I'm new! Any mothers with anxiety? Please help

[Tink1595]

Hi! I have been struggling with anxiety in many different ways since I was out of highschool, ( I am 31 now) It was always manageable, and didnt really affect normal day to day activities, for example if I couldn't go on a roller coaster , it wasn't a big deal to me, I would avoid situations that I felt anxious in, I am married to a great man and have a beautiful 2 year old son, but the past few months my anxiety has hit me hard!!! and like nothing I have dealt with before, it is causing me to be scared to drive alone, especially with my son in the car, the farthest I drive is up the road to the grocery store, Im so scared of "feeling trapped" in traffic or a red light or somewhere where i cant pull over, its just awful!! and came on with no explanation, I used to always NEED to drive myself places, but now can't, to make a long story short, Im so scared of my future, especially being a mom! Im so scared for when my son starts school, today was asked to go to a play date with some kids in the neighborhood and it took everything I had to go! Anxiety is taking control of my life, my husband has to drive me everyone, and im missing out on things i love to do for me and my son! Any other mothers with anxiety out there? is there hope for me? I wish people with anxiety could be given some sort of disability sticker! some days are very hard and i could just cry and cry! Sorry if this is all over the place, I just need support! I am about to start new meds as I have always depended on xannax, so I am nervous but very hopeful! pleas tell me things get better and how you cope with you having anxiety and your children going to school having activities ect!
Thanks so much!

[petrified]

Hi tink and welcome to the forum. I'm a mother too I have a nine year old son. I'm fairly new to anxiety and I agree it's really hard juggling mother hood and anxiety. My son has lots of activities I also struggle with driving, I'm terrified of causing an accident with my son in the car. My sons activities I usually find I'm on edge and panicky before I go, I'm fine while I'm there I put on a front and a total mess when I get home. I've recently started on beta blockers and antidepressants and they are helping me. It took me a while to build up my courage to take them but I'm so pleased I did.

I normally wouldn't take meds before my anxiety I used to fret over side affects, but I've been ok. I'm also having cbt at the moment and it's helping me a great deal.
I hope you get some help soon, and please don't worry too much, things will get easier and you are definitely not alone :-)

[ens22108]

I'm a mother to a 3 year old and I have general anxiety and panic disorder. It's so hard. This didn't start until I had her. It's a constant struggle. If you ever need to talk message me :)

[blondieqtpie]

I'm so there too... I have a 3&5 year old but my anxiety and panic stem from PTSD-// a traumatic Experience I had 17 years ago. It goes of stages : is not so bad then worse--- so it's up and down. I used to have depression and major PTSD flashbacks and was on antipsychotics many years ago but have mainly overcome that. It's one step at a time and figuring out what triggers or causes it. Sometimes there is no real apparent reason ( panic).
But you came to a good place to vent and talk and to talk to others who understand

[worriedmummy85]

I am also a mother to a 3 year old and very new to anxiety I have been put on meds after 5 weeks of suffering and then it eventually hit me at work and had to come home it was then I realised I needed help

I constantly worry if I am going out somewhere like today I have to pick her up from preschool and I worry while walking home with her I pass out and leave her by a roadside

I have completely chickened out of taking the Sertraline and going to ask a gp for propanalol tomorrow

There is hope you just have to be willing to start meds or CBT xx

[Tink1595]

Thank you all for replying, I can relate to you all! Im so scared of driving with my son and freaking out at a red light , getting in a accident and someone being like this lady has no business driving with a young child! I am willing to do or try ANYTHING to help me! I have some new meds I am going to start this weekend! what is CBT? Worriedmummy85- what do you do when you start to feel that way ( walking home w your daughter) I feel like that too, if we walk too "far" from home i start to panic that I cant get back home in time and people might see me out panicking with my son :( I have been very hard on myself and in my darkest thoughts feel I dont deserve to be a mom :( Im trying to stay positive it is hard

[jessy]

Hi there I'm also a mother with generalised anxiety disorder , panic disorder & depression. I have a 13 year old & a 5 year old .

