Hello

[Altver]

Hello. 34 year old male. I have suffered from anxiety for most of my life but it's severity always seems to fluctuate from pretty mild to quite severe. Right now, it is in a severe phase. I worry that I am going to have a heart attack constantly; I cannot feel relaxed if I do not know where the nearest hospital is and have a plan to get there quickly. I have an extremely difficult time traveling due to this and rarely leave my city of residence which limits my ability to see my family and friends.

Tomorrow, I have to drive an hour and a half away for an event I promised my wife I would attend. She has been extremely patient and understanding with me over the years and on more than one occasion has dealt with me turning around and going back home when the anxiety starts and ruining our plans. I am terrified that this will happen tomorrow. I want more than anything to be able to do this, to take this step. It's funny... When I was in college, road trips were a great pleasure. I would often get in my vehicle and drive away for the weekend with no plan and no destination. Now, I can barely drive across town.

Does anyone else relate to these irrational thoughts and feelings?

[Dahila]

The more you worry the even is going to happen. You need meds man. I am dealing with it well over 30 years, Welcome to the forum, you will find sound advices here and fantastic people:))

[seal]

I completely understand how you feel. I just recently started having overwhelming anxiety. Now looking back I realized I suffered from this when I was a teenager, I just never talked to anyone out of fear. But almost 2 months ago I had a really bad panic attack while driving to work, I made it to work, surprisingly. I kept having severe panic attacks, they always started when I was driving, and I always thought I was going to have a heart attack. One day it was so bad, they had to call an ambulance while I was at work. So now I avoid driving at all, I make my husband drive me everywhere and even then sometimes I still have "attacks". Sometimes, I think ok today is gonna be the day I'll drive again and then once I get up to my car I start shaking and feeling weak. Now I just have this really bad feeling I'm going to die...and stay in my house...I haven't been able to work and my family's patience is starting to thin.
But my point is, is that I can completely relate to your thoughts and feelings, you are definitely not alone.

[PanicPhobia]

Altver, I am a 35 year old male and can relate 100%. When I was a teenager, I didn't worry about anything, would take long trips, took a trip half-way across the world on a plane. No fear at all. Then when I hit about 25 I just "snapped" and began having panic attacks constantly. I went to the ER constantly and annoyed the doctors. I became what is known as a "frequent flyer" -- those annoying people you see on that "True Stories of the ER" show. LOL. The ER docs got annoyed and referred me to a cardiologist just go get rid of me. In any case, the cardiologist said I was fine.

I also went through the whole "where's the nearest hospital" syndrome whenever I traveled somewhere. I was out with friends one night in a city a few hours from home and I made sure I knew where the hospital was. Later that night, I began having panic and told them to drop me off at this hospital (I didn't tell them it was panic). They rolled their eyes but dropped me off anyway. I went to the triage nurse and told her what was happening but she ended up making me wait in the lobby anyway. After about 20 minutes I calmed down, felt fine and called my friends to come pick me up. It was embarrassing to say the least.

However, I still was not satisfied and it got so bad that I checked myself into a psychiatric unit just so I would feel "safe" and so I could get on meds without fear of "having a bad reaction." The shrink in the hospital told me "you are in a hospital, if something happens we only have to travel a couple of floors down to get medical help." That kind of set my mind at ease (he then told me I was a hypochondriac, lol).

I have been on an SSRI for 10 years or so and for the most part I feel fine. I was diagnosed Bi-Polar, but panic attacks are strongly associated with that disease. Recently I have begun having all those feelings come back (after 5 or so years of relief). It's my own fault because I missed a shrink appointment and thus had to get off my meds (I ran out). This has thrown me into a tailspin and all those feelings I had when I was 25 (and in the psych unit) have come back. The good news is i know what it is like to feel normal and I know I can get back there again, just as I did last go around.

Moral of the story: if you find a med that works, do NOT get off of it or stop taking it because you "feel good." Stay on it unless otherwise directed by a doctor.