Searching for anything good...(sigh)

[Dahila]

Eman are you flirting with teenagers?
;)

[jessed03]

Eman are you flirting with teenagers?
;)

Yeah, Eman. Be careful when you text her. We don't want her getting kicked out of class for using her phone. :rolleyes:

[Dahila]

damn we need the ""like"" button:)

[NixonRulz]

lol at the bright side , EMan, even though you just sold that car, she will be able to drive soon and come and see you :D

[Dahila]

Eman seems to be busy; flirting:)))

[ALoneAndEmpty]

wow Enduronman, i envy you hahaha looking forward to your next update :)

[NixonRulz]

I think EMan gave everything up, fixed up a car and drove away with his new girl

[jessed03]

E-man, how're you doing? I haven't seen you in ages. Thought I'd bump this thread for an update.

[Dahila]

Do not waste your time billy here, no one is going to pay you for anything.............

[AshleyMe123]

I know and understand your suffering. I struggle daily with anxiety. I think the worst part of it are the self destructive stories that I tell myself. I recently got into a new relationship and I live in constant fear that I am going to be "lied to, cheated on, have one pulled over on me, etc.". I've broken up with this guy four times in the past month and he hangs in, realizing that it isn't really me talking when that happens. Its just so unfair to him and to us and I feel like its such a set back each and every time it happens. I don't know what creates this. Is the fear a reaction to a gut instinct or is it just an action that he does that triggers something in me? I started a regimine of natural supplements (B-Complex, fish oil, gava, lavella, and a mood enhancing supplement in the hooes that it will reduce some of the anxiousness. Has anyone had a similar experience in a new relationship and what has helped you?

[JustaGal]

I know and understand your suffering. I struggle daily with anxiety. I think the worst part of it are the self destructive stories that I tell myself. I recently got into a new relationship and I live in constant fear that I am going to be "lied to, cheated on, have one pulled over on me, etc.". I've broken up with this guy four times in the past month and he hangs in, realizing that it isn't really me talking when that happens. Its just so unfair to him and to us and I feel like its such a set back each and every time it happens. I don't know what creates this. Is the fear a reaction to a gut instinct or is it just an action that he does that triggers something in me? I started a regimine of natural supplements (B-Complex, fish oil, gava, lavella, and a mood enhancing supplement in the hooes that it will reduce some of the anxiousness. Has anyone had a similar experience in a new relationship and what has helped you?

Get to the root of why you have fears in the relationship...that will be healing. : )

[struggling1234]

hang in there my friend!!

[struggling1234]

keep going mate!

[struggling1234]

theres always light at the end of the tunnel! :)

[awalker]

Hey E-Man,
That is quite a list. But you've inspired me to write out my own list and get it off my chest:
1. Anxiety Disorder - GAD with panic attacks. Currently on Cymbalta 60 mg and Wellbutrin 300 mg. Doing much better but all day long have the apprehensive feeling that I could lose it and have 24-7 panic again like I did back in March.
2. Weight problems. Anxiety makes me lose my appetite..lost 20 pounds in 2 weeks...no exaggerating. And I was in the low BMI bracket to begin with. My doctor said she was going to hospitalize me to make sure I ate unless a relative would come and stay until I gained some weight back. I have at least stopped descending but still drinking Ensure like an old person frequently. (Im 31).
3. Marriage problems. can't go into detail but we are getting counseling. I notice my anxiety goes way up when I'm' around my husband.
4. Secondary Infertility. Had a baby....then husband had hernia surgery and damaged one of his tubes that delivers the sperm down. No more babies for us. Hard because people aren't very sympathetic since I already have one. I grieve every time I'm around a pregnant woman or anytime someone announces they are pregnant with their fourth or fifth or sixth child.
5. History of sexual harrassment from my older brother.
6. Because of #5, have self-esteem, body image issues as well as trust issues.
7. Miscarriage before my first child leading to my anxiety disorder.

Well, I know it's nothing compared to your list but I think I will try to do a positive list now.
1. I have a son who is healthy and generally quite happy.
2. I have a husband who I know loves me.
3. Besides starving to death, I have no life threatening illness.
4. I have lived to make it to 31 (some people don't).
5. I have a german shepherd puppy that I love so much.
6. I have food to eat and a bed to sleep in and live in a country where I am not worried about war or poverty.

These are huge things.....I need to do this every day!
7.

[jessed03]

Nice post, awalker.

Starting the countdown to Eman's return

[Dahila]

Good luck, people with countdown to Eman's return:)) I miss him too

[needtogetwell]

I miss him three!!! Lol

[jessed03]

He told Nixon he's coming back today.

Continuing the countdown to Eman's return...

[Im-Suffering]

Ive always described this man as beautiful (spirit guides description from a soul perspective). Maybe this hiatus and some peace has finally allowed him to accept this about self. That has always been the goal.

Because when that is accepted and believed the magic starts and the crap lifts that was once blocking the view.

[needtogetwell]

He told Nixon he's coming back today. Continuing the countdown to Eman's return...

He's probably been lurking waiting for that perfect moment......sound familiar Nixon??

[needtogetwell]

Oh gee, thought just occurred to me. (Quiet in the peanut gallery, that means you two bad boys!)

The three of you together again....the newbies don't have any idea what their in for.

WHERE'S THE VAN?????? LMAO!

[jessed03]

http://pics.imcdb.org/0is143/capture17bor8.1776.jpg

Now he has to come back.

[needtogetwell]

Now he has to come back.

I knew you had it!!!!! I still have shotgun!

[jessed03]

How long is he gonna make us wait?

Still counting down the G*ddam arrival of Eman!!

[needtogetwell]

A few FB pokes with the cattle prod may just be necessary.

[Dahila]

Eman is someone who supports everyone, he does not need to be analyzed. I love the man dearly, his humor, his positive thinking and he is fun to be with. Hopefully he will come and saw some happiness here, we NEED you EMAN

[jessed03]

Eman is someone who supports everyone, he does not need to be analyzed. I love the man dearly, his humor, his positive thinking and he is fun to be with. Hopefully he will come and saw some happiness here, we NEED you EMAN

I messaged him lots of times today. I guess he doesn't want to come.

[jessed03]

Guys, put your balloons and ribbons away. Eman's not coming. False alarm. I'm sorry.

[dwizzite]

I had a chat with my sister the other day that I think will help Eman and everyone else in this situation where NOTHING seems to work.

She was telling me about how she wanted to write a nasty letter to a family member that made her mad, and I told her that I think she simply needed to vent, so I invited her to write the letter and send it to me instead. She laughed and realized that she in fact just needed to get it out of her head.

Depending on the severity of what anxiety you have experienced with anxiety, writing it down or making a video (if you don't like writing), helps so much because it gives you a chance to have a brain dump. The great thing about writing things down is that it's visual.

You get a chance to see all the sh*t that anxiety creates in our mind that literally cripples some of us.

