Will i ever overcome my social phobia???

[casstar01]

I'm feeling so lost and overwhelmed by my social phobia and general awkwardness around others- even people I know. I've had this disorder my whole life and I'm almost 33 years old and still suffering as much if not more than I did as a child. I'm beginning to fear I will never overcome it!! Even if only enough to be able to function. It's so bad I cannot make phone calls, go anywhere alone, I can't work, freaked out and failed out of school so now I owe a bunch of money for that, I have absolutely no social life, and no real life to speak of anyway. I stay at home all day everyday on the couch as t.v. Is my only sence of comfort. I'm 32 and I've already missed out on all these years, my "youth" is being waisted away along with any possibilities for a successful future- no one will hire a 32 year old with little to no formal education or work history or any real skills. I desperately want to overcome this but fear I've had it for so long that it's so ingrained within me that I will never be able to overcome it!! I'm lost, terrified, and feel so hopeless and helpless!!! Does anyone out there suffer to this degree or overcome this type of thing or just have any words of wisdom or understanding?????

[ThousandMiles]

This might not be of much help to you, but, I do believe that it will get better :)

Even if your social phobia does not go away all together - which it might not - you can definitely develop strategies to cope with how it affects your everyday life. Ways to give yourself the strength + courage to push yourself to go out and participate and take your life where you want it to go :) It's never to late to get qualifications and get ahold of your life. You can do it, ok? :3 x

Are you seeing someone at the moment? If you are, and it's really not working, then maybe you need to seek a different type of help. Just give different things a try for a few months at a time, and see what helps you. And remember 3 things; firstly, everything takes a while to kick in. Secondly, you have to really try and want to get better. Third, any progress is good. Progress is progress, no matter how small. Celebrate even the baby steps towards even the smallest of successes :) x

[casstar01]

Thank you soo much for the encouraging words!!! :). Your right about the baby steps and acknowledging the progress no matter how small that I make. I forget that all the time! So it really helps to be reminded. I am seeing someone but she is new I haven't been with her very long yet but I do think it's a good fit! The thing is I've got to remember that success doesn't happen over night! Ohhh impatience!!!!! ;)

[Enduronman]

Looks to me like you may just need kind of a "role model" to take you out, show you about, spend some time with you, show you that there's nothing or no one out there that should be forcing you to feel this way, live this way, tormented..

Where's the family, friends, neighbors, siblings, anyone at??...If I can ask that???.....

If you were confident enough to enroll in school, go to school, attend school, regardless of whether you succeeded or not because I sure as hack didn't either, than that skill is still in there..it didn't just disappear.

What about therapy, medications,..what's your take on that?
E-Man,..:)

[casstar01]

Thanks for replying ! I think I really like your idea about needing a role model to show me around and help me out. I've never really had anyone to look up to. I don't have any siblings which has been incredibly lonely. No father, my mother was not meant to be a parent. She was always very depressed, we were poverty stricken so my days were filled with excruciating silence except for the sound of her crying in bed all day. I was never really socialized and it really messed me up. I'm seeing a new therapist and I think she is good but I'm still in the beginning. I'm on a very low dose of clonozapam which even though I need more it has been more helpful than I ever could have imagined! I do have a boyfriend who has been very patient and understanding with my level if anxiety. But, he has his own issues as we all do. So, I'm finding myself just stuck in so many ways. I desperately wish I could work or go to school and be able to socialize with others but I just freak out and get frozen. My identity is so linked now with anxiety I worry I will never overcome this or that I will never gain my true identity that I can share with others with out fear of rejection. Does that make sence?? I would love to hear back from you, I really liked your response, it was somehow really comforting. :)

[Ponder]

Different story here, but totally get what you mean! Will I ever overcome it? / is something I asked my therapist on my last visit - end result was for me to accept I may very well never come to terms with my reality - Accepting it is everything to me, in order to simply just move on and be the person I am to be - or better yet, I AM! ... I am much of what you speak for yourself - But the best part for me - is to accept just that and be happy without the Job, without the credentials, without the house, without the car - because my condition is such, that I will never attain those expectations and or obligations society seeks to gain and or impose! Letting go is not so easy though - is it?

I dont hand out stars for good comments or say I agree - but none the less I also gell with what e-man has said - I may in fact look out for a mentor, however for me - I prefer the term support person - probably because I am older than most mentors I have seen within the Mental health field. Being on my own for too long is not a good thing - I start to loose to much energy and think having a friend is good for keeping motivated.

Wishing you well - I don't't know - just saying I gell with your question and often wonder the same thing. I think I will always be like I am ... My Son thinks I am like on old retired man, that never retired - I'll go with that for now - :)

[quinny]

I suffer with this aswell but I think you can 100 percent get over it with practise and pushing your self it becomes a bad horrible habbit and can be broken with practise it can be scary and get you down but its all about being brave and pushing your self just little bits at a time :)

[Enduronman]

shing whing wong dong Pizza.

[Lord Jazzinho]

I suffered with it to that degree for 8 years then to a lessening extent for 4 years after. Anxiety is hungry beast that grows ever bigger in your mind until it is all there is I found that the question what if could lead me to a panic attack quite quickly, anxiety to this degree ended up for me to be a series of mental processes which I learned to combat, I accepted my situation as it was and said to myself if this is all there is for me then so be it from there I could then combat "what if" with "so what" until I just stopped asking what if and said I will deal with the situation as it arises and not give it any thought before that. As I said Anxiety likes to keep feeding itself and get bigger and bigger what you have to do is identify what it likes to eat and starve it there by making it smaller and smaller. You said you watch a lot of T.V. so this little nugget may be quite useful DON"T WATCH THE NEWS especially local news, its just a very biased hype machine that can convince you'll be mugged before you've opened your front door. Accept yourself completely you cannot move on if you don't know where you are. It took me form the time I was 15 till the time I was 28 to get out the house and another 4 years to get to this point, I am now 32. What I do know though is that the way I dealt with it may have been the hard way but if you can it do it this way then you will be equipped with all of the tools you need to fight it far more effectively should you have to face it again. Hope this helps