Disillusioned With Life? What makes you feel sad - Do others feel the same as you?

[Ponder]

I want to know how others feel. I'm done with stereo typing and want to reach out and connect with others, however my own story always seem to come up and get in the way. I want to know your perspective.

Peoples sensitivities seem to stop them from talking about what they believe in and I think that alone is sad. I'm seriously over the judgment, despite having typed whatever. We are all Fallible ... I don't want people only talking to me, when it's about me being a a good boy.
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Examples:


I'm having a hard time with my faith because of this or that?
Like Me ... I was homeless and having a hard time with equality
I don't like how my teachers don't listen to me ....
I wish the ringing in my ears would just make my head explode ...
I'm confused and scared because I'm not sure if the shadow spirits are going to dominate the my guardian angles ... fascinating stuff ???
I'm just wondering when the ice caps are going to melt???



I've had enough of my own story, and think it's good for others just to belt out what's really making them sad - about life in general. Honestly ... I would be honored to hear whatever is on your mind. There are spaces elsewhere in the forum for a pick me up ... however its good to just get stuff of ones chest. So please do indulge for the sake of just unloading. No One can really judge you except yourself , or so I am thinking.

Just trying to reach and and get some insight myself ... So:

Disillusioned With Life? What makes you feel sad - Do others feel the same as you?

[Ponder]

Me ... I wish we could all just get along, listen to each other and be heard.

Next ...

[Angie 91]

”I'm having a hard time with my faith because of this or that?”
Do you mean in relation to religion? -can't help you with that, sorry.
Regarding general trust, Yes, I got issues. Trusting is hard. Knowing who to trust, even harder.

”..having a hard time with equality”
hmm.. I live in a socialistic country. I'm from a broken home and have bad relationship with my parents. However even though I grew up without a penny. I got money every week from the state and the royal crown. I got presents for my B-day. my education is free. I buy clothes and shoes every month I get discount on all types of books and I travel for half the price in the entire country. I've excavated in Rome, greece and the school took me to Spain for holiday on a decent hotel 3 stars (ok I had to pay 75 us dollers) I'm insured. Two years ago I broke my leg (got hit by a car) and they preformed two operations on me for free. The sent me to psychologist, ultrasound and retraining a month after the accident. I know some of you would hate me for typing these words but I feel like the state the crown and the tradeknights (the rich in my country) really care for me. Once I wrote them a letter stateing that I needed a laptop for school. Two day later a agent called me and I got one.

I got many problems being poor is not one of them. I look forward to paying tax.
I'm really sad you have been homeless :( I hope you during fine wherever you are

”I don't like how my teachers don't listen to me ....”
Yeah sometimes I feel like that too. But I'm unsure whether it is feelings or reality. Comunication is hard.


”I wish the ringing in my ears would just make my head explode ...”
no never felt like that :( I've had serious ringing in my ears though.

”I'm confused and scared because I'm not sure if the shadow spirits are going to dominate the my guardian angles ... fascinating stuff ???”
..Pardon?

”I'm just wondering when the ice caps are going to melt???”
me too. Seems like people don't care. Or wont?

[Ponder]

Hi Angie, the examples where not meant as questions, but more to show the differences in people. I'm looking for responses from sad people that could come up with their own reasons as to why they are in fact sad.
None the less I appreciate your responses there. It would seem no ones likes talking about the things that makes them sad, and that's OK. I anticipated that such a thread would not get many responses. I understand people love talking about their anxiety; that is clearly evident on this site. The missing heart beats, the pain emanating from here of there, yea I got that too ... and so on. Its good to understand how anxiety works, but just like social media, it tends to feed on itself ... I find talking about the things that makes are really sad, is not such a primer ... if others would just join in and be real about the things gong on in the world. Too much hype and hysteria for me with focus tending more towards only dealing with things that make us happy happy.

I am capable of finding happiness and motivational ... but not by ignoring that which drags me down. In fact this thread need not me as dreary as it would seem for some. There is much to be gained by honestly looking in to those things that make feel unpleasant and or drive us to despair. Again though ... each to their own, and I guess I can go looking for such throughout the forum if is pleases me so.
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I am please for you Angie ... When it comes to welfare providing lives sustaining necessities, many nations can claim they have a system in place. That's great - I'm about exposing that which breaks down our humanity, for those that although are eating, drinking, and breathing ... even those that have Jobs, cars and houses ... yet still find a void in themselves that just can't be filled. This thread is more aimed at that.