Eman, you created something good by looking for something good.

Now, depending on how ambitious you are, the next time is to take action on whatever you are willing to flip around.

I know many people anxious people avoiding confrontation, or picking up the phone and telling someone they love them for fearing that they won't accept the compliment.

When you come from a place of giving that compliment to give, anxiety goes away. It's remarkable how simple of a mindset that can be, but it's super effective.

A great book I'd recommend is "Give and Take". It's all about giving to giving.

Once I began giving to give, I had less anxiety in all areas of my life.

[livewell3]

Best of luck!

[missedlink]

omg, seems an impressive list. What can you list that is positive?

Good luck, stay safe!

[needtogetwell]

Just wanted anyone to know that the man who started this thread is one of the most amazing individuals I have ever had the privilege of calling my friend.

Miss you being here E-man. I'm sure there are many others who do too.

And yet many others who would greatly benefit from you!

Cheers my friend. Love and blessings always!

[chrisjudson]

Hey man

you have to get through each day. Something I find helpful when your in your head about stuff, is write it down like you are already but try and leave the negatives off the list.
Write down everything you do/achieve in your day no matter how small....small wins will get you through

for example for me today:

1) woke up
2) got out of bed (that's mega hard atm)
3) got in the shower and made sure I was clean
4) made toast for breakfast
5) drove successfully to Nottingham without getting lost or taking wrong roads/motorways
6) achieved everything I got given to do on my list upon arrival at the office
7) just about went and got lunch and AD tablets (prescription)

just break each day down like this.

having forums like this will really help because by the looks of it theres people here who may be going through what you are and do get it
even when it seems like the world doesn't get you

I hope that helps

blessings

chris.

[cloudy black]

hello jessed03
doh! who's Eman i am a newby

[Enduronman]

I made my last post on February 2nd of this year. As I read it, it looks almost exactly the same as things are right now. I hadn't told anyone that Chloe is back in jail again until March because of the same shit as the last 5 times. Drugs. She ran my car into a ditch, police showed up, found a damn needle in her purse, off to jail. Heroin. Sent Kim, basically a wife after 10 years in a relationship, that I'm glad that her dumbass is gone for good, and she is not exactly what I am looking for to be a part of my future life, in any way at all. Plus, she's not what I would have thought a person that was in college until age 26, would be, act like, know, treat others, and I learned that her education didn't mean shit in any way, shape, or form. She was an idiot. I am way less stressed with her gone too.

enow, I just either sit, or lay in this room. Although since the new med, I was able to go to a shooting range for 1 hour a couple days ago and try to get my 9's sighted in, and then go and see my granddaughter yesterday too. I have some abilities now, but they are generally limited in time. That's the problem. Now I stay up late, and sleep until 4pm or so. And, I take this damn Ritalin and it only works for 3 hours and 20 minutes until I'm ready to fall over. It used to work all day. Now, I have to change meds to Adderall so I can actually get my sleep patterns back, and, stay awake more then 3 hours. I also spend much time on Facebook chatting with people too, and also on a drug forum trying to learn about this Adderall shit before I have to take it. I am well versed about it now. I know what to expect, but not sure what its really going to do until December 12th...She put me on fentanyl so that I could ride in a car, sit in a chair, get off of the bed and it screwed everything up. *sigh*...

I decided to come back here, to see what I could actually do, accomplish, achieve, and to see who I could possibly help that actually needs help. The last 3 times that I have tried to help someone on Facebook, I was left in a position of sadness, despair, grief, and wondered why, what happened, how this happened, and why people act as they do anymore. Helping others, is the ONLY thing that helps me to feel better. I have so many issues, problems, questions, troubles, and helping others helps to minimize the piles of shit that I myself have to deal with, cope with, and face. It was as if, the people there didn't understand what an act of kindness was? Or, that there has to be some kind of catch and I'm going to violate them somehow? Its really f***** up over there. I remove 3 out 5 friends that I gain most every day because they are bullshit fake profiles, set up by a criminal that is going to attempt to scam suckers out of money. I can see that. Basically, I am getting tired of the fakes, frauds, and the things that people post now on there too. It's almost pathetic to me. You all know what sells?

Anyway, so I have actually been able to get out of this house a few times this year. I told my X exactly what I thought. I know how I'm going to handle this drug change. I know where I'm going for Thanksgiving and I know what I'm giving thanks for, and for who too. I have not heard a word from my oldest daughter in over 2 months and she's only 10 miles north, so I don't know about that. I do know, that she again failed her State given drug test to regain custody of her baby girl. Her brain is all f****** up and there is nothing I can even do about that at all when she's 23 either. I also spoke to Chloe today at the jail and she's doing fine. I plan to try to go see her next Saturday as well. I ordered a compound bow, arrows, targets, just to give me something to do that doesn't require me to drive or ride in the car. And I bought 2 so Chloe can have her own, and practice with me, spend time with me, right out back too. I have a scooter that I sometimes get out on to ride but usually no more then an hour. Hurts my back of course, but it gets me outside. Tried out some dating sites, that were all complete failures and I wouldn't meet with any of the ones that I chatted with but I had one that seemed to be a possibility, seemed honest, truthful, so I stayed with it and tried to make it work out so we could meet and get together to see if we were compatible with each other. I gave her $700 because she had been giving me hints, clues, signs, that something was on her mind. So, I asked her. Um, is there something bothering you dear? Yes, I need $700 to enroll into nursing school by a certain date so I can get all my textbooks and everything, but that isn't your problem, I'll figure something out....She went to New York, took a trip, hit a chuckhole and blew out a tire and bent a rim. It cost $290 to fix that. Then, on her way back the fuel pump quit working about 300 miles from home. So what did she do? Called me and asked for $200 more to fix it? After her bullshit lie about nursing school fees? Hey Tammy, f*** you! Good luck! And, don't call me again you pathetic scammer!..I got played for about a month. I will never join another one again. If I am going to meet the right one, I have to first off, be awake for more then 3 hours. Then, get out of here and make a plan as to where and when I will find her. This is something that really needs to happen, and not just because I need a girlfriend or wife either. I can't really tell all here. There are reasons, and the timing must be right too. Jessed knows what's up. Jessed knows what the plans are. I can tell you that my two kids need an actual real mother figure, and that is 95% of it too. That is my hopes, dreams, and will make me happy just to see them happy again. I haven't seen them actually happy, about anything, in almost 10 years. So, this woman, whoever I finally choose, will have to be interested in the things that they will be wanting to do because I am limited on the things that I can do. Lots of different outdoor activities regarding water sports and such. Cabin living, as they will both have their own cabins on the property too. With all of the comforts of a real home. I know where they'll be most of the time. LOL!! My X, is incapable of any of the things that they will need, to make me smile and happy. She won't be permitted to work either. Another thing my X was incapable of too. She just isn't equipped or in a shape to be, what they both need for a mother to be. Glad, happy, enthused, that she is gone forever. Part of my Thanksgiving Holiday.

