Support needed, please.

[defmunel]

I've had this mole on my left breast for quite a while, but it seemed to be getting bigger, so I went to the derm this morning to have it looked at. His first words were, "it looks bad". Omg. Not the reaction I was expecting. Now I have to wait 2 weeks for the results to come back. This will be a very long 2 weeks. I'm trying to stay positive, but it's hard.

I've also been having this bruised feeling in my jaw for a few days. Now I'm worried that it's the first sign of spread cancer.

I'm 32 weeks pregnant, young 30, and not ready for this.

Please help.

[jessed03]

Shit, he said that?! That's not the most encouraging of things to hear, is it.

I mean, at least you've done the best thing, caught it when it looked a problem, got it checked by a pro. I guess that's all you gotta keep saying to yourself for now 'I'm doing the absolute best that I can'. I think that's why we worry ya know, cos we wanna be doing MORE, but, you're doing all you can do, the problem is in the right professional hands so, hopefully it will be a small comfort to you when the worrying thoughts come in.

Terrible timing isn't it, what with the baby. I mean, a lot of these things come back fine, so hopefully you can just keep busy and the two weeks will pass kinda quickly and you'll know where you're at with it.

Good luck, obviously. Make sure you tell us what the outcome is defmunel!

[tailspin]

Hi defmunel, I'm sorry to hear you are stressing about your mole, and about what the dermatologist said. That was definitely a very insensitive remark that she made. Honestly though, if the mole does turn out to be an early skin cancer, removing it should immediately cure this problem. Skin cancer is very common here in California and it is probably the most benign cancer you can get (or certainly one of the most benign). The cure rate is incredibly high. The procedure to remove the mole is generally very quick and it's done on an outpatient basis. You shouldn't need general anesthesia or anything like that.

Anyhow, hopefully the biopsy will come back fine, but I just wanted to reassure you that, even if the mole is an early skin cancer, skin cancer is very easily treated and it has a very, very high cure rate.

Wishing you all the very best. Please let us know how you are doing.

[defmunel]

Thanks guys.

I'm not sure what he meant by "it looks bad". I think he tried to clarify, because he could tell I was distraught by hearing that. He then said, "it looks bad in the sense that it's not a normal good mole, but an abnormal bad mole". Even still, the words hit hard.

He took a biopsy of the mole, and removed it as deep as he saw it, which was at the dermis layer. I don't know if that's good or bad.

He also said that some people just produce irregular moles, kind of like a signature, and that they're benign irregulars. I had another irregular mole removed 6 mo ago, and that one was benign. He also told me that during pregnancy, moles can grow, and darken, which is my case. He didn't say one way or another if it was melanoma or just abnormal mole. But he also said "they'll stage it." Which sounds like melanoma to me.

You're right, there's nothing more I can do but wait. I've done all I can. The rest is not up to me. I am worried, scared.... I just feel like my last 4 years of life has been trying to prevent things like this happening, and I guess I wasted those years.

Tailspin, melanoma runs in my family. Grandpa had it, and basal cell carcinoma runs in my moms side of the family. This mole was definitely not a basal cell kind. It's either melanoma, or benign irregular.

It hits hard mostly because I've lost two close friends to melanoma. I don't want to be in that statistic.

So now I wait. I'd rather it not be in fear.

[tailspin]

I'm so sorry you have lost a couple of very close friends to melanoma, defmunel! That is incredibly sad and I completely understand why your anxiety is very high around this subject. I worry a lot about cancer too. Not necessarily skin cancer - though I do have some irregular moles and I also have some family history of skin cancer - mainly I worry about breast cancer and ovarian cancer. Again, there is family history there. I really know how hard it is not to worry about these things. But, as you say, you are young and healthy and so the chances really are very high that you are fine. It's good to hear that you've already had an irregular mole removed and that it was benign. That's another very good sign. Hopefully this will be the case with the current mole you are worrying about too. I really hope all is well!

