Paranoid Shcizophrenia or Anxiety?

[RandomRandomnesss]

For the past few months, I have been having really paranoid thoughts.... All sorts of things during the day, for example, when driving to work...seeing all the road cameras and thinking.. Are they solely monitoring me, where I go, what I am doing. This is of course nonsense, but I can't shake it!

Another would be something like, when someone asks me a question, they already know the answer and it is all part of a big test... which is of course nonsense but again, everytime!!

Another would be that loads of coincidences are happening following my thoughts, and I'm asking myself if they are just simply 'coincidences' or something else. Of course they are just coincidences.... but it's like, I don't actually have the 100% answer, how do I really know what is going on outside my mind.

I feel almost as if I've started to believe that I believe these things, and that this could be the start of becoming Paranoid Schizophrenic.


Has anyone got any ideas, or personal experiences about this?

Thank you.

[jessed03]

Your post fits much more into the OCD spectrum of anxiety than it does into any schizoid disorder -- imo. :)

OCD isn't simply washing your hands hundreds of times a day, it's pretty much anything with an obsessive and compulsive theme (Something we all have when anxiety flares)

Let me explain how your problem is obsessive/compulsive:

It's mental, for a start, so the compulsions are mostly physchological.

The 'obsession' for you is the thought or fear of being odd, or ill, or something like that, that may have developed in the most innocent of ways, usually from a split second thought crossing your tired mind that didn't get resolved, or concerned you a little.

The mind, for whatever reason, couldn't dismiss it with certainty, often due to anxiety, and so became alarmed, and decided to go about obtaining a conclusive answer, so that it could dismiss it.

To do this, it needed to run tests, and experiment, in order to gain more feedback.

These tests the mind runs, are the compulsions, and -- like most tests -- are rather uncomfortable and unpleasant.

The 'compulsion' - is your mind throwing loads of weird stuff your way, to see if theres evidence to prove or disprove your obsession. The bizarre thoughts often come more frequently, and try different angles, in order to see if anything will become more conclusive onces it's been played around with inside your head. This is where you usually notice yourself consciously debating the validity of such ideas.

Your mind is seeking resolution to its previous concern, and in a desperate attempt to get it, will TRY to make you believe your concern is true - just as it's final test, just to try and find out the truth once and for all. Its reasoning being; if you believe it, and it clicks inside your head and feels true, then it MUST be true! Then it has solved the case.

Only... you're not an idiot.

A few thoughts and confusing feelings aren't gonna ever make you believe your obsession is true. Your brain is too complex to be tricked like that. They'll only make you doubt.

And thats where you are now -- in doubt mode.

Your mind is trying deliberately to make you believe these silly things you're concerned about - as part of its 'system test'.... but, deep down, you never will believe them, you never will believe these paranoid ideas and you know it. And you know that you know, even if right you doubt that you know it... If that makes sense?

So your anxiety problem -- confusing and contradictory? Yes.

Paranoid schizophrenia? Certainly not!

Hope this helps a little.

[KitahD]

I get it. I also obsess about becoming schizophrenic or bipolar. I think my docs must be wrong and that I'm going into insanity. I look at something and think it means something else ...like a superstition. "If the car behind me turns then this or that". If a coincidence occurs, I wonder if there's a hidden meaning. If read I too much of the Bible I start obsessing too much about what it means. And on and on.


I don't hear voices nor do I hallucinate but I also obsess that I will...

[RandomRandomnesss]

Thanks for your detailed response Jessed.

It is definitely confusing for me. It's like, I really try to think to myself ' Right do I really believe this? ', and telling myself no of course I don't.....

But am I simply just telling myself that because I have an understanding of Paranoid Schiz and the beliefs it can cause?

[RunnerChick]

Exactly what Jessed said. I feel the same way as you do alot of the time. It's the compulsiveness, and it peaks when I have an anxiety attack.

[PanicPhobia]

I am not a doctor but it seems doubtful you have schizophrenia just by the fact that you understand that your paranoia is, well, paranoia. I have been around schizophrenics and they truly believe their delusions.

I have paranoid thoughts as well, and I know I am not schizophrenic. If I were you I wouldn't worry about "going crazy." But, again, none of us are doctors and it is best to talk to an expert about it.

[Ponder]

No offense here, but I'm going to be blunt - no one in here will be able to answer that one for you. I have had more than one friend who suffers from Schizophrenia and my Brother is a drug induced Schizophrenia. The medicine I take if actually used for Schizophrenia, however it's purpose for me is to control "extreme" Anxiety which was bordering on Paranoia and if left untreated I could of easily turned like my brother.