So, good to be back. Going to write now. Put some real future plans on paper. And hope that this turns out to be a good day, not only for me, but for you too.

Blessings.

E-Man.

[Im-Suffering]

I haven't been around too for a while. Some very big changes traumatized me for a bit personally. Life has a way of cleansing the energies. Every so often. Some can be seen as a complete shake up but when the dust settles we can see the greater plan that we were unaware of during the upheaval.

Remember friend, the energy you put out creates what returns to you. In a sense, your whole life and all of its experiences spring from a well inside you. This includes everyone you see and their lives too. You are interconnected.

The purpose of meeting that person on the date site and the following experience was to clear the crap inside you that attracted that sort of person. Only then can you meet someone who is your 'match'. She will always match your inner energy, what you think, what you don't know you think, and both your conscious ideals and unconscious ones. This too is the reason for the friction and conflicts on Facebook. It's in you. And if I did not tell you or anyone reading this, it would be a disservice. One must absolutely look at their experiences and if they are not ideal, find the thinking patterns that create the energies projected and change them, even in the face of physical opposition. Meaning if the begin to think differently but yet your experiences remain the same, continue with your new thoughts and allow time for the energies to change your immediate world.

It's not the dating sites, its you, and whom you attract.

Finally, this message has always been consistant in its content, dating way back in this very thread you remember. Youve got to have the determination to change your beliefs and shock your system if necessary, turning your current world temporarily upside down if you wish to have a new life and new experiences.

Enough of creating and getting what you don't want, you see? You are proficient in that due to your beliefs (do you believe that?). And rather than placate me, you must decide enough is enough, youve had enough of life as it is, and have the courage and strength to change the old patterns that govern you, accepting the changes that will follow. The courage to change your beliefs in the face of what your old beliefs are creating is both utterly edifying and difficult, but a most important part of your personal journey.

When will enough be enough? In giving you these repeated messages I am truly the face and voice of your guardian angel who tries so desperately to break through. You are as stubborn as you know who (family member)....!!

The mental creates the physical, period. When will you accept that and take back control of your mind and thoughts? And stop bowing and giving your power over to the physical and your senses. Your senses corroborate the mental, so if life is not going as you wish, you must change your mind about it, literally. And do this consistantly in the physical face of what you don't want, because for years you have been creating a certain way based on your beliefs, you must give the new thinking even if forced a time to take hold in the soil of your mind. So you say 'I feel great today' repeatedly in the face of pain. Or 'I will meet my perfect soulmate soon' even as you are with the person from hell.

In the past when I told you this for instance in regard to dealing with mother, you necessarily did not believe in it, or give it enough time and effort to shift reality. Even though you were beginning to see a subtle change in the relationship. You completely ignored the signs but we're beginning to feel differently and everything around you was changing. So two components are necessary. You must believe in the power of your mind, and give yourself time to see results. Looking for the small changes first. Or a big monumental change depending on how sick you are of your current life.

When will messages like this 'snap' or 'click' within you? Hopefully not after many more wasted years.

Find within yourself the determination to change yourself, and not look to change physical reality itself or blindly react to it. So many of you are under its mesmerizing spell that you have forgotten that you create it through mental processes.

Interestingly enough, you will know you are healing and changing when you no longer have the need to help anyone else (regarding the specific topic you yourself are working through). You will un derstand this statement soon.

[Dahila]

Oh guys it is good you came back, both of you, I miss you so much and AF really needs some order now. :))) Welcome back

[Enduronman]

Good to see you both again as well. I read your post IM. I had some minor issues today yet overlooked one of them, and attacked the other one. I had asked my Mother to join my Father and I for Thanksgiving because we were FORCED to celebrate that day of thanks, alone, because of what (3) of his own family members did to him last year and NONE of his family down there (25 to 28 people) even called him to notify him of what was happening. His ONLY sister, last remaining next of kin, was put into a nursing home. HE was to be given her car. An Olds with 30K on it. Well, the (3) took everything out of her house, and took the car too. Then, we he called to inquire as to his sister, and the car? She was fine, and the car was inoperable and in terrible condition. Then, 2 weeks later, they are driving the car to Florida. They destroyed all trust, faith, hope, in his entire family and that is where my Mother is going. I told her to have fun with those greedy, selfish, lying, destructive, inconsiderate, insensitive people. And, I DEMANDED that she keep both boats too. I had told her that I needed all of her important information when she passes so I know what to do, and also to keep both boats in case one breaks down on the other side of the lake. Plus, the boat that she was wanting to sell was only $500 because it was broken, and I fixed it. I told her that I do not care that your neighbor wants it, just tell him that it is no longer available, sorry, period.

That, is not me. Her desire to sell it, could easily be changed at the request of her Son that will actually let his own kids use it. Imagine how hard it was last year to tell my Son that we could not take the boat out on the water, because "Your Grammy said that she can't afford the boat insurance, sorry Son" when I only see him for (1) week a year? And he knows, that she has millions of dollars too. She, is sick. My kids, come first. Both boats will be in the water, insured, running, fueled, ready to go have fun. I will not LIE and say that I can't afford the insurance when I have nearly $3 million in investments. She's a complete selfish, greedy, inconsiderate, insensitive, dumbass. And, when she passes, I will actually live life as what life was meant to be lived. Not sit on a pile of money, drink vodka, talk to a dog, and tell all my kids and grandkids that they are pathetic pieces of shit. Period. I will be happy as hell, to be able to provide my family and kids, with a real, happy, stress free, fun, enjoyable, entertaining, fulfilling, life. The End.

Other then that, all is well. Just waiting for some hunting bows that I had ordered so I could go out back and actually have some entertainment, fun, and a hobby myself. Not much else that I can do, besides ride a scooter. The gun range is about $30 to $40 a visit. So, I am not real sure about that one. Maybe one time a month, Chloe and I will go shooting. I am not yet, a multi-millionaire. LMAO!! "I'm broke"...HHAHHAAAHA!!!

My Father's family? Pathetic. Destroyed, everything that he even looked forward to. **** all of them. They mean nothing to me either, just like they now mean nothing to my Father. A kind, giving, selfless, thoughtful man. They s*** on him, his feelings, his thoughts, his emotions, and broke him and his heart. They are worthless to us both, and always will be too.

Going out for a ride I think. Great to see you both!

E-Man

[Enduronman]

I believe that I found things that were good, although they may have hurt the feelings of the people on the receiving end of my engagement to communicate a very clear and precise point to them.