Like you I find driving very difficult & never go far & since having my some 5 years ago I have become very isolated & alone . I struggle every day with this , I'm 33 & I started with anxiety age 6.
Feel free to message me any time if you would like to chat . We are all here to help each other.
X

[trinidiva]

My anxiety issue started after I had my kids. I got to a point where I was scared to leave the house by myself with them....but I kind of had to force myself to do it because I can't always depend on my husband to take me everywhere. When I did do outings with them and everything went well, I felt a sense of accomplishment. You just have to force yourself to still do things even if your anxious.....it will be uncomfortable at first but it will get easier.

[ann007]

It is so nice to log in and see others going thru the same crap I am. I have a 6,4 and 3 year old and have to drive to drop off and pick up at school 3x a day, some days are so hard. I just tell myself that I cannot let anxiety keep me from doing the things I want to do. I have to realize its anxiety and once I accept that, it usually helps. Even after doing this for over a year it is still hard to convince myself its anxiety every day. Mine also started after having my last child, so crazy. Hang in there.

[worriedmummy85]

Thank you all for replying, I can relate to you all! Im so scared of driving with my son and freaking out at a red light , getting in a accident and someone being like this lady has no business driving with a young child! I am willing to do or try ANYTHING to help me! I have some new meds I am going to start this weekend! what is CBT? Worriedmummy85- what do you do when you start to feel that way ( walking home w your daughter) I feel like that too, if we walk too "far" from home i start to panic that I cant get back home in time and people might see me out panicking with my son :( I have been very hard on myself and in my darkest thoughts feel I dont deserve to be a mom :( Im trying to stay positive it is hard



I tend to get shooting chest pains when walking and start to think I am gonna have a heart attack so I take a step back and think stop your being stupid there's nothing wrong and I tend to kill the panic attack then and there

Like the other day I was walking to get her from school and I started thinking stupid thoughts so instead I distracted myself with thinking about where I was going to get an onion haha I know it sounds stupid but it took my mind off it

I want to just stress tho its thought of something more serious being wrong with me that panics me I always think of the what if

I also have good days where I feel great for a few days then I will start feeling unwell again an start freaking out

[Tink1595]

My anxiety is worse week before period, (Sorry if TMI) but I am wondering if anything can be done since it obviously seems hormonal, has anyone else felt this and or been treating to help with hormonal anxiety?

[KitahD]

I've always had OCD anxiety...but overall minor anxiety until having kids. I have a 7, 5, and 2 yr old. I think the noisiness, constant clean up, and demands for attention pushed me to a breaking point. I had a panic attack about a year ago and the anxiety has been up and down since then.

[Gemmy]

I recently had my first child back in July, a beautiful and healthy little girl. My anxiety has been on and off since I was a kid. I know how you all feel. It's a terrible feeling and lately, it has been getting in the way of me and my baby. I just can't love her the way I want because my anxiety is destroying my life. At the same time though, I don't let it bother me as much ever since I found out the fear I had was really all in my head. I still have the anxiety feelings but they're not as bad as they were a few weeks ago when I was having like 2 or more panic attacks a day. Now that I know my fear isn't real, whenever I feel panicky, I tell myself the facts and usually just goes away. My anxiety is a temporary thing. It'll bother me for a few weeks to a couple months then it'll go away like I never had it. One thing all of us suffering from anxiety need to know is that it really is all in our minds. My anxiety gets worse whenever I pay attention to the scary thoughts but when I ignore them, I feel really calm and in control. The key is to not feed the negative thoughts which I know sometime is easier said than done but once you gain control, you'll feel so much better.

[Tink1595]

Yes trying to stay more positive! Started new medication today ... nervous, excited and hopeful all at the same time!! I said a prayer and took them and now its in God's hands, I have strong faith and it helps me very much! a quote I read that I keep as the background of my phone is "When you feel like you are drowning in life, Remember that your lifeguard walks on water" please say a prayer for me as I try my new medication! I appreciate all your replies , its been a hard week! praying for you all!