[trinidiva]

Thanks guys.

I'm not sure what he meant by "it looks bad". I think he tried to clarify, because he could tell I was distraught by hearing that. He then said, "it looks bad in the sense that it's not a normal good mole, but an abnormal bad mole". Even still, the words hit hard.

He took a biopsy of the mole, and removed it as deep as he saw it, which was at the dermis layer. I don't know if that's good or bad.

He also said that some people just produce irregular moles, kind of like a signature, and that they're benign irregulars. I had another irregular mole removed 6 mo ago, and that one was benign. He also told me that during pregnancy, moles can grow, and darken, which is my case. He didn't say one way or another if it was melanoma or just abnormal mole. But he also said "they'll stage it." Which sounds like melanoma to me.

You're right, there's nothing more I can do but wait. I've done all I can. The rest is not up to me. I am worried, scared.... I just feel like my last 4 years of life has been trying to prevent things like this happening, and I guess I wasted those years.

Tailspin, melanoma runs in my family. Grandpa had it, and basal cell carcinoma runs in my moms side of the family. This mole was definitely not a basal cell kind. It's either melanoma, or benign irregular.

It hits hard mostly because I've lost two close friends to melanoma. I don't want to be in that statistic.

So now I wait. I'd rather it not be in fear.

Wow....I understand he tried to clean up his initial statement but that definitely wasnt what he should of said. Here are some positive things to consider:

You've been down this road before and it turns out it wasn't serious. It IS indeed true that moles can grow and become darker during pregnancy. ...I had a few myself. Just keep the faith that it isn't anything serious.

Be encouraged that you have the ability and means to go to a doctor and get it checked out. Alot of people do not have that luxury unfortunately.

I am SURE that you will get some reassuring news soon that it isn't anything serious. Please don't worry yourself into a tizzy....I did that just a week or so ago for no good reason at all.....try to keep yourself occupied to keep your mind off of it until you hear back from your doc. Did they tell you how long it would take to get the results?

[defmunel]

I think yesterday I was numb to it all. But this morning I woke up with thoughts of doom runnin through my head.

Like, what happens now? I'm pregnant, so will I not get to be here for my baby? What will my husband and children do when I go? Will it be painful?

I believe in eternal families, but how long will I have to wait in heaven before I get to see my family again?

I'm so scared. Tears are flowing. I'm not ready to leave. I've given so much faith to have another baby. The reason it took so long was because I was afraid I would die. And now? I'm even more afraid.

[trinidiva]

You aren't going anywhere right now!!!! You are automatically assuming the worst without hearing what the doc has to say. That's what anxiety will do to you.....it will make you think the very worst. I'm sure it will be fine......please do not worry yourself too much! I did the same thing two weekends ago and it turned out that it wasn't serious at all. I had worried myself sick for nothing. It set me back big time with my anxiety progress. Please do not do that to yourself. When did they expect the results back? If it is anything serious, then they would get back to you asap.......

You are a praying person if I remember correctly..... just pray. Ask God for help right now...ask him for peace right now and to take the fear that you are having right now out of your mind and heart. If you arent, then just try to keep your mind clear of negative thoughts and write down all of the things you are happy about....goals you want to achieve, things you want to do with your kids...etc...just fill the page.

Can you call the office to find out when to expect the results?

[defmunel]

Doc said he would personally call me in 2 weeks with results.

Yes, I very much am religious. I have been praying quite fervently. My hiccup with prayer and feeling Gods presence has always been that my anxiety gets in the way. I have a hard time feeling the peace when I'm so anxious.

[trinidiva]

I got this from another helpful site.


Philippians 4:6, 7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understand, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.


Believe

Mark 11:22-24
Have faith in God. I assure you that you can say to this mountain, 'May God lift you up and throw you into the sea' and your command will be obeyed. All that is required is that you really believe and do not doubt in your heart. Listen to me! You can pray for anything and if you believe, you will have it.


