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View Full Version : Birthday wed, suicidal, sick of feeling this way



StaceyK
11-18-2013, 08:20 AM
I'm at the end of my tether. Docs day it's anxiety but I've been feeling physically shit for over 2 months now. From mid sep to end Oct it was tension headaches, now it's stomach discomfort that I've had for over 2 weeks. Feel nausea, knots , off food and it's my 32nd birthday wed and I feel so sad and that I will never feel better. I've just started CBT, had one session but I think my thoughts surrounding my Health anxiety are too intrinsic and strong to change. I'm terrified that. Have stomach or ovarian cancer as stomach trouble, appetite and weight loss are all signs. I just want to end this pain and don't know how long I can go on ;( ;(

alankay
11-18-2013, 09:28 AM
Keep up with the CBT and see a pdoc if you still are not feeling better. Alankay

StaceyK
11-18-2013, 09:38 AM
Have you done CBT ?

nf1234
11-19-2013, 01:35 AM
First things first do no google your symptoms. Anxiety can cause all the symptoms your experiences. Stomach issues and anxiety go hand and hand for me. Things will get better I promise! We have all been where you are. In the darkest of dark. I promise you there is light at the end of the tunnel even if you can't see it now. Keep perusing solutions. If your not happy with your docs diagnosis, see a new doc. Have you looked into any natural alternatives to help with your anxiety?

jessed03
11-19-2013, 02:08 AM
First things first do no google your symptoms. Anxiety can cause all the symptoms your experiences. Stomach issues and anxiety go hand and hand for me. Things will get better I promise! We have all been where you are. In the darkest of dark. I promise you there is light at the end of the tunnel even if you can't see it now. Keep perusing solutions. If your not happy with your docs diagnosis, see a new doc. Have you looked into any natural alternatives to help with your anxiety?

Yeah, not googling is really important. If you have a thirst for knowledge, or an itch to read something and learn more, a book about healthy living, or a dedicated anxiety book will be easier on your mind and spirit.

I wanted to quote nf1234s post, as it's true, it really does get easier. Even when it feels INCREDIBLY bleak, and hopeless, things do change. Remember, it's part OF the illness to make you feel this way, and not just your reaction to the illness. It's anxiety, coupled in with depression; of course you'll doubt things, of course you'll feel pessimistic at times, it wouldn't be anxiety/depression if it didn't make you feel that way.

I wish I could copy and paste some of the old messages I had in my inbox, from people who said those very words... 'I can't see me getting better', who are now working jobs they enjoy, who have found love, travelled, gone back to college, had children, etc... Virtually everybody that comes through here, doubts they will get better. It's just too hard to believe at times.

It's a feeling that comes with the territory.

2 months sadly isn't a long time when tackling anxiety. It took me 4 months before I even got out of bed again, or managed to allow myself to be left alone. It takes a long time for your mind to understand what's happening, and for you to learn how to deal with what's happening.

But little by little you can go really far. You put one technique on top of one change, and soon things are a little better, and you just keep building.

I hope you manage to do something cool on your birthday! Even if it's just eating some ice cream in bed, watching your favourite show!

Feel better soon :)

StaceyK
11-19-2013, 07:14 AM
[QUOTE="jessed03;128933"] Yeah, not googling is really important. If you have a thirst for knowledge, or an itch to read something and learn more, a book about healthy living, or a dedicated anxiety book will be easier on your mind and spirit. I wanted to quote nf1234s post, as it's true, it really does get easier. Even when it feels INCREDIBLY bleak, and hopeless, things do change. Remember, it's part OF the illness to make you feel this way, and not just your reaction to the illness. It's anxiety, coupled in with depression; of course you'll doubt things, of course you'll feel pessimistic at times, it wouldn't be anxiety/depression if it didn't make you feel that way. I wish I could copy and paste some of the old messages I had in my inbox, from people who said those very words... 'I can't see me getting better', who are now working jobs they enjoy, who have found love, travelled, gone back to college, had children, etc... Virtually everybody that comes through here, doubts they will get better. It's just too hard to believe at times. It's a feeling that comes with the territory. 2 months sadly isn't a long time when tackling anxiety. It took me 4 months before I even got out of bed again, or managed to allow myself to be left alone. It takes a long time for your mind to understand what's happening, and for you to learn how to deal with what's happening. But little by little you can go really far. You put one technique on top of one change, and soon things are a little better, and you just keep building. I hope you manage to do something cool on your birthday! Even if it's just eating some ice cream in bed, watching your favourite show! Feel better soon :)

