Tommo
01-25-2008, 08:07 AM
A brief rundown of my experience with anxiety/depression.
where to start?,
firstly let me just say, I am 21, and i over analyze situations by nature, like most victims, and now i have complete control over the attacks. I think depression is a given with this disorder, but I'm going to focus more on anxiety.
so, always wanted to share my experience with this disorder, but unfortunately I've never met anyone going through the whole ordeal as yet, so in an online forum will have to do. I will try to make this as brief as possible because i was looking through a couple of post's and the wall of text just repelled me instantly.
So it was triggered by "traumatic stress" apparently. I was on pot for a couple years straight, 16-18 to be exact, went sober for a year, then decided it would be a smart idea one time away at a holiday to smoke a fat ass joint by myself and later get ripped more than i'd ever had before. to this date i still think that the weed was laced with something.
Before i knew it the world collapsed around me, i wont bore you with all the generic bullshit symptoms. but in short i thought i was going to fucking die.
So, next comes the week thinking, what the fuck is wrong with me and doctors throwing pills at you, saying there is no instant cure. woohoo
I personally didn't think anti depressants helped anything, they just gave me the same numb feeling of being stoned, so i tried cold turkey, but still the same time every night this surge would hit me for a good hour, it was so easily set off as well even over petty things like watching documentaries on death and diseases and news affairs, all the irrational ridiculous thoughts happened, this lasted for around 6 months few times daily.
How i got cured!
Sorry, but i'm gonna use the C word, CEEBEETEE, cbt. cognitive behavioural therapy, training the mind to push out negative thoughts, and to step outside yourself and think rationally, This inspired me to accept the surges and gave me a whole new angle on how you can actually look forward to them and see it as kind of a challenge to control your mind (easier said than done right?). now two years later, i still get the seemingly progressive surge on the odd occasion but it's a joke how easy it disappears with the right mindset. here's a list of other things that helped:
Family, friends to confide in.
Bronwyn fox - "power over panic" (this book doesn't pamper you and come across as condescending, it tells it how it is, it confronts issues as taboo as suicide and lets you know where you stand.)
Jeff Buckley - Grace (start to finish, best album every made.)
Meditation (seems laughable i know, but you gotta try everyone once right?)
Exercise (mainly walking, it's therapeutic and clears your head.)
So that's about it, i got no idea what i'm trying to achieve through venting this and you've probably heard all this bullshit before, funny thing is alot of the times i forget i ever went through this chapter of my life, and start taking my current normal life for granted, so maybe this is some way of validating my progress? who knows.
Sorry if i bored you with cliches..
where to start?,
firstly let me just say, I am 21, and i over analyze situations by nature, like most victims, and now i have complete control over the attacks. I think depression is a given with this disorder, but I'm going to focus more on anxiety.
so, always wanted to share my experience with this disorder, but unfortunately I've never met anyone going through the whole ordeal as yet, so in an online forum will have to do. I will try to make this as brief as possible because i was looking through a couple of post's and the wall of text just repelled me instantly.
So it was triggered by "traumatic stress" apparently. I was on pot for a couple years straight, 16-18 to be exact, went sober for a year, then decided it would be a smart idea one time away at a holiday to smoke a fat ass joint by myself and later get ripped more than i'd ever had before. to this date i still think that the weed was laced with something.
Before i knew it the world collapsed around me, i wont bore you with all the generic bullshit symptoms. but in short i thought i was going to fucking die.
So, next comes the week thinking, what the fuck is wrong with me and doctors throwing pills at you, saying there is no instant cure. woohoo
I personally didn't think anti depressants helped anything, they just gave me the same numb feeling of being stoned, so i tried cold turkey, but still the same time every night this surge would hit me for a good hour, it was so easily set off as well even over petty things like watching documentaries on death and diseases and news affairs, all the irrational ridiculous thoughts happened, this lasted for around 6 months few times daily.
How i got cured!
Sorry, but i'm gonna use the C word, CEEBEETEE, cbt. cognitive behavioural therapy, training the mind to push out negative thoughts, and to step outside yourself and think rationally, This inspired me to accept the surges and gave me a whole new angle on how you can actually look forward to them and see it as kind of a challenge to control your mind (easier said than done right?). now two years later, i still get the seemingly progressive surge on the odd occasion but it's a joke how easy it disappears with the right mindset. here's a list of other things that helped:
Family, friends to confide in.
Bronwyn fox - "power over panic" (this book doesn't pamper you and come across as condescending, it tells it how it is, it confronts issues as taboo as suicide and lets you know where you stand.)
Jeff Buckley - Grace (start to finish, best album every made.)
Meditation (seems laughable i know, but you gotta try everyone once right?)
Exercise (mainly walking, it's therapeutic and clears your head.)
So that's about it, i got no idea what i'm trying to achieve through venting this and you've probably heard all this bullshit before, funny thing is alot of the times i forget i ever went through this chapter of my life, and start taking my current normal life for granted, so maybe this is some way of validating my progress? who knows.
Sorry if i bored you with cliches..