Again ... long shot. The one I made on List something positive you did today, well that's a no brainier and often used in many self help sites.

Thank You for your response all the same. I really liked much of what you said, the huge difference between cultures is not in the provision of welfare services, but the attitudes of the population and their common purpose. In that regard, I think a socialist system, although not perfect itself, prevails over capitalism hands down. But it's very hard to talk in such a way as both terms are so binding, yet so complex ... although they need not be, if people would simplify by discussing what it is that upsets them so, rather than use such terms, phrases and or metaphors. (has its purpose though - just don't like it when [people use it like so ->) It's just so easy, once learned to use sophisticated languages and talk in circles to avoid whats really staring one in the face.

Anyways ... enough of that now. I go respond in the other thread you were so kind to respond to.
Thank You again Angie. :)

[Angie 91]

Ahh I see.

I must have been a bit tired when I read and answered your post.

Well I think the title "...Do others feel the same as you?" made me precive it as a question.
But I like your Idea better. So I'll write a few things too.

What makes me feel sad:

-To consider the meaning of death (I'll cry, panic even)

-Growing up i strange, as in paying bills, working, talking with adults and minding your p's and q's

-Is the world ending? would they even tell me?

-I don't understand women very well, as I grow older this is an increasing problem for me.

-Solitude.


Best,
Angie

[Ponder]

Hmmm I see what you mean. Not the best with Titles but getting there.
I think you have a very special way with words.
Thank You very much for sharing that. :)

[Hannah_28]

I read this and found myself contemplating the things that make me sad

-change

-the deaths if loved ones/regrets

-my own self perception/others perception of me

-society/peoples attitudes

-not being normal

-being on my own/being surrounded by people

-knowing none of the above will change

Not sure what sort of picture I'm painting of myself so I'll stop now but yeah sorry if it's wrong.

Thanks.

[Ponder]

Hi Hannah,

No right or wrong in this thread and any picture is better than no picture. Just curious to know what's getting most of us down.
Thank You for participating. :)

[Hannah_28]

There's more than that I just thought I'd better stop before I got carried away.

[Ponder]

I don't mind hearing if your able to say it. If its to triggering I understand, but please consider the more we let these things sometimes the better it feels later.

An example for me is how I have been burying very deeply the pain and bitterness of seeing my wife suffer her illness. I should talk more of that than my own story as now is what counts, despite the past having played its role.

I just finished another POEM thanks to Angie ... I will share it in here, but hoping Angie has another for the new thread recently made. I am sitting here waiting for the hospital to ring me ... and came up with the following:
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Soldiering On …

Off to the hospital and back again,
The constant trips embedded in her face.
I long for her to live without such pain,
Life seems to of become one long embrace.

To give me what she did and now see this,
Makes getting up much more senseless than before
Alas, we pop our pills and rise together,
knowing one could not live without the other.
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It's more pain I need to deal with and I don't mind sharing ... but finding words that are not gong to rip me to shreds is the key I guess. We all need to find hope some how ... I really don't mind hearing, but again ... I fear the trick is in the way we tell our story, yet don't let that stop you ... as it's more about growing. So far this place has been real good for me. I have been worried about admin maybe having to tell me to tone it down, but I guess I have slowly learned over time in my past there as well. If your able to tell ... just say what you think is best.

This thing with my wife could become a beast if I let it ... but now I have said a little tonight about it, I'll try not to let it drag me down.

So dare I ask ... what's on your mind. :)

[jessed03]

Hmm Mr Ponder, a very interesting thread. Been an insightful read so far. I won't comment on anybodies answers, as of course they are personal, I can see why they are things that would disillusion you guys. Some I also have, others I don't but can understand :)

Ill share a few of my own. Things that disillusion me:

- Time: It's made to just pass, isn't it? It's made to slowly run out on you. It pretends to be your friend, promising you a great future, and a chance to fulfill your dreams, but, every time I look for it, there's less than there was before. And there's nothing you can do about it. No do-overs if you crash or take a wrong turn. No pause or rewind. Never any more once it's gone. Once it's gone, it is indeed gone. And it goes so fast. Before you know it, lifes in the process of replacing you. Living feels a lot like drawing with chalk on the pavement. You put the effort in, but you know very soon, nature will come along and wash it away. Nothing is permanent, and there's not a thing you can do about it. Everything is passing. Everything will go.