Thanks guys for taking the time to reply and offer advice. God, 4 months is a long time. Did you have appetite problems too? What was it that 'cured' you in the end?

Any Inspirational stories would be great to hear xx

StaceyK
11-19-2013, 07:16 AM
Thanks guys - very kind of you to reply xxx

trinidiva
11-19-2013, 07:35 AM
Yeah, not googling is really important. If you have a thirst for knowledge, or an itch to read something and learn more, a book about healthy living, or a dedicated anxiety book will be easier on your mind and spirit.

I wanted to quote nf1234s post, as it's true, it really does get easier. Even when it feels INCREDIBLY bleak, and hopeless, things do change. Remember, it's part OF the illness to make you feel this way, and not just your reaction to the illness. It's anxiety, coupled in with depression; of course you'll doubt things, of course you'll feel pessimistic at times, it wouldn't be anxiety/depression if it didn't make you feel that way.

I wish I could copy and paste some of the old messages I had in my inbox, from people who said those very words... 'I can't see me getting better', who are now working jobs they enjoy, who have found love, travelled, gone back to college, had children, etc... Virtually everybody that comes through here, doubts they will get better. It's just too hard to believe at times.

It's a feeling that comes with the territory.

2 months sadly isn't a long time when tackling anxiety. It took me 4 months before I even got out of bed again, or managed to allow myself to be left alone. It takes a long time for your mind to understand what's happening, and for you to learn how to deal with what's happening.

But little by little you can go really far. You put one technique on top of one change, and soon things are a little better, and you just keep building.

I hope you manage to do something cool on your birthday! Even if it's just eating some ice cream in bed, watching your favourite show!

Feel better soon :)

Excellent advice. He's absolutely right. You got to fight this thing.....and you will see improvement, I promise you. Even when you get knocked down you have to dust yourself and keep working to get better.

nf1234
11-19-2013, 12:55 PM
Stacey what worked for me personally was tackling it from a nutritional standpoint. I found this book called The Mood Cure by Julia Ross. I bought it and started implementing some of the things in it and it really has been night and day for me. I found out I was low in some things like Vitamin D and B12 as well as Ferritin. I also realized how horrible my diet was and how certain foods can actually cause anxiety. Now ive cut out the sugar and high glycemic foods. Im sticking to lots of protein, veggies, and good low glycemic complex carbs. No caffeine either. I make sure not to put any unnecessary stress on myself when possible and try to get plenty of rest. Getting some excersie and sunlight daily really helps as well as social interaction. I know sometimes its hard to be social with anxiety but it really makes such a difference in my moods. As you start to feel better you start challenging yourself and pushing yourself little by little out of your comfort zone. It makes you stronger and strong each time and you feel more comfortable doing things. The only med ive ever taken has been Klonapin but only at night and very sparingly. When I was at my worst I took it maybe 2-3 nights a week just to sleep. Now I maybe use it 1 or 2 nights a month. I haven't seen any professionals even tho I probably should have and that might be just what I need to finally end this anxious point in my life. I know everyone has their own beliefs but I can tell you right now that I wouldn't be where I'm at today if it weren't for my relationship with God. He has been the most instrumental part of this process with me. I would say I am about 90% better just from doing the things above. I really really recommend the book. Its packed full of info about diet, testing, supplements, and success stories. I can recommend supplements to you if you want to know more. I better life is out there you just have to keep moving and looking forward. If one thing doesn't work for you then move on to the next. Everyone is weird differently and you will find out what makes you feel better with time.

Hope that helps