Please make this hell stop..

[Huffel]

Hey guys,

I don't really know where to start this. I have been dealing with all kinds of andiety since I am 14 (just turned 22)(OCD, Depression, Panic Attacks) and I feel like I actually can't take it anymore.. At the moment I am dealing with constant anxiety and waiting for the next panic attack. The feeling itself is killing me. I am not scared of dieing etc during a panic attack. The strong feeling that sometimes seems dangerous and sometimes appealing is that if I sat an end to this the suffering would finally be over. This feeling is so bad that it actually makes me want to kill myself, how horrible is that?! I just want it to stop. I am taking citalopram and in case of emergency I have ativan but I rearly use it. I am in therapy and working hard with meditation etc but I feel like I hit rock bottom just a bit too often.. The big scary thing for me is pain and my therapist pointed out that I have issues with control (which I need to have all the time)...
Please give me your thoughts and input on what to do..

[alankay]

Stick with therapist. Work to see if you can find a reason for your anxiety and address it if you can.
Are you on a good dose of the citalopram? OCD type anxiety often needs the max dose. Alankay

[Huffel]

Yeah my therapist is a keeper. Maybe she could be my Mum in another life ;) Well the OCD made room for anxiety attacks followed by weeks of depression. I am taking 30 mg of Citalopram at the moment and I forgot to mention that I take 25 mg of Quetapin at night. I had a really horrible experience in Italy nearly dieing in a hospital because of Samonella and since then the slightest sign of tummy trouble or pain in it sends me spinning. Thanks so much for reading my post and taking your time to reply.

[mrseyeore]

What are your panic attacks like? I've been dealing with them only a short time and cannot imagine if it goes on for years, but it seems like the citalopram may not be working enough for you. I have the constant anxiety too, especially in public places and the entire time I'm at work. I'm afraid of melting down unexpectedly or not being able to handle the high stress of my job.