- God: I think it done a shitty job. I think too much is unfair. Genetics, disease, accidents etc, all mostly outside our control. Life's just a lottery. I was born in London with food and water. I could easily have been born in Ethiopia with no food, dying a painful death. There's no cause and effect to it. Luck and genetics ultimately have the final word, and you control neither. Plus, I don't like how we have to kill to survive. Why must one die, so one can live? Why can't we all just inhabit the world? I guess I don't believe in any god, afterall, what god would create a species whose only light source, the sun, also gives them cancer?!

- Money: you need it to be comfortable, and to have proper choices, and so few people respect you or take you seriously unless you have it. The thing is, you either have to sell your life away doing a job you hate, get lucky and win/inherit it, or step over people to get it. Most of the worlds income is at the top of the ladder, where jerks, crooks and thieves masquerade as important people or the upper class. The only way we can get to it, is to wait for little bits to trickle down, or play them at their own game by stepping on others and being selfish.

-Happiness: It's not real, is it? It's all just dopamine. We're all just glorified drug addicts, chasing our next dopamine hit, only in less desperate ways than heroin addicts. We say we enjoy things, like love, shopping, our hobbies, but really, the only two things we ever enjoy, are dopamine and serotonin. The only two things. The only two things no matter what we do, or where we travel, that will make us feel good. Happiness is such a shallow deluded concept. It's just a game... Who can find the most dopamine? You? Oh great, you win!! We go chasing desperately after compliments, attention, love, money, products, success, our goals etc etc etc, but we don't want them, we want the dopamine they give us. That's all we ever want, we just lie to ourselves that things are important to us, or spiritual, or good for the mind, or fun... But what we're really saying is I'm loving my dopamine high, and want more!!!

I think I have seen too much of life.

So yeah, quite long when I got writing, but, things irk me :)

[Ponder]

still waiting for hospital to ring ...

I agree with not commenting on peoples personal comments (unless initiated by themselves I guess?) and shall try to refrain as hard as it can be. For the purpose of this thread it makes sense. ... but I have to thank you immensely for such a response. You have my utmost respect! I do hope others of all views pop in and have their say. I really think this is great. It's one thing to say I feel better knowing I'm not alone, but to hear it like this ... kind of gives commiseration real meaning. :)

[NeverToo...Fear]

I agree and can relate to some degree with some of the stuff that has been said here!

Disillusioned With Life? What makes you feel sad?

I give fair warning that my post is going to be really depressing. After all, we are talking about what makes us feel sad, but anyway, here's a few of mine:

Death: I've never gotten over this one. I'm not religious. I do not believe in an eternal afterlife filled with loved ones. Things just end. Go black. Permanent knockout. No soul. No God; There's just decisions, disease and death. Everything comes to an end, and that's what bothers me. I never want things to end, but it has to. It's so silly of me to think that life should just go on and on. It doesn't. And everything you do in your life was to build something great, only for it to be taken away from you at the end; And life was nothing but a house of cards. Difficult and time consuming to stack, but at the slightest mistake, so easy to quickly crumble and fall.

Love: I almost don't want it anymore, because when someone you care about leaves you, it hurts. I always hate putting my heart out there only to have it crushed. It makes me not even want to try, but to keep guarded and try not to care or love so deeply. Because when it's gone, the pain that replaces just hurts too bad. Again, I'm back to things ending. Love can cloud my head, just as easily as the pain can. So maybe thoughts and opinions are only accurate to us in relation to what we are feeling at the moment?

People: Obviously I don't mean every person on the planet..I don't hate people. But some things that they do make me feel sad. I don't like how some people seem have so many judgments about things they don't understand. How they are so quick to convict someone. How they have to cut others down to make themselves feel better. How they go to church and claim to do good, but the second you ask for help they are suddenly 'busy' despite you've helped them whenever they've asked in the past. How they lie to your face behind that smile. How they pretend to be your friend, because they only want something from you. How they just seem to be so selfish. Again, so much negativity here, and I don't think all people have every one of these traits. I mostly speak from my own personal experience in dealing with some people.


"After you find out all the things that can go wrong, your life becomes less about living and more about waiting."

