just tired of it

[doingmybest]

Can I just tell everyoe how tired I am of this anxiety day in and day out? Every day practically it is something different. If it isn't tingling in my fingers, its heart palpitations, or a twitching face, or floaters, the list goes on and on. Some days I feel pretty normal but most days I don't. I can honestly say that hardly 5 minutes goes by without me thinking about some horrible condition I probably have.

My husband, friends, family, doctors are so tired of hearing this garbage from me. No one is more tired of hearing it though than me. I feel like I do need help but my insurance doesn't cover therapy and I'm afraid of meds because of the horror stories I've read about withdrawal. So what to do? Some times it's hard to imagine the rest of my life being like this. Why can't I just let these sensations go like 95% of the population?

I used to be so together. It just makes me sad that now I'm not.

[setler]

Hun, sometimes we find ourselves in low places, and even though that is a challenge that most people won't have to face, it doesn't mean there is something worse about you as a person. You are so much stronger for having survived this long. I hope you can come to terms with it and go easier on yourself, but I know how hard it can be. It took me a good bit of time to accept the condition (calling it an illness or disability makes it seem like something negative). One must try to find the diamond among the dirt.

I do hope that you can either find therapy help or medication. If you are scared about withdrawal symptoms, I would say that your main concern should be to heal now and get to a stable position, and then you can worry about coming off the medication if that is what you decide to do. Personally, I will probably be on some antidepressant for the rest of my life... and I have no problem with it :D

Hang in there. If you want to do some reading, check out the "Anxiety and Phobia Workbook"

[doingmybest]

Thank you for your kind words. It helps to know that I'm not the only one. I took a mental health class recently and our instructor said that everyone goes back and forth on the scale from mentally healthy to mentally unhealthy. At the time I felt so healthy and now I'm on the other side and it is hard to admit sometimes. But you're right, I just need to get myself at a place in which I feel better and worry about everything else later. I just wish more people could understand anxiety and realize that this isn't "all in my head."

Thank you again for your help. This site has been a real blessing to me. I appreciate it a lot. :)