advice needed please

[newbie87]

hiya im looking for some advice here is the problem

im a 27 year old man and i cant go anywhere on my own i always have to have someone with me as i feel everyone is watching me and it makes me really anxious and my heart beats so fast my breathing goes funny.
I cant make or recieve any phone calls incase its someone i dont know and they start asking questions or i phone somewhere and have to ask them questions i just dont have the confidence to do that for the same reasons above my breathing is really fast i can feel my heart beating in my chest.
I cannot take my children to school on my own incase people try and talk to me.
I hate going to the shop queing up this is horrible i shake and act really strange even tho i know nothing is going to happen its a pain.
I literary cant do anything on my own i have to go and sign on every 2 weeks and i get so nervous i shake breath funny and feel like my heart is going to pop because i know the advisor is going to ask questions and to top it off they put me on courses which i have to attend or my jsa will be stopped.
I have always been a nervous person since i was little but i think this is getting worse and my girlfriend of 10years has also noticed a change but keeps putting me in awkard positions like sending me to the shop or taking the dog out when she knows i cant and it feels like she dosent care but i know she does she just wants me to be normal and dosent understand what it is like to be me i guess.
i have been to see the gp after the partner finally got me to go after 6 years as i cant go to appointments or anything and he gave me some antidepressants and sleeping tablets as im only sleeping a max of 3 hours a night and have been for about 6 years but does this get any better as i have lost all of my friends from becoming so unsociable and just sat in all the time unless im nagged at so much i have to leave? and is there any help i can get with the jsa and stop them putting me on these courses were i fell so uncomfortable i dont go and have my money stopped i just think that some people think im faking and dont understand
sorry for the long post .

[jessed03]

Wow, anxiety has you pretty caught up, doesn't it. Life doesn't sound fun for you right now I mean, you should be able to make a lot of headway with this. You'll take an approach a lot of people with agoraphobia take, or people with phobias take, and really clean out your mind of all the negative stuff happening in there, replace it with some good stuff, and very slowly, little by little, de-sensitize yourself to this stuff that bothers you. It's usually a very effective method that has helped millions of people.

The anti-depressants, sure, they'll take the edge off of it... quite a bit... But the big changes will only come with therapy, I feel. I think that's gotta be number one priority, as that's gonna be what gets you moving again in life. I don't remember reading, were you offered therapy by your GP? If not, it's real, real important to go back at some point pretty soon and request it.

I don't wanna recommend a good book, or anything, as I do think therapy is the best way of tackling this. Someone who can make a program that best suits your needs, somebody who can meet you, and judge what best will fit you. If you do that, after a year, you should be much more active, and relaxed!

I know how frustrating it can be with nobody really understanding, especially the job centre. If you had a leg missing they'd still doubt you were telling the truth, so when it comes to mental stuff, it's even worse! Hang in though things should get better once the ball gets rolling! You could see how long your GP will give you a sick note for, so that you can claim some kind of incapacity benefit. Usually it's not for long though, but it depends how bad your GP sees your problem is.

[alankay]

This is Social Anxiety and maybe some GAD(General Anxiety) IMHO. I might ask about a beta blocker like atenolol(50mg) if racing heart is the main issue or propranolol(30-40 mg to start) if tremor/shaking/sweating also is an issue. Beta blockers are often used for Social Anxiety(I use propranolol, 20-40mg).
I would give an antidepressant a fair trial of at least 2 months. These will help you from being over self conscious but results will vary with the dose and exact med. I use prozac 20mgs as it seems to help me with panic and Social Anxiety.
I have been there and you can get much better. Talking to a therapist may also help a great deal. Many are effected by SA. PM me any time. Alankay

[newbie87]

Thanks for replying the strain this causes on my relationship is unreal i want to work just cannot bear meeting new people i will freak out and act strange.I will have to book in with the gp again and see how that goes the problem i have is i am not very good at talking to people and dont come across propley but sat behind a pc screen is totally different maybe my partner could talk for me its just totally embarrising that i cant do it on my own and i can see my partner gets stressed with it all bless her.forgot to add i also hide away when any of her freinds or family come over and the same with my childrens partys i hide away so i dont have to try and talk to anyone but then people just think im ignorant.

[jessed03]

I can imagine... life sounds really hard for you right now. Maybe buy her some chocolates or something as a thank you, lol. For getting stuck in and helping over the last few years!

Does she just help, or is she your safe person? Meaning is it just her you like around helping out, or is it just people you're close with in general, like family?

Anyway, if you want, you can type out what's bothering you, make a list, or write something out in full, and give it to your doctor, fully explaining how you're struggling. Lots of people here have done that, it's an accepted thing to do. Cos yeah, like you said, you always seem to mis say things in that doctors room. You never manage to communicate at the best of times. At least if it's on paper, he/she may see the full extent of how it's making you miserable.

If they were to see it written down, and you said you were going to try the medications, and wanted therapy, they may write you off sick for a fair amount of time, to give you a chance to recover. It all depends on the doctor really. At least then you wouldn't have to sign on, explain yourself, and go on all of those courses they send you on. Worth a try.

It might also be worth messaging Alankay (you need 10 posts first), seeing as he's been there, got the tshirt, and seems to be doing pretty darn we'll now!