[jessy]

I feel a deep sadness most days & cry a lot yet I don't know what I'm sad about .
I suppose I'm sad that I'm stuck with anxiety & depression & it's taken so much of my life away.
Life is overwhelming to me
I'm scared of so much .

[DodgingRain]

Myself? Most of the time I don't really care if I exist or not. Something in me forces me to overachieve and I wish I could turn that off because nothing is ever enough. Unfortunately it's also the only thing that keeps me here. Suicide equates to failing which is not overachieving so I'm just stuck in shit land.

[anxious aussie]

I am new to this page and this is my first step towards feeling better. Right now there's not much that doesn't make me sad/anxious/scared. But here's a few I would like to get off my chest

- change/the unexpected. If something doesn't go the way I plan it or want it to in my head I absolutely freak out. And I don't even know why.

- health problems. I'm constantly diagnosing myself with illnesses or anything. I automatically think the worst every time I have a pain or a symptom and they only get worse when I think about it more which leads me to not feeling in control

- losing control. Anything I don't have control off makes me anxious to the point of tears. I can't remember the last day I went without crying and by the end of it I can't stop and I can't even remember why I'm so worked up.

- my thoughts. I wish I could just turn my brain off for a while.

- not being successful or able to make my loved ones proud

- the unknown. Not knowing what the future will bring. Or what tomorrow will bring. Or not even knowing exactly what my loved ones are doing right now. I feel like I'm losing my mind

Sorry this is long but this is the first time I've written it all down. Cos I don't want to burden the people I care about or push them away

Thanks

[Ponder]

Just a quick special hello to the anxious aussie. From one Aussie to another, although clearly many of us seem to be in the same boat; wishing you well and hoping you find some a little relief as I have done in this forum. I hope you are able to keep sharing as you have done. No worries on the length - as I let out what I feel I must. The best we can do, is perhaps to take a little time to consider what we say - and with the quality of posts I am reading here, it sure seems this forum is graced with the special folk sharing as they do. I have read everyone's post and whilst none of us needs to - like/subscribe or validate - the other; It's just plain good to find a place where no such pressure would maybe hold us back from unloading such weights that bare down on us as we each see them.

It's a unique privilege, to see from another's view - and I'm just thankful for that.
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I'll share a little more of what's made me sad in recent day's ... Went for a walk the other morning and saw a figure laying on a bench, wrapped up in a blanket. I spent some time in this place as a child, came back and spent almost another 20 years here. It's a City full of Churches, very clean and squeaky, prize winning gardens and a shopping mall for every 10 blocks. Originally I was born in the bush (a tiny town, with no need to plant trees like they do now) - This town way back then, was a like a capital city to me, although only 70,000 people; none the less it's all relative like space and time. We only stayed a few years, then it was back to the bush for me:

What I remember way back then - in that city to me, was how much different it was - to now. If mum had to get a loaf of bread, she take us with her (no father to watch us) whilst we still had a PJs and dressing gowns on. Thing is, we would see other kids similarly out and about. Hell, I remember going out once like that with a town fair happening at night in the towns main street. I believe I was about seven years of age then - compare that today and you'll see just how much things have changed. Kids about that age now, are dressed up for success and shown on stage. They'd laugh if the ever saw anything that resembled us, holding our mums hand as often as it happened. By age Ten, kids are fully fledged doers with expectations and obligations. Even those well to do rigid and regimented families of the past, have also had to make compromises to our new modern ways. The change from the old Analogue world, to the now fully immersed digital way of thinking and ticking - Humans have always adapted to change, but the pace between a world that once felt it's way to that which that now thinks it's way has lost much along the way. Growing old is not so much the issue, although whilst our age is seemingly increased - I understand it liken to doing time imprisoned with each passing year, given the rapid change. I'm done with looking at the rope in my shed - I'll suffer the bouts for bouts sake, whilst knowing all I have to do is rid myself of the worlds pattern - whilst none the less, working on my own ticks and twitches. The more BS labels they come up with, all the glorifying and worshiping - inspirations created on the backs of deceptive intentions destined to suck the life out of those poor suckers who become the captives of both their own and others negativity. I believe in looking towards what little light is left, accepting what is, but better yet ... leaving the world to sink in their own ship - lest they don't mine me shopping in my PJs. ;)

Bit screwy I know ... again thanks for sharing.