I ordered my selfish parent, that is a female, to keep the boat that I fixed for us to use, when I could actually fix things which is why it was so cheap to begin with. She stated that her neighbor wanted to buy it because he now has water up to his boat walk after the dredging was completed. I told her that I do not give a shit it he has water, your Son worked on that boat, and your Son also had to lie to his Son because you had said that you couldn't afford to insure it, so we could not use it, and enjoy it last year. And, parent, my Son knows that you're a millionaire and can afford $165 too. So, keep the boat, and, send the damn bill over here when you receive it and we will pay for it so my kids can actually go out on the lake, in a boat, as the boat, was made and designed to do. I refuse to tell him that you can't afford that bill, again. Also, have a great Thanksgiving with my Father's own family that broke his heart, and caused him to lose the most important day, event, celebration of the year for him when they stole all of his only Sister's personal items, and also her car that everyone in the family knew, was to be given to HIM. They took it, and told him that it was inoperable, and unrepairable too. Then 2 weeks later they are driving it to Florida. So essentially, my Father's own family, destroyed his trust, hope, faith, and care for his entire family because of their actions, decisions, lies, behaviors, to steal from his Sister, and him too. My Father is the kindest, most sincere, genuine, caring, giving, thoughtful man that I even know. And, they offered him nothing but selfishness, greed, lies, misleading, inconsiderate, insensitive actions that they possibly could have and ruined his plans, hopes, enjoyment, happiness, at the day of Thanks that was the ONLY day he ever saw all 28 of them. He will never return. Hope you have a wonderful time with them, MOM.... I gave her, what she gives me. And, that was something good. I enjoyed every minute of it too.

I also told exactly the moment that I instantly stopped giving a shit about my X. I wondered why, I could care less about her, suddenly, after 10 years? I found it when I was cleaning out my email today. I had told her that I had written her a letter. (28) pages long, 3 hours to complete. I asked her for her address to send it as there is nothing abusive, harmful, blaming, insulting, upsetting in the whole thing. She said "no, I don't want it. You just keep it, or get rid of it"....There was the answer. I gave her the answer, to her question and the exact moment, the exact event, the exact time and day that anything that I felt for her, disappeared in an instant like a Genie. POOF! Gone...That, was something good. It made me feel good. I told her to go dig a hole.

That was on October 25th. I was deleting emails and found one from her, sent to me on the 19th of this month. It said "I was thinking about calling you and asking you if YOU had calmed down yet?"...What the f***?....If I was calmed down? She was the only one yelling on the 25th, and she was the one that denied, refused, disallowed, and didn't want a (28) page letter written to her...HAAHHAAHA!!! I can hardly wait to sit down at the Thanksgiving table with complete strangers and give thanks, that the most well educated, stupid, dumb, and idiotic person that I will ever have known in my life, is GONE....How grateful, I truly am. My Dad, and I. Thanksgiving together because of the actions, choices, decisions, and betrayals, of FAMILY. What a wonderful day this will be, and it is approaching quickly too. I can hardly wait.

So, I searched for, and I found, many things that were good, and made me feel good too. A real sense of accomplishment. Even though, I didn't leave this very chair. I am happy with today.

I also wish you all, the very best too. Find something good, or, as I did today. Just create something good all by yourself.

Blessings.

E-Man

[JPYL]

Hi everyone...i have recently started using essential oils myself for anxiety and depression and found it to be extremely helpful to get off of SSRIs. I have had many side effects on Celexa and found these to be great alternative and natural... if anyone wants more info id be happy to help!!!

[Enduronman]

Its a beautiful day in the neighborhood...

Well, I woke up. Took (20mg Ritalin XR) and also (15mg Oxycodone) and then may Dad came in here to wake me up. I was asleep in this chair. I asked him what time it was? It was 2 hours after I had got up. So, it is clearly obvious now that this (Fentanyl 50mcg) patch on my spine has caused my medication to help with ADD/Narcolepsy/Chronic Fatigue, useless, and ineffective to me now at all. I have to wait until the 11th of next month, to even correct this new and sudden issue. I have researched my other option and choice, understand what my Doc had suggested, and now will have no choice but to change something that had worked just fine for 5 1/2 years without thought, discussion, question. I have hope that the (Adderall XR) will do the trick, and actually allow me to stay awake, do something else besides sleep. It is a long time, until the 11th...(sigh)...

The compound bows and arrows that I had ordered finally arrived today, so that is a good thing. I now have something to do. And, my Dad has agreed to try it out with me to on Thanksgiving Day. I think it will be a good thing. Especially when Chloe finally gets out of jail in March. Something that we can both do, compete, practice, hobby, activity, entertainment, and cost 0 to do too. All, good.

Chloe called today and get to speak to her for awhile. She told me what she wanted for Christmas even though she won't be here. But, it isn't what I was going to get her. She is getting her own 380ACP handgun to carry, use, train with at the range with me. I have found the one I want too. Pretty nice, and I think she will love it also. This world is a crazy place and I usually carry 2, 9mm handguns but one of them is going in for repairs. I could not get it sighted in and I could make no more adjustments either. The other, tight, and where I aim, is what it hits. Spot on target, and is going to leave a mark should anyone receive that mark too. LOL!!

Hmm..Sent my X a text that I had unblocked her on Facebook and she could look at all my friends, all she wants too, because I do not care. That, was a good thing too. Chatted with a couple of friends on there today, they are doing well. Didn't hear one word back from my other parent, regarding my demands, and also how I felt about where she is choosing to spend the holiday, with my Fathers, family. That destroyed his holiday, his 1 day a year he looked forward too, and it has me pretty upset to think about that too. He is the kindest, most caring and thoughtful man, but, his family did what they did. He will never have that 1 day back, again.

Anyway, hope everyone is doing great!

E-Man

[NixonRulz]

Amazing sometimes that people can be so insensitive to one another. Even worse when your own family does it to each other

[Enduronman]

Took bags full of stuff my Dad got from the gas station so that I could actually stay awake. Its working, I am awake. Just wrote my Doctor a letter, and my daughter in jail a letter too. Told her that we miss her, and also told her exactly why we don't go to my Dad's giant Thanksgiving Day get togethers anymore. Because, they chose to be selfish, lie, cheat, steal, betray, your Gramps and my Dad. So, he said that he does not trust any of them anymore, and he will never return either. They stole his car. They stole, the car that his only sister said who she wanted it to be given too if she has to go into a nursing home or she passes away. Told him, it was beyond repair. Then, photos of her driving it to Florida less then 2 weeks later. Olds, less then 30,000 miles, there wasn't anything major wrong with that car as they said..worth about $7,000... Stole that, stole his one day to spend with all of them too. Thieves. Pathetic people...They will get theirs in the end....

