hope we can distract you a bit in the meantime, Hannah!!! Hugs to you! xxxx

petrified
12-12-2013, 05:32 PM
Thanks Joanna, to be honest I didn't ask. I'm like that at times I just nod my head and smile and say everything's wonderful, I'm going to ask my doctor tomorrow to see if there's anything they no of, or anyone else they can refer me too.
Thanks I love this place :-)

tailspin
12-12-2013, 05:51 PM
Thanks Joanna, to be honest I didn't ask. I'm like that at times I just nod my head and smile and say everything's wonderful, I'm going to ask my doctor tomorrow to see if there's anything they no of, or anyone else they can refer me too.
Thanks I love this place :-)

It's good you're going to see your doctor again tomorrow. How is the Prozac working? I know you were doing really well on it for a while. Really hope this rough week is just a temporary blip. (Though I know just what a drag those "temporary blips" are......) Anyhow, really hope your doctor's appointment is helpful tomorrow! xxxxxx

Dahila
12-12-2013, 09:26 PM
Petrified it is nice to see you again, you need to stick to us and we will make you feel better. Noone can understand you like we do:))

petrified
03-07-2014, 12:53 PM
This has really helped me today!
I'm so pleased I found it!
The advice I got then is still really relevant now. It's helped my gloomy day.
I hate depression I hate that one day I'm really happy and upbeat and the next everything is all doom and gloom.
What's up with that? GRRR

petrified
03-07-2014, 02:39 PM
Exactly. Mine feel like they just change by the hour!

In Melbourne Australia they say they have four seasons in one day. That fits with Stephen Fry's weather analogy and my current experiences.

Let's see what tomorrow brings.

I love that Stephen fry letter it really rings true!
I've got a busy day planned tomorrow, well mostly being a chauffeur for Luke and his activities mind. But hoping its going to keep me busy enough to stop being so down in dumps.
Hope you have a great one too frankie :-)

anxietycat
03-08-2014, 05:26 PM
Thank you for posting this letter excerpt - I am going to print it out and carry it jn my purse!