Survival methods...?

[nothing]

Hi...I really can't stand my brother and his annoying gf, he is trying to control my life and way of living, they won't even give me my medication for anxiety, cuz they don't believe in things like anxiety or meds....?? I also hate living with my controlling neurotic mother and alcoholic father back home.
I just desperately need to get away from my dysfunctional family in order to be a better and healthier person. I should mention that I am not English( Im European) and just came to study to UK (3-4 years). What job can I get here so I could live on my own (sharing kitchen,toilet etc. with 5 - 6 other people)?? I could get a part time job, but I can't go into customer service,cuz of my bad english, besides that I get panic attacks when I need to talk to other people ( shaking, trembling, sweating, racing heart etc.). So my options are cleaning, stockroom an so on..? But when they want to interview you for a job employees would call and I can't even control my anxiety on the phone I can't even answer it because I know my english is bad Im terrified to speak english I just don't know how to get a job here in UK, I have no money to buy meds, Im scared to go alone to see doc. and Im terrified to do anything in here by myself, maybe I should get out of here then, but then again I have nowhere to go Im not going back to my mother who hates me more than anything..?
Im a student here, but you dont' have to talk at all in uni, most days I don't even say a word (and Im fine with that). I can't overcome this issue cuz I have 0 confidence. Meds would help I suppose, but I have no money. What am I supposed to do, how on earth do I survive in here? Who can I turn to? Can I get a job with anxiety so severe? Please, please help :(

[jessed03]

Hey buddy,

What City are you in? I'm in London.

Perhaps English is more of a worry to you than it needs to be? I've got to be honest, from your post, I wouldn't know English wasn't your first language. I think you write really well, and I know speaking is easier than writing for most people.

Are you from the EU? If so, you don't need money. You can get meds free on prescription.

You have a lot of fear, so removing the fear and negative talk in your mind is gonna help a LOT. Can you read and understand most English ok? I'll recommend a really cheap book that will help.

As for work: anything away from people will help, but it doesn't sound like it can happen until your anxiety is under control. That really needs to happen before you can move on.

It will happen too. Once you do some work on it, using a book, it will help a LOT and give you confidence to do things, like apply for jobs, and visit the doctor.

Right now your confidence comes probably because of the way your family treated you, rather than because you aren't good enough, or you're messed up. I think you can make it work.

[nothing]

thank you...Im in London too.. I went to GP with my brother (he said he will never go there again and he didn't buy the meds) so he prescribed citalopram for 7 pounds. You can only get free meds If you:
are 60 or over
are under 16
are 16-18 and in full-time education ( Im 19..)
are pregnant or have had a baby in the previous 12 months and have a valid maternity exemption certificate (MatEx)
have a specified medical condition and have a valid medical exemption certificate (MedEx)
have a continuing physical disability that prevents you from going out without help from another person and have a valid MedEx
hold a valid war pension exemption certificate and the prescription is for your accepted disability
are an NHS inpatient.
That's exactly what my GP told me... :/ What's that book called..?

[jessed03]

Oh yeah, there's the small charge for picking up the prescription. Don't you have any available money at all? What do you do with all student loans and grants and stuff? Is there no money left for other stuff?

The book is called 'the anxiety and phobia workbook', it will help you a lot, but if you don't have much money I guess you can't buy it? Your doctor can give you free therapy if you go him/her, but you say you are scared. You could write things down on a piece of paper and take it with you to show your doctor. That's ok. People do that, and that way you don't have to talk.

Where are you from originally?

[nothing]

My mother SOMETIMES sends me 100 pound and she thinks Im gonna be fine with that for a month or two , actually she can't send any more money cuz we are poor and I understand that. And I use that money for food and public transport and materials I need for my studies( Im doing Art..)- actually there isn't enough money for materials so I just use what I have or ask teacher , but I feel bad and shamed of doing that and not being able to bring camera or print my CCS exercises on time. First of all I only get student loan for my studies ( Im doing extended degree,currently in year 0) and I don't get anything else. If your talking about Maintenance Loan, Part-time and EU students and students aged 60 and over can’t apply, Special Support Grant - also can't apply. But yes home students get grants and other financial support, I don't. I tried to open student account to get overdraft from UK bank, but you have to be a resident in UK for the last 3 years ( I came here like 4 months ago)... I will try to apply to access to learning fund, but I have to write personal statement and with my english I can't even write a proper formal statement, but I will try to apply.....it might take 4 or more months to process my application...

I prefer not to tell you my nationality, cuz I don't want you to think that people from my country are all uneducated and can't speak proper english...
I will look for that book in my uni library.. thanks anyway..

[jessed03]

why would I think that somebody doing a uni degree and writing long replies is uneducated and can't speak English ;)

But it's ok, you don't have to tell me. Things sound hard for international students. I thought maybe with the EU agreements that maybe they gave more help to internationals students, but money sounds very tight.

I don't think you will find that book in your library, but you can look for any book about CBT. It's behavioural therapy you can do yourself at home.

If you were really desperate to get a prescription, there are some naughty tricks people use. It costs £7 to get a prescription, and you don't have that. If you go to the doctor and say you have bad allergies, or stomach pains, they will prescribe you some medicine for that. You can then eBay the medicine, for around £15, pay the £7 prescription charge, and keep your antidepressant for free. It sells for quite an expensive amount.

You would also have money left to buy a book.

I know it isn't honest etc etc, but if you're desperate, then, it's something I did once to get a prescription, when I had 0 money in my bank account and was having panic attacks. You'd have enough to get your medicine, and buy the book for £10.

Once your anxiety is under control, getting a job and talking to people will be MUCH MUCH easier. Then you can move out.

I hope things work out for you, whatever you choose to do. There are lots of opportunities in the UK, don't be afraid to stand up and take them, just because your family is dysfunctional, you don't deserve that too.

[nothing]

Thank you for your support and advice, I appreciate it

[jessed03]

You're welcome, nothing.