Wrote a letter to my Doc because without her help, and real caring, I do not know how or where I would be now. Essentially, there are 3 people in my life right now that I know cares. Dad, Doc, Daughter. That's it. No one else. I am going to give thanks, for what, and who I have that cares about me. Everyone else, made their own decisions. They have been forgotten. Oh, and giving thanks to be out of that relationship where I was accused, blamed, yelled at, doubted, not trusted, and I was involved in the fictional stories that she would make up in her own mind too. I was a character, an actor, and I was there, and I did it too. What a sick, mentally disturbed, woman she was. So, so blessed that I am no longer having to listen to that shit all the time. Or, the same sentence repeated (29) times in a row too. "I know that you chat with, text, and **** other women"...When, in all reality, I was doing none of that. And, I never did **** any other woman in the whole 10 Nightmare either...that is what I am thankful for, not being there now. HOORAY!!! HHAAHA!!!

So, yes. A good day. Quiet. Got some letters written. Got my toys to go shoot. Got to talk to my daughter...all is well.

E-Man

[Im-Suffering]

dont forget that your extended family here at AF cares about you, and elsewhere too. Caring is not exclusive to 'family', and more often than not, you find those that care for you the most were just a short time ago, 'strangers'.

lots and lots of soul mates on this planet. and as you can see the friends who care utterly outweigh the few who should, but dont. maybe 50 to 1. Those are pretty damn good odds in your favor.

In all our favors.

[Dahila]

Damn we need the "like" button here, I want to sign under IMs post :))

[Im-Suffering]

Damn we need the "like" button here, I want to sign under IMs post :))

I love you girl, always will. :)

[Enduronman]

It is a real blessing to know, and to have people that I do know, really cares about me. Even if, I never see or visit you. People, it seems, don't always think the potential damage that will be done to others, before they allow greed and selfishness to take over and cause serious harm to others. Well, I spoke to my Dad about it last night and he said that it doesn't bother him in the slightest. He said its like I just flipped a switch, and the pain stopped. They were no longer impacting, affecting, influencing, him. It was really cool, great, and wonderful to hear that because I can do that too. I thought that I was the only one that could, until last night. He, passed it on, to me. It, is such a valuable gift and blessing to have. A real, useful, tool and versatile ability to have. I used it, on October 25th with someone else, in my life, and that person no longer mattered in the slightest. Why? Because that person saw no value, significance, or importance, in what I was offering them and told me that this person didn't want it so just get rid of it, or keep it...at that very moment, switch flipped, game over. I no longer cared at all, because they didn't care about me.

So, I woke up this morning and took (20mg Ritalin) and (15mg of Oxycodone) and apparently went right back to sleep in the chair again and my Dad woke me up 2 hours later. I took another (20mg Ritalin), and I guess I did the same thing again. He came in here and woke me up an hour later in the same chair...(I sent my MD/PCP a message and explained all this, that it hasn't worked since I got it on the 17th, that he keeps waking me 1 or 2 hours after I take it, and that I can't wait to actually correct this issue on the 11th too. With the (Adderall) stuff, and God I hope it really works too.) I had my Dad get some (Ginseng) to see if that would do something for me, and after 6 capsules it does a little and allows me to keep me eyes open for an hour then take 6 more. It is going to have to be, that way, until after the 11th because not being able to stay awake is frustrating as hell. *sigh*

Went outside, sat on a stool, and tired out the new compound bow and arrow idea, to just give me something to do that won't cause me more severe intense pain, or a disease flare up either. I did it, it is fun, and I got pretty good in just 25 tries. I think that having it, something to do out back that cost $0 for entertainment, is not hard on me, is an activity, maybe a hobby, is going to work out just fine. I just wish that my daughter wasn't in jail and could enjoy trying it with me.

I am going to make the best of Thanksgiving tomorrow, and celebrate that day with my Dad. The (1) person that I know cares, is honest, helpful, loving, and I am proud to be with him and also like him as well. That, is what I plan to give thanks for.

Hope your Thanksgiving Day celebrations are as wonderful as they can be too!!! Happy Thanksgiving friends!

E-Man :)

[NixonRulz]

Hope you had a kick ass Thanksgiving

Did you get a Bambi with that compound bow?

[JohnC]

Hey Eman, glad your still fighting the good fight. i haven't been on much myself and i don't do the FB thing anymore but when you said you were getting a cross bow i just thought i would tell you i have been a bow hunter for 30 years. Two deer this year but coyotes got to one before i did ( they ate a lot of it ) so i will try Monday to put another in freezer. Ohio gun season starts Monday. Peace to you my friend.
Hi Dahlia, Nixon, and IMS

[Im-Suffering]

Hey John, happy holidays

[JohnC]

Hey John, happy holidays

same to you Marc

[AliasEQ]

I just remembered something really funny, thought I'd share it here. Remember when Eman went off the forums, because his internet went down or something and Jessed started this myth that Eman was a pedophile irl. And almost everyone believed it. I don't know, I just randomly thought of that lol. Gave me a good laugh haha :D

Hope life is going better for you Chip! :) How's the puppy doing? Although, I'd imagine he's not a puppy anymore.

Also, to cheer you up:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ghh5yXlEaw

Starts at 4:25 :D

[NixonRulz]

I guess Eman is taking longer than expected to find something good since he has been AWOL after the big announcement

[Enduronman]

I have literally been asleep since Thanksgiving. The medication that I had taken for over 5 YEARS no longer worked to keep me awake since this other medicine that the Doc stuck on my back.

TODAY, I am finally awake and it's the friggin 14th of December. Unreal. I had to move over to another medication to try to get me up. It works, like a Champ! I haven't been up this long in weeks. Actually got to write my daughter a letter in jail, wrote another letter to a friend, and even tried to straighten up this room too. I think that this new medication is going to be my only real option, although I never wanted to go to this one. Oh well..things that we don't want or want to do happen ALL the time. I am just glad, to finally, be awake.

My Son is coming up in a few days, going to Christmas somewhere that I don't really want to but, as she placed her demand that my Dad and I attend, I placed my demand. A copy of her Will to assure that I own the home, cars, boats, and millions too. She said, "Ok"...I told my Doc that and she said that you just treated her the same way that she treated you and your kids, and she thought that was Ok?.. Yep. So, I am going to celebrate Christmas with my kids that aren't locked up, my Dad, a new friend, and also make it worth my while and get what I want too. My Insurance Policy that states, all her crap is mine. May has well treat selfishness, with selfishness I always say! YAY!!!

Everything else is going good. Going to actually see (2) MD's as ordered by the Social Security Admin at the beginning of the New Year too. So, it looks like EVERYTHING is working in my favor now. It's about time for it too!! I've been through enough bullshit, lost everything, and it is now time to rebuild, repair, restore my Life and I'm going to make it WAY WAY better then it was. It's really nice to lose certain things, and certain people too even though I couldn't see it at first. Now, I do. I see, feel, sense, that my Life will be stronger, better, happier, more secure, with little to no drama and stresses in it at all. Thank GOD.. :)

Listening to some of my favorite tunes now too, what more does one really need in Life?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2jdtvzUPG0


E-Man :)

[Enduronman]

I actually got a lot done I think. Wrote four letters, chatted with numerous friends, was able to stay awake and I'm just now tired so this new med seems to be the perfect fit for me so far. Hell, I may even try to go to the range, mall, ride, practice up with the bow tomorrow.