Regards to cameras - Cameras are watching us, so that's a common one. Even if you turn it into a "just me" event, the camera symptom barely registers these days. Reading thoughts - Hmmmmmm - that's worth looking into. Unfortunately people do read each other in a world now bent on appearance & imprinting and a lack of personally communications skills gripping a large sector of society now.

Here's the thing from my perspective - Not all people fall into the same category, but weather people like to admit it or not - Schizophrenia is often associated with a lot of outbursts and whilst angst and low self esteem will often result in such ... if you don't want to go to a physc now about it ... if indeed you do have Schizophrenia, you can expect to fly off the handle as you climb the walls dealing with all those thoughts that are constantly projected at you, the things people are saying, all those *&^%ing messages in advertising robing you of your sole. You'll eventually give in and start foaming at the mouth as you respond wildly to the pressures all coming in on all sides, from the cameras, people thinking in your directions, all the hypersensitive chatter going on where everyone else is able to get by except you --- If you keep it all in, you might project it in other ways, but usually the condition is rather debilitating often requiring professional intervention with some form of lock up required.

Have you been locked up recently? Do you have any family ... If so, do they walk on egg shells around you? People embarrassed to be around you?

PanicPhobia's statement - "If I were you I wouldn't worry about "going crazy." although as sad as that it is for me to hear that ... I'm afraid the reality is ... that Schizophrenia is indeed one episode after the other with constant broiling going over in the head that is ready to trigger at a moments notice. When you start feeling like that, and or as I say perhaps get locked up/arrested or any kind of intervention because of walking in circles and yelling out - your most probably just playing into your mind with the mass of others out there wondering if it was - one or two skips of the heart beat.

RAGE! ... frustration that gives into disillusionment that leads you to talking to your heater for TWO DAYS straight - Is what happened to my bro and it was a long process of hard core events that lead to his DX. Do you think your close to any of these events?

Too many people are suffering hard core, so I'm just going to say if your not somehow suffering similar extreme events as I have tried to explain , that unless you got money to burn - it's going to take a shit load of suffering before any doctor will DX an individual for Schizophrenia.

Edit ... not every "episode" involves risk to others ... whilst my brother was and can be in the category - talking to things that are not there is one episode that's not violent. One of my friends was often shy living with his condition, but quite capable of ripping his home apart - the manifestation of suffering mind can vary from babbling gibberish to people either there or not - Just saying not every episode is centered on violent behavior/
__________________________________________________ ___________________________________

Hope this finds you well.
Just call me Dave ... but don't send me any thoughts, I'm liable to explode whilst writing some poetry. ;)
PS ... bear in mind this comes from an unstable individual ... Again ... wishing you well!

[blondieqtpie]

My advise is to get professionally diagnosed. It may be one for the other... Of both. Many people have dual or multiple diagnoses.
To put your mind at ease seek professional help.

[Tranquility_Seeker]

I used to feel this way too (once in a great while I still do) I couldn't cross the street with cars waiting at the red light without thinking the people were watching my every move. It was a horrible feeling and I thought I was paranoid/schiz also...not true. I talked to a therapist about it and she reassured me I wasn't. Not sure exactly when these feelings went away or why but I still have anxiety just more comfortable going out...most of the time.

[jessed03]

Thanks for your detailed response Jessed.

It is definitely confusing for me. It's like, I really try to think to myself ' Right do I really believe this? ', and telling myself no of course I don't.....

But am I simply just telling myself that because I have an understanding of Paranoid Schiz and the beliefs it can cause?

Yeah, this is a normal response from somebody with an OCD ish fear. It makes you doubt and question everything. It basically becomes a loop, whereby you crave reassurance to a point where you can no longer get it. After all, we can talk ourselves into doubting everything. If you stopped to think about it, I'm sure you could make a case for every minor truth, like even the sun rising tomorrow, to be possibly inaccurate.

The only way to break the loop, is to stop travelling it. If you keep questioning it, and trying to reason with your fears, you will only get to a stage, whereby you've come to a place you can no longer get the level of reassurance you need. I.e. You've become too good at talking yourself in and out of everything. This is a state of sheer uncertainty and confusion. I don't think you're quite there yet, which is good.

The best way of healing it, is to follow a cbt form, and reason with the fear ONCE. Only once. That way the truth, and the comforting fact of sanity, is locked in your subconscious, even if you don't instantly feel it. Then afterwards... Seeing as the truth is already in your mind, and you realize there is no possible way of winning this battle... just reply to everything 'maybe'. Quit playing along.

Am I schizophrenic 'maybe'. Am I a bad person 'maybe'. Truthfully, you can say what you want. I agreed with all my OCD thoughts. I had harm OCD, whereby I thought I was perhaps a hidden psycho, after getting really angry and yelling at a kid one day. I analyzed many things I did and many things I thought, for evidence to support or deny this fact, and it wore me out. I could never be sure, because I simply created counter arguments for every claim I made. A lot like you seem to do too.

