Anxiety when out

[thehobshit]

Hi, I'm new, and where I suppose this would be a great place to discuss my anxieties as a whole I am currently in need of some short term advice. I agreed somewhat unknowingly to go to a concert with my closest friend. My anxiety takes effect of my vision and other such things and certain situations are worse than others. At first I thought I could just ignore it and deal with it on the night - the more I think about being in such a loud, claustrophobic environment the more I'm going to psych myself out. However our arranged lift there pulled out and when faced with having to get a train and tube (the last time I got a train I felt like it messed with my head a bit) and it really panicked me. I feel like I'm going to spend so long before hand worrying and being aware of it that I will definitely suffer during it as opposed to having a certain level of comfort on the way there. I know the obvious answer is "just don't go then" but this is so important to my friend and my anxiety already causes me enough problems and I feel like it also might be fine or if I continue to just not do things I'll end up never leaving my home. (I also can't really afford the travel and accepting money stresses me out and have a full day before hand and find that it get's worse when I'm tired, which I get very quickly). It has gotten a lot better but I don't want to set myself back. I know deep inside that I couldn't face letting my friend down so I would really like some advice as to what I could do or from anybody who's been in the situation themselves. Apologies for going on like this but it's in a few days time :-(

(I hope you're having a lovely day anyway)

[NeverToo...Fear]

Anxiety aside, are you looking forward to this event as much as your friend? I don't think you should not go, rather you should face the anxiety and go just to prove to it that you can handle this. But that's hard in itself, isn't it? Especially the days leading up to it. Sooo much time to think about it--which is one of the worst parts. Then there's that pesky issue of not being able to afford the travel which is a real problem I would think.. not trying to give you an excuse to back out, I'm really on the side that you should go, but it would be easier if you could minimize the amount of stress as much as possible. And does your friend know about your anxiety? It might help if they understood and were more understanding of you. Support really helps when you have to go to event such as this. And afterwards when you survive this event, you will feel better and stronger. And improving is always a lovely thing..Good luck! :)

[thehobshit]

Thank you so much that was lovely advice :-) My friend does know but it upsets her very much when it get's in my way or she sees me when it's bad. She is very understanding but I also think she obviously can't completely get it so there are going to be times when it annoys her or I'm not going to explain myself properly (or the worst which is ruin it for her). I do want to go with her and I'm going to try and look at it as positively as I can otherwise I'm doomed to fail. Thank you so much again :))

[casstar01]

Hello thehobshit, I'm new here too, I have severe social anxiety disorder as well as generalized anxiety disorder, and used to suffer with agoraphobia, panic disorder, and OCD!! I was just reading through people's questions and answers hoping to find something helpful or hopeful. And I saw yours. I just wanted to say that I think it's really courageous and strong of you to decide to push yourself through the anxiety and go anyway! It's so easy to just do what is comfortable and easy for us, but that only keeps us stuck in our world of anxiety. We can't get better if we don't push ourselves out of the comfort zone and learn new coping skills. Plus as you said you don't want to stay home and then eventually never go out. That is really smart, that was exactly how my agoraphobia really began. By then I was too scared to leave. Anyway I'm rambling. I just wanted to give you some encouragement and say I thought you were making a good and brave choice!! Hope you have a great time!! Sincerely, casstar01

[NeverToo...Fear]

Thank you so much that was lovely advice :-) My friend does know but it upsets her very much when it get's in my way or she sees me when it's bad. She is very understanding but I also think she obviously can't completely get it so there are going to be times when it annoys her or I'm not going to explain myself properly (or the worst which is ruin it for her). I do want to go with her and I'm going to try and look at it as positively as I can otherwise I'm doomed to fail. Thank you so much again :))

You're welcome Hob.. :)

It's difficult when our anxieties affect other people in our lives. It really does help when they are understanding, but at the same time, it's frustrating for both parties when they can't fully relate...anyways, I'm glad you are taking a positive attitude. Tell anxiety to f**k off, right? :P

Hey, if you want, let us know how it goes! Hopefully it will be some fun!

[thehobshit]

You're both so kind. I'm really not as strong as I'd like to think and it's true that I want to battle it more than anything but a lot of it is down to somepeople close to me telling me to suck it up or not be pathetic/crazy. I've not slept the past few nights and where it could be my current work load I just hope that it's not this. I hope I do decide to bite the bullet and if I do (or if I don't) I'll tell you how it went (hopefully completely fine, maybe even great) Best wishes to the both of you!!!!:)

[casstar01]

I really hope you decide you will be able to handle going too! I would love to know either way If you do or don't make it. It really is hard. I always appreciate it when people give me encouraging words, but when it turns into a "just get over it" type of thing there is nothing more annoying or hurtful because people just can't possibly understand how hard or terrifying anxiety is! So even if you can't make it, know at least that you ate trying and doing what you can when you can. And that is something to give yourself credit for :) because this is difficult stuff!! ;)