One of the letters was a demanded response from my daughter in jail. She asked if I had read her letters? Yes, but I had no idea that she had SO many questions to attend too. So, I did. Not real sure why one of the questions was as to whether she could have a 4 x 4 truck though? She really tried to sell it in the letter though! I already have 2 trucks, and we will have a 4 x 4 Jeep, and 6 other cars too so I'm not real sure about that one. Then she asked if she could have a dog too when we eventually move? She has NEVER taken care of (1) animal that she's ever been given so I just voted for a cat instead. She will NOT clean up dog crap all over the yard anyway. She has always talked about wanting a big GIANT Ford truck but, I think we have time to figure that one out. She won't be out for awhile. And, she already has her "Dream Car" which was a 2000 Honda Accord 2 dr V6 200HP sitting out there that she's never driven. Kids, are funny, when they aren't lying..BAAHHAAHA!! She has NEVER spoken words, vocally, to my face, that were all just made up lies, but I do recall someones child as doing that I just can't remember the exact situation. It's all gone, the memories, the event, I just recall being asked 13 times if you're calling my son a liar now, and saying yes 13 times, and then hearing the proof, fact, clarification, and validity of the Complete 7 Month Long Lie...LOL!!! I better quit typing because I have disposed of the rest, and buried it where it need be. 6' under.

Anyway, yes. What A Wonderful Life. I received my Christmas gift and blessing 2 months early. But, I still Celebrate it every, single, day. And, I will Celebrate that gift this Christmas as well. In a sense, I am a very, very happy man. Although, pain, suffering, misery aren't out of the question at times. It's a much different "kind" of misery now. The kind, that a pill will fix. NOTHING could have ever fixed the other ones. Except, to delete, erase, forget, bury, learn from the mistake, and move on in an actual forward direction. Something, I had not been able to do for a decade. Moving forward, is wonderful all in itself.

Hopes that everyone has a great day today!

Many blessings,
E-Man :)

[Enduronman]

Up and about, and able to stay awake. This is awesome! I may have slept for 4 hours or so, but there are others out there that do that nightly. Plus, I've slept since Nov 17th until yesterday anyway so I think I'm pretty well rested. LOL!!

Plan to do some more writing, ride the scooter as long as it isn't freezing and 60mph winds. Maybe shoot the bow for awhile too. Can't wait until my Son finally makes it up here. Last time he was here, where was I? Yep, asleep and could not wake up. Hell the Sheriff's even came in to take Chloe away too. NO MORE of that!

One thing, I will not be sitting in this chair for long. It killed my spine last night after about 5 hours. So, planning a trip to the Orthopedic Surgeon in the New Year. I can't deal with that, for the rest of my life. And I even have some (Fentanyl) patch on my spine too. Herniated disc apparently do NOT ever heal themselves. They would have in 4 months of laying down.

I hope that everyone has a wonderful day, and finds something good in it too.

The day, is what we make it I suppose.

E-Man :)

[Enduronman]

Not a bad day. Until, I tried to start my scooter. Kicked it 30 times, thought that Death was near. So, I gave up on that idea.

Wrote my daughter another letter. The letter, impacted me. It was about "friends". I had 4 good, close, friends and 2 of them I had known for over 25 years. I now have 1 close friend left, because the 3 others, chose to be (selfish). I always went out of my way for them, but, when it was time for them to go out of their way for me? They said the wrong things, did the wrong things, and I haven't spoken to any of them since. It REALLY made me wonder about (people) in General and the fact that selfish people, really don't even KNOW that they're selfish. But, I DO KNOW when I am. Another thing that sucks about being a "sensitive person" is that we actually care about other people. WE pay, selfish people, do not. They could care less. I even wasted the last 10 years of my life with a person that was just like that too. To stupid to even know when they were being selfish, insensitive, inconsiderate at all. Quite honestly, the most Well Educated, Stupid Person that I have ever met or known in my life. In school until age 26, but a Complete Idiot in all regards. Yes, the letter is still impacting me. But, at least this year at Christmas I will NOT be interrogated about a Christmas gift to anyone, as that person did last year. Sure her daughter was smoking pot, and trying to have sex, and lie, and all of the things that her Mother NEVER did, but to take that out on me was literally f***** up. Made me feel like shit, at Christmas. Man, am I glad that the Train Wreck of a woman is finally gone, and gone for good too. I do not miss her stanky ass feet either, trust me.

I did make it outside to shoot the bow for awhile, just for something to do. Wrapped a couple presents. Spoke to my daughter too. So, I guess today will do just fine. Looking forward to actually being able to stay awake and visit with my 6'4" 16 year old Son for Christmas too. This will be the 2nd time I've seen him. I seemed to have missed the entire time from him being 4'3" to now. Its weird to look up at him. He is a great boy though so this will be a great Holiday too. With NO stresses caused by selfish dumbasses also. HOORAY!!!

Going to do some more writing. Writing, is extremely helpful to get things off of my mind. Clear out all the bad, in with the good. Memories.

Blessings!

E-Man... :)

[cloudy black]

yes people suck at times it does seem to be a one way street!! i used to look after my friends pets at mostly short notice but when it came to looking after my cat that i had at the time, oh they were all way too busy, oh fish tales to it. yes we sensitive people can get taken for a ride.

but i wont let people play mind games with me, on the flip side, and maybe that's why i don't have any friends!! i sure don't need the hassle!!

well its great that your 6'4" tall lad is coming to visit you that's good he can put the decs up without the need of a ladder!!!

[Enduronman]

Yes, exactly. People that are born to be sensitive, considerate, and selfless, are the very people that fill these pages in this Forum. There are NO insensitive people here. That's what anxiety is. And, it truly is those of us that actually care about people, that get taken for the ride, ignored, and treated with selfishness.

I am going to play "role reversal" this New Year. And, treat everyone that I see, encounter, come into contact with, insensitivity. I think that it will build a very, very powerful mind to be able to play both roles. However, I will and still do feel sorry for those that were not gifted, blessed, and given, sensitivity.

Now, its supposed to be nearly 60 degrees here today so this is the day that I will try to get outside although my legs are killing me from trying to start that damn scooter yesterday when it was 38! HAAHA!! Its weird to even be seeing temps like this around here in December and so close to Christmas. But, may has well take advantage of it.

Have a great day!

E-Man :)

[Enduronman]

I can walk now! YAY!! Maybe, go try to start this stupid scooter now. Plus, it seems to be counterfeit NFL jersey sales day all over my Facebook wall!!! I am NOT an NFL player nor do I wish to pretend that I am!!

Enjoy this lovely day!

E-Man

[Dahila]

Eman:)).....................

[Enduronman]

Finding Good, when I'm not really Searching for Anything Good..Awesome!

