scdon
01-09-2008, 12:31 PM
I was wondering if anyone could offer me any advice on what i am feeling like just now.. this is my story
Im 18 and around 6 months ago i started feeling very anxious, it built itself up over a period of about a month.. i would get extremely anxious this was usually when i was drinking and i would sometimes be sick from the fear.. but then it would go away within a short while, then one evening as i was watching tv i started to feel very anxious.. the week before, i had been out with friends and became convinced someone had spiked my drink with extacy and when i got home i started to panic, i forced myself to be sick and didnt feel good at all but then the next day i felt fine, anyway i was sitting watching tv and started to feel very afraid, i decided to go to bed but as soon as i lay down it got worse.. i tried to close my eyes but felt like i was floating and started shivering, when i opened my eyes for about the first half second or so i would see flickering lights from the edge of my vision. i eventually managed to get to sleep telling myself it would be better in the morning.. I slept for only 2 or 3 hours and woke up early and the first thing that i thought was "oh no im not better" that day i felt completely spaced out, dream like.. and thought for some reason that the world was no longer real.. i just put up with it and thought going for a walk might sort me out but as soon as i went outside i was blinded by the sun and had to walk down the road squinting, when i got back i noticed that when i looked at something like a window it would create a very vivid shadow in my vision but not like normal, it would last for minutes.. i tried not to think out it but it didnt go away i had trouble sleeping and could barely eat.. i slowly managed to control the panic attacks that would come every 2 days or so, after about a month until i came across an article about limes disease and became convinced i had that.. i went to my gp who took a blood test but found nothing wrong. In the next 3 or 4 months i was back and fourth to the doctors dozens of times and had every blood test imaginable.. i had started to sleep for 12-13 hours a day i still found it hard to fall asleep due to the worry but felt exausted all the time and started to eat far more than usual. I am terrified of loosing my mind and terrified of anything that alters your mind like drugs. Even talking about drugs makes me tense up, clamp my jaw and start shaking because i start thinking what it would be like and the terror of not being in control, which makes me feel anxious again and i am tired of it.. some of the other things that i get are, flashes of light in the corner of my vision (usually blue), muscle spasms, thobbing headaches when i lie horizontal and then lightheaded when i stand up, a buzzing feeling in my head when i am trying to get to sleep, i no longer enjoy the activities i used to and find it nearly impossible to get pleasure from anything and a general feeling that my brain isnt working as well as it used to.. i know i have anxiety but what i am worried about is whether the symptoms caused the anxiety or whether the anxiety cause the symtoms if that makes sense... i would just like to know if anyone has had any similar experiences and how they cope.. i would also like to say sorry about the posing being so long.. if you got this far thanks.. it is the first time i have written about how i feel and its kinda theraputic.. anyway any advide would be much appreciated,
Thanks again
SD
Im 18 and around 6 months ago i started feeling very anxious, it built itself up over a period of about a month.. i would get extremely anxious this was usually when i was drinking and i would sometimes be sick from the fear.. but then it would go away within a short while, then one evening as i was watching tv i started to feel very anxious.. the week before, i had been out with friends and became convinced someone had spiked my drink with extacy and when i got home i started to panic, i forced myself to be sick and didnt feel good at all but then the next day i felt fine, anyway i was sitting watching tv and started to feel very afraid, i decided to go to bed but as soon as i lay down it got worse.. i tried to close my eyes but felt like i was floating and started shivering, when i opened my eyes for about the first half second or so i would see flickering lights from the edge of my vision. i eventually managed to get to sleep telling myself it would be better in the morning.. I slept for only 2 or 3 hours and woke up early and the first thing that i thought was "oh no im not better" that day i felt completely spaced out, dream like.. and thought for some reason that the world was no longer real.. i just put up with it and thought going for a walk might sort me out but as soon as i went outside i was blinded by the sun and had to walk down the road squinting, when i got back i noticed that when i looked at something like a window it would create a very vivid shadow in my vision but not like normal, it would last for minutes.. i tried not to think out it but it didnt go away i had trouble sleeping and could barely eat.. i slowly managed to control the panic attacks that would come every 2 days or so, after about a month until i came across an article about limes disease and became convinced i had that.. i went to my gp who took a blood test but found nothing wrong. In the next 3 or 4 months i was back and fourth to the doctors dozens of times and had every blood test imaginable.. i had started to sleep for 12-13 hours a day i still found it hard to fall asleep due to the worry but felt exausted all the time and started to eat far more than usual. I am terrified of loosing my mind and terrified of anything that alters your mind like drugs. Even talking about drugs makes me tense up, clamp my jaw and start shaking because i start thinking what it would be like and the terror of not being in control, which makes me feel anxious again and i am tired of it.. some of the other things that i get are, flashes of light in the corner of my vision (usually blue), muscle spasms, thobbing headaches when i lie horizontal and then lightheaded when i stand up, a buzzing feeling in my head when i am trying to get to sleep, i no longer enjoy the activities i used to and find it nearly impossible to get pleasure from anything and a general feeling that my brain isnt working as well as it used to.. i know i have anxiety but what i am worried about is whether the symptoms caused the anxiety or whether the anxiety cause the symtoms if that makes sense... i would just like to know if anyone has had any similar experiences and how they cope.. i would also like to say sorry about the posing being so long.. if you got this far thanks.. it is the first time i have written about how i feel and its kinda theraputic.. anyway any advide would be much appreciated,
Thanks again
SD