I struggle with laying my whole self out, putting all my faith in God. We, you and I both, have to surrender completely to the fact that it is God alone who controls this life of ours. I struggle too, trust me. I learned a hard lesson two weekends ago going through something health related also. I worried myself to a point where I wasn't sleeping or eating. You know what? The tests came back fine. Totally fine. That's what I'm praying for you too....it will be fine. You have to believe it. You can't go through the next two weeks distraught like this.

Is there any way they could expedite the results? My primary care doc is well aware of my anxiety issue so she always sends the results quickly.

[defmunel]

Thanks Trin.

I really do struggle submitting my will to Gods. It's always been difficult for me.

This whole situation has me going from anxious to numb constantly. I really wish I could get the results quicker. The derma said he'd call me in 2 weeks.

I did leave a message for my pcp to talk to her about the appt I had with derma, and hopefully she can get him to expedite the test results.

Here is something my dermatologist friend wrote me:

"Hey! Dont worry! Even "bad" looking moles are most of the time harmless, especially with pregnant or nursing patients. Hormons make many moles seem worse than they really are!!! Even in the unlikely Case of melanoma, the chance of metastasing within that short time is fortunately very very low!
So just relax and wait for the good news by the pathologist! Tell me about the results, please!"

I'm trying to stay positive. My thoughts fluctuate constantly throughout the day. It's exhausting. I should be thinking about this baby, but instead I'm thinking of my funeral.

[trinidiva]

Anytime you get those negative feelings.....immediately distract yourself with something else. For instance, I woke up after having an unpleasant dream...with slight nausea and feeling warm. I'd been having slight left arm pain all day...so immediately I thought I was having a heart attack. After tossing and turning for another 20 minutes, I started to think about things logically. My bp had been fine all day, my bp rate too...and this mysterious arm pain seemed to subside when I wasn't thinking about it. It was only anxiety. I closed my eyes, immediately turned my thoughts to something else pleasant and fell back asleep. I'm struggling again this morning but I'm not going to cave to those negative thoughts.
You need to keep your thoughts focused on your precious bundle of joy on the way....and preparations for that. You definitely should also feel better because of the confirmation you got from someone who is knowledgeable in that field...and they seemed pretty confident it wasnt anything serious.
Hang in there. If you start to feel badly....you know we are always here for you!

[defmunel]

I just finished at my regular ob check up, and told my dr what happened at derm. She was really upset for me. She said #1, anybody, ANYBODY, not just those with health anxiety, would become anxious over a doctor telling them "it looks bad". Second, not pathology should take 2 weeks to get results. 2-3 days max. So, she had me sign a medical release form, and she will call the lab directly for the results. She said we need to know sooner than later what we're dealing with. She also told me to call my pcp, and let her know what happened, and hopefully my feedback will keep her from referring to that dermatologist again. Anyways, I'm still extremely anxious. Luckily my bp isn't high, but the thoughts keep coming. My ob was so upset. I'd been doing so well with the anxiety during this pregnancy, with no meds, and this stupid dr comes around and messes with me.

[trinidiva]

I just finished at my regular ob check up, and told my dr what happened at derm. She was really upset for me. She said #1, anybody, ANYBODY, not just those with health anxiety, would become anxious over a doctor telling them "it looks bad". Second, not pathology should take 2 weeks to get results. 2-3 days max. So, she had me sign a medical release form, and she will call the lab directly for the results. She said we need to know sooner than later what we're dealing with. She also told me to call my pcp, and let her know what happened, and hopefully my feedback will keep her from referring to that dermatologist again. Anyways, I'm still extremely anxious. Luckily my bp isn't high, but the thoughts keep coming. My ob was so upset. I'd been doing so well with the anxiety during this pregnancy, with no meds, and this stupid dr comes around and messes with me.

Excellent that your ob is interceding for you......she's absolutely right.....that derm should not of said it like that. Not at all. I'm glad that she agreed that two weeks is extremely long in this day and age for results. Hope she can get them to expedite them.