I realized last night that last Christmas I was helping my X move into an apt. I was being kind, selfless, considerate. But, now since she and her weird kids are gone, I do NOT have to move her back out of that cat shit smelling shit hole! And I don't have to answer my kids when they ask me, "What is wrong with her kids?" because neither of them even knew how to really "work" and are better at just making up stories and words that aren't even true at all. Just good enough so that their mother would buy it, and that does not take much at all. Obviously, I was SO grateful and thankful yet again last night that I will not be lifting a thing, for that selfish woman! And it's supposed to rain for the next couple of days too. It was about this time, that she had to move out I believe. NOT ME!!!

Basically, all is well and better then I would have ever thought it could be now that she is gone. That makes her loss, the most precious and valuable Gift and Blessing that I could have ever been given...HOORAY!!

Hopes that you all have a wonderful Christmas and upcoming New Year too!

E-Man :)

[Dahila]

Hope you have a wonderful xmas as well , best wishes extend to your family;)

[Enduronman]

Hope you have a wonderful xmas as well , best wishes extend to your family;)

Thank you Dahl!

I had a most wonderful time this year! I invited my X wife of 10 years ago up. So, she brought my Son and came up. I told my Mom that she would be there, and everyone had such a great time, with no stress, no one continually brought up the past like my last X woman did ALL THE TIME, we were all so comfortable, and this was honestly the BEST Christmas Holiday that I have had in the last 10 years.

It just, all seemed to work, fit, feel right. I am SO glad not to be questioned, interrogated, blamed for having sex with every woman that I ever looked at, accused of everything to do with women for 10 years, told stories that Kim would make up in her own mind as if I was a character in her sickening stories. It was just a WAY different kind of Christmas, time, event, plans, company, and I give thanks everyday that Kim is gone, moved, and far, far away from me with all of her multiple mental issues. (Picking her skin to bleeding, making up stories, living in a fictional world, accusing, blaming, interrogating, low self esteem, insecure, and on and on)....She was a very, very disturbed woman. Glad, she is forever gone.

I actually enjoyed kissing, holding, hugging, being with, beside, sleeping with, my X wife more then I ever had the other women for 10 solid years. I slept well. Felt right. I still care about Lorna I guess..and she never said (1) word about the dumbass woman that ruined her life either. SO mature too..

The most memorable Christmas, in History...

Merry Christmas all!!

E-Man :)

[Dahila]

It is so awesome, to balance it out , I had the worst Xmas ever, no one cares about me but that's ok. I am very happy for you. I know what you mean about someone accusing you ............. when i meet my ex husband on my grandchild party it is always the same. He accuses me of things that never happened, but he is bipolar and he lives in his own reality. maybe your ex is living in different reality too:))

[Enduronman]

It's the most wonderful timeeeeeee of the year.... :)

What a simply amazing, memorable, Christmas Holiday followed by the fact that I did find something good. Now there was NOT ONE other thing, moment, event, that I could find that was, good. Basically, all of 2015 was a miserable mess. Created mostly by the mind of a mentally disturbed person that spent much of the time, creating things, that surely had to have happened, and then said person would convince themselves, that it did happen. Then, tell ME the story, and ask me about it? I have NO clue. YOU LIE!!! BAAAHA!!! No, your kids both do. Anyway, accused of always doing something wrong, and always accused of being with another woman. Even if, I couldn't walk. Yes, I DID waste 10 years. But....

My X wife came up, and before my eyes stood a woman that has a fully functional brain? How could this be?...She, created a Christmas, that I will NEVER forget..at 48 years old.

The most glorious, and beautiful gift, that I have been given in over 10 years...Thank you L.E.B.E.....HHHAAHA!!

E-Man :)

[Dahila]

It seems that you both are at peace and agreement, such nice gift for xmas:))

[Im-Suffering]

no one cares about me but that's ok.

I do.......

[Dahila]

IMS thank you,............:) You just put the smile back on my face, thank you so much

[Enduronman]

This is most assuredly a different type, kind, style, of world and life for me. The last 10 years had been filled with grief, animosity, despair, anger, accusations, blame, fictional stories, anxiety, stress, and other health issue related to the woman that I was with. She may be well educated, but, she is not smart in any way at all. It was a daily, constant, chronic, living hell.

When your wife or gf tells you (29) times in less than 1 hour that "I know you're texting, chatting with, and having sex with other women"...When in all reality you were doing none of those things at all, its best just to walk away and forget.

She was a terrible, horrible, insecure, insensitive, inconsiderate, thoughtless, senseless, airheaded, scatter brained train wreck of a person. May God have mercy on the next man in her life too.

I'm doing WAY better now. Finally beginning to move forward in life once again. Things are finally starting to happen, in a positive way, good things, happy times.

We don't always understand the meaning or purpose of our lives, our struggles, certain people involved in it, but it always tends to work out in the end...

Blessings,
E-Man :)

[jessed03]

Enduro's back!

[needtogetwell]

Where's the van????
Hi everyone!

[Dahila]

hi Ladies and gentlemen

[Sam K]

At the very least you do have a killer sense of humor, gotta love it. Comedy is the best remedy imo, sometimes when anxiety comes up I just gotta laugh knowing how stupid it is. Good luck man, I hate shots so i couldn't imagine what its like every other day

[RoderickLariviere]

Laughing is the best way to remove all your fears and overcome your anxiety.

[James Waide]

I found a Natural remedy for Anxiety that really works. CBD oil is a Natural remedy for Anxiety.
A month age we found a mint breath spray that has CBD oil in it.
The great thing about CBD is has many medical benefits and no side affects.1668

[James Waide]

I am coping with anxiety with the Natural pen. It has been a God Send.
I got tired of the "happy pills" and knew there had to be a all natural remedy for anxiety.
Try it 1683

[prince444]

Anxiety: Self help,Depression,Phobia,Disorder,Social anxiety,Fear (Road to True Happiness Book 1)
by Prince Jmal

I have a book on kindle that talks all about anxiety and if you need more info you can message me (:

[Enduronman]

Good morning all.

I haven't been around in quite sometime. Dealing with many different issues, events, circumstances, and ordeals that I somehow created yet when I ask what it was that I did or said, I was offered no words, hints, clues, explanations, or even a reply at all.

I have also learned over this past year that at least 90% of the people that I know, knew, meet, only care about themselves. A huge percentage of people that are selfish. To me, selfishness is vile. But it is the most common choice, over any other in the minds of most people.

I was also able to just close my Facebook account yesterday too. It will never again appear either. One less stress that I will need to even think about. Nor do I need or want too at all..

I was also texted by 2 women that I met some where and they both asked for money. Said they were starving and wondered if I could send them some? I blocked their numbers. Go beg somewhere else.