The only way I beat it, and I've seen others beat it, is to signal to their mind to STOP THE SEARCH FOR ANSWERS. The searching for a conclusion is freaking EXHAUSTING. One doesn't exist. I did that, by giving up all engagement in the process. There's a lot of engagement from you in this mental process, trying to figure it all out. Once you stop it, and let uncertainty exist, all that attention it's getting, stops. Once the attention is gone, the mind devalues the OCD fear. It has it on priority setting right now, as it gets a lot of attention. It believes the job is important. After all, when you're hungry, you think about food a lot, as it's very important at that moment. The same logic applies to this.

Once you stop playing the game, and reply with a nonchalant, non caring comment, your mind gets the message. This can spike anxiety for sometime sadly, you may feel weird for a bit, but don't worry, this is good. It's desensitization.

[RandomRandomnesss]

No offense here, but I'm going to be blunt - no one in here will be able to answer that one for you. I have had more than one friend who suffers from Schizophrenia and my Brother is a drug induced Schizophrenia. The medicine I take if actually used for Schizophrenia, however it's purpose for me is to control "extreme" Anxiety which was bordering on Paranoia and if left untreated I could of easily turned like my brother.


I didn't think it was possible for anxiety to lead to Schizophrenia?

[RandomRandomnesss]

Once you stop playing the game, and reply with a nonchalant, non caring comment, your mind gets the message. This can spike anxiety for sometime sadly, you may feel weird for a bit, but don't worry, this is good. It's desensitization.

Okay I'm really going to try this!! How common is this form of OCD? I'd never actually heard of it! Though it's reassuring that it exists.

[jessed03]

Okay I'm really going to try this!! How common is this form of OCD? I'd never actually heard of it! Though it's reassuring that it exists.

Pretty common :) not as common as health fears that you usually associate with anxiety, but quite a few people do get OCD symptoms rather than worrying about their heart. Some indeed get both.

I've spoken to lots on this forum with similar issues, and I can't think of one that isn't doing better after a year, so the prognosis is usually good, as tranquil_ has shown above,

A good forum to use is stuckinadoorway. It's basically for most types of OCD anxiety. I'm not sure how popular it is now, as my episode was a good few years ago, but most on there have a OCD issue, whether it being about mental illness, causing harm, relationships, sexuality etc. (you'll notice they all follow the same pattern)... There are some good posts in there from experienced people.

Good luck with it :)

[Ponder]

Just a side note - I find People often associated with such conditions - to have an uncanny ability to understand each other and the stories they have to offer much more than people give them credit for. In short, regardless of whatever label - some of my best conversations have been with people classified as unstable. In my mind - I have no doubt that they see the things they see and they also see much more of what really exists that the stable ones would rather pretend does not exist. On that note, I embrace what I don't understand and will always seek to question with an intent that seeks to keep my mind ticking, rather than not.

I hear what your saying Jesse, with regards to giving up looking for answers ... sounds like a good plan, however I choose to look at it a little different ... I do my best not to place any expectation on finding any or place any great deal on what the feedback may be. I believe my existence is meant to experience what is around me and whilst still breathing as I am - amongst things as they are for me - I shall continue to query what blocks my path, in much the same way an insect does to find its way. I'm making gains amidst my seemingly pessimistic readings & ramblings ... I owe it all to my finely tuned antennae seeking the way.

Peace Bro/Sis ...

[jessed03]

I hear what your saying Jesse, with regards to giving up looking for answers ... sounds like a good plan, however I choose to look at it a little different ... I do my best not to place any expectation on finding any or place any great deal on what the feedback may be. I believe my existence is meant to experience what is around me and whilst still breathing as I am - amongst things as they are for me - I shall continue to query what blocks my path, in much the same way an insect does to find its way. I'm making gains amidst my seemingly pessimistic readings & ramblings ... I owe it all to my finely tuned antennae seeking the way.
Peace Bro/Sis ...

Indeed. The 'giving up looking for answers' is intended only for the single OCD worry, only as it's wired differently, and has become a loop that makes a person dizzy.

For the rest of life, you are indeed encouraged to 'ponder' (See what I did there :D)

[RandomRandomnesss]

Thanks!

The latest thought that has sent shivers through me is when getting ask to replace a team member in work to attend weekly meetings.
I can't help think that this is all part of some test or monitoring on me!

I think I've worked out what gives me a lot of the anxiety.....

It's like I almost feel like these things could be real, because I have absolutely no way of finding out the real answer. If someone told me, how could I possibly believe it, I would have to trust it instead. It's not as clear as looking at the sky and knowing it's blue as YOU can see it for yourself if you see what I mean?