[defmunel]

Forwells, totally agree with the fimd. This doctor needs a lesson on bedside manner.

My pcp called back, and was horrified by what happened. She said that I am totally in the right to feel the way I do. She said "I'm on your side". She just couldn't believe he would say those things to me.

So, she is calling the derm, leaving her cell number with them so he will hopefully call her back tonight. She will then call me in the am.

My pcp and ob both have issues about the labs taking so long, especially given my pregnancy.

I believe in 2-3 days they can know whether or not the mole is melanoma. It's just the "staging" part that takes longer.

I'm grateful to have doctors that are taking this seriously, and are wanting answers as much as I do.

My pcp did say, "I really think your going to be ok. I really this is nothing, but we need to find out now. "

I'm praying. Going on with my days as best I can. When you lose someone to melanoma, it hits deep. I don't want to mess with this stuff, and my only goal is to catch it before it starts. This lame dr had me believing I wasn't vigorous enough. I honestly don't know of many more people who listen and watch their bodies like I do. It's possible that I just wasn't aware enough, but I'd like to hope I was.

[defmunel]

So after some drama, I got my results. Everything is benign!

Now the story. My ob called the lab that he thought my biopsy was sent to, but they din have any slides. So she told me to talk to my pcp, and call the derm.

I called the derm, and left a message, but they never called me back.

My pcp called me, and I told her everything that happened. She was horrified. Told me I was in the right to feel the way I do. She called the derm and spoke to one of the doctors. He read trough the notes, and said there was NOTHING written about melanoma, staging or treatment of any sort. His notes said "probable benign atypical mole due to pregnancy and hormones. Or possible atypia", which just means precancerous mole. He then gave her the results because "the patient is really anxious".

She called me and told me of their conversation. I felt like a liar! The things he told me in the office, and talked about, were NOT written in his notes. He scared me for no reason, and I have no way of backing up my story. I'm grateful for my pcp that stood up for me. I also feel like an idiot too.

I plan to write her a thank you note, and hopefully save some face.

Thank you everyone for your kind words, and helpful comments. They really did help during the time of distress.

Thank you all again!!!!

[trinidiva]

Amen!!!!!!!!! I knew your prayers would be answered! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy, glad, relieved, for you!!!!!! I was having a rough morning but this has made me feel so much better to hear you got this awesome news.

I want you to enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and put this completely out of your mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope you have a great weekend!!!!!!!

[jessed03]

Ah I missed this!

Glad it all came back ok!

Dem trini prayers are POWERFUL, I keep telling everybody!!

You dealt with this really well, congrats! Especially considering the dick move by your doc to scare you. Definitely one for the win column in future.

When I searched your name to find this post, I read one of your older posts, where you were freaking out over a health worry. Compare that to how you dealt with this, and the progress is obvious!! Light years of difference! I'm glad for you in both regards!!

Like trini said... I hope the next few months are exciting, and everything goes well and you stay healthy! Come back & talk to us soon, and share any news! :)

[worriedmummy85]

I am pleased this came back fine for you

I work with doctors and I know how some doctors can be and they can be out of order

Hope you feel better

[trinidiva]

Ah I missed this!

Glad it all came back ok!

Dem trini prayers are POWERFUL, I keep telling everybody!!

You dealt with this really well, congrats! Especially considering the dick move by your doc to scare you. Definitely one for the win column in future.

When I searched your name to find this post, I read one of your older posts, where you were freaking out over a health worry. Compare that to how you dealt with this, and the progress is obvious!! Light years of difference! I'm glad for you in both regards!!

Like trini said... I hope the next few months are exciting, and everything goes well and you stay healthy! Come back & talk to us soon, and share any news! :)

Lol@ jesse.

[tailspin]

Very glad to hear that everything is ok!!

[anxiousdad75]

Glad to hear everything is good. Now make sure and get a new derm!