[FedUp]

I can so relate! Especially the driving part! I am 36 with two boys ages 4 & 11. My youngest started preschool and I have to drive him. What a struggle that is!! So scared of passing out behind the wheel or having an anxiety attack. I force myself to go to my oldest sons karate and school functions but I can't concentrate and it's like I am not even fully there. I feel like a horrible mom. I cancelled my parent/teacher conference today because I just couldn't bring myself to go. I know I should of went anyways because I am letting anxiety control me but there are just days I can't get my mind to realize this. I cry a lot of ties because I want to be a mom and I want to be involved but it is so hard. I can't get any meds because I have no insurance and no money because I lost my job about 6 months ago. The company closed down. I am at such a loss.

[Tink1595]

You are not alone! Have you tried talking to your sons teacher and telling her you struggle with anxiety, my son is young but have already thought about what i would do if I still feel this way, I find confiding in people really helps, I was so ashamed for so long but people are actually very helpful and it has really made me see the world differently, for example I get anxious at grocery store check out lines, especially if I have alot and someone is behind me, i went to customer service and told her about how i was feeling and she helped me there and if i ever felt like that again she would get a manager to ring me up special, I cried and thanked her so much for being so kind to me! I feel like its a dirty little secret we keep but if you had a broken leg youd ask for help opening a door right right?

[trinidiva]

You are not alone! Have you tried talking to your sons teacher and telling her you struggle with anxiety, my son is young but have already thought about what i would do if I still feel this way, I find confiding in people really helps, I was so ashamed for so long but people are actually very helpful and it has really made me see the world differently, for example I get anxious at grocery store check out lines, especially if I have alot and someone is behind me, i went to customer service and told her about how i was feeling and she helped me there and if i ever felt like that again she would get a manager to ring me up special, I cried and thanked her so much for being so kind to me! I feel like its a dirty little secret we keep but if you had a broken leg youd ask for help opening a door right right?

That is so nice and as much as we all try to hide our anxiety (which becomes frustrating and tiresome) when you do share with people, more times then not, they are caring and understanding. You should call your son's teacher and let her know you weren't feeling great and perhaps she would do the conference over the phone or something? Its tough for me too....I have two kids also . If you really truly feel like you can't do it, then don't beat yourself up over it.

[FedUp]

Hmmm... Never really thought of that. I talk about it to friends and family but never strangers. I don't know I feel about talking to the teacher though because I already feel like a failure as a mom. How do you deal with the driving anxiety if you have to go somewhere and there is no one to take u? Like to your sons doctor appts.

[FedUp]

Trinidiva: the thing is is that I think too much!! It's not that I am afraid of the conference, I am afraid of having an attack during the conference. I think I can do it. I was just having a really rough day tody. Hoping Monday will be a little calmer. I always have anxiety everyday, but some days are harder to push myself to do things than other days.

[trinidiva]

Hmmm... Never really thought of that. I talk about it to friends and family but never strangers. I don't know I feel about talking to the teacher though because I already feel like a failure as a mom. How do you deal with the driving anxiety if you have to go somewhere and there is no one to take u? Like to your sons doctor appts.

You are not a failure as a mom....you are just going through a rough time, that's all. I had really bad driving anxiety too...but to be really honest with you...I had to just force myself to do it. I would leave early so I wouldn't feel rushed...and I drive a van that has a dvd system so I will usually put on a kid friendly movie to keep the kids occupied while I'm driving....so they don't fuss with each other and raise my anxiety level more. I just take my time and get there.

[ann007]

My anxiety is worse week before period, (Sorry if TMI) but I am wondering if anything can be done since it obviously seems hormonal, has anyone else felt this and or been treating to help with hormonal anxiety?


Hormones are a big factor with mine.. when I am getting my period and again when I'm ovalating. I haven't done anything to treat it, when its happening I am all about finding something but once it disappears I try not to even think about it. Maybe going on the pill or something but I