I was to have a visitor for the week also. I asked her to do something for me and her reply was "I'll do that when I have time, I'm busy now"..after all I had done as requested, or asked, when I was asked to do it. Her reply reminded me of the horrors I listened to for 10 years. This type of person takes care of things, on their own time, their own pace, their own speed, even if it is needed now. I wanted to throw up. I changed the plans, in an instant and I am glad that I did because I refuse to suffer another minute of my life with a person that is inconsiderate, insensitive, thoughtless, and of course selfish. She won't be coming back again. I made sure of that.

Everything else is going quite well. And I plan to change directions and plans immediately. Forgot the past, live for the day, have hope for a wonderful future..I do.

I wish you all well.

E-Man

[Enduronman]

Now this was an unexpected, and wonderful day.
Apparently, one of my old friends from Facebook kept my phone number and called me. I had chatted with her, but just briefly.
I sure as hell didn't expect her to call. She had the most unique name that I had ever seen, and she was born in Romania. But now in the States for 10 years.
We spoke for almost 2 hours. I haven't spoken to anyone on a phone for more than 10 minutes in 35 years. It, and she, were very interesting to say the least.
She told me all about herself and some of her story. I told her about myself, and some of the Horrors of the last 10 years or so. She was intrigued.
I asked her if maybe she would think about visiting when its hot out, and the pool is all ready to go? She said sure, she would like that. She wasn't interested in fishing though, but there's things to do.
Now that its uncovered, and the water is clearing. I think the timing will be perfect. She isn't to far away either and also looking for the same things that I am too. An actual Agreement.
A rational, logical, sensible, conversation. That took a little while to get used too after a decade of accusations, fights, yelling, doubt, fictional made up stories that I was a character in..I didn't know a thing about..LMAO!! Dear God, thank you. I thank him daily.
Its not to late, maybe I'll write her now. Sounds like a good plan.

Best wishes.

E-Man :)

[JohnC]

Good to see you back Eman! i do not write to much anymore, guess i am fighting my own issues as usual but i do check in every now and then.I closed my Facebook page a long time ago mostly got tired of so much personal stuff getting out there. Let me know how it goes with girl from Romania but it's to bad she wouldn't go fishing with you. That is my only regret in my current relationship is that my wife does not hunt or fish and i could hunt and fish every day. peace man
p.s. my pool is at its rim we got so much rain

[Dahila]

it is good to have you back, EMan, John;))

[Marie Lends]

Hello guys..

[veeraj]

Before marriage i felt some problems with me, but not able understand wats it about.

Post divorse I found lot about myself.. And now i need all urs help.

Symptoms -

When i do masturbation and go to wash my hands and p***s, later i find if my wash is not happened correct Or not, i mean all sperm from my body is washed properly or not. In case the washing doesnt happen the exactly way i want or somewhere i feel it has remained on my body parts or hands then that thing remains in my mind, untill i wash my hands and body parts again.
Or In case when washing doesnt happen correct and if i touch any object or things around me like pen, laptop, my shirt, door handles anything I feel My hands sperm got tranmitted to that thing or any object.
The next day if i touch it , i feel am again infected or my hands have those sperms still. My mind gets confuse. Slight imbalance in thoughts, later i try to wash my hands and all things that i feel have sperm touch on it. Also post divorce I had anxiety at its worst. M on medicine. that have reduced my anxiety symptoms. But i want to knw what problem i m facing as mentioned above from beginning???

[IsabelaMA]

Hi man,

I am impressed by you story as well as your attitude!
I am sorry you have have so many problems in life and I hope you can at least reduce you pain mentally and physically wise. No one should have to life with pain.
Keep it up!


Isabela

[knp]

I found a Natural remedy for Anxiety that really works. CBD oil is a Natural remedy for Anxiety.
A month age we found a mint breath spray that has CBD oil in it.
The great thing about CBD is has many medical benefits and no side affects.<img src="http://anxietyforum.net/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=1668"/>

Hello there, Recently I had a flu and after tamiflu I think my anxiety sky rocketed. Now I have irrational fear and severe anxiety. It so strong that even I could not accept job offer and had to decline. Please help. What damage my tamiflu has done that probably caused this anxiety. At last I might try Cbd oil. Can you help me with Cbd oil guide ? Can these cure my anxiety and fear ? Please help.

[veeraj]

Hi thanks a lot for this info. I will find further the benifits of this oil from
Internet. Can you plz tell me. . any blood test as such to find out anxiety
Disorder causes and its symtons in me.

[barbimay]

These are great posts. Is enduronman.still around?

[salvator here]

I love reading his old postings here too, as well as many postings form the 'old timers' (not talking age here of course, the pioneers of this forum so to speak)

[martin05]

Last time I spoke to Eman, he wasn't in the best of places. He was taking a strong painkiller for extreme pain that knocked him out for 22 hours each day. Hope he's doing better now.

[Enduronman]

Last time I spoke to Eman, he wasn't in the best of places. He was taking a strong painkiller for extreme pain that knocked him out for 22 hours each day. Hope he's doing better now.

OMG!!! I forgot how this even works
..E-Man trying to get into the house!!

Enduromania. :)

[Enduronman]

I have got to get on one of these computers!! Why is everything so tiny on my phone!!

Ok, which one is it going to be...A pile of them!

BRB!!

E-MAN….

[Enduronman]

Pill first, then pick one.
LMAO!!

ENDURONOMAN...:/

[JonB]

Hi Enduronman, it seems that you've been through hell! Have you looked into the ideas that emotional suppression can have damaging effects on the body. People like Dr John Sarno has done a lot of work with people on this. A really good book on this is the The Great Pain Deception.

[hellofriend22]

Hello, I can't possibly understand what you go through. But just know that someone me is rooting for you. I hope you the best in your future and please keep hope

[Enduronman]

The Mission is Nearly Complete. I knew it was, I just didn't know How HUGE The Threat that need be Removed actually was, until now 5 YEARS later...and the Rewards, although money had never really been something that I CARED about, it was a lesson that I had to learn by the Journey and Path not chosen by me, no prior warning yet there had never been one either, but..I have NEVER failed Him yet and whether I was crushed by an invisible 2000 pound chunk of Martian Stone, squeezed by a giant invisible vice, and feeling as if I was being Cremated alive...still wasn't enough to Prevent me from doing, being, as I was Created to be and to do..for ALL. The first check will arrive soon. Then I have a 3 month Vacation Period before I return to seek Redemption for all past, present, and no more beyond, me. So, I suppose if sitting on a pile of paper is what, how, why, so many others consider that as something I've never experienced, and never will, I can only find the true value of it to spread it around, like nurturing the field and Garden of our Lives...$? I already know what to expect from it, not the same as any other. God Bless you ALL....

ENDURING MAN UNTIL MY PLUG IS PULLED..;)

[Ponder]

Whatever works Enduro ... Since your handing it out ... https://image.ibb.co/iBqsrk/hand_out.gif

I bless u all. ;)

[ParanoidPenny]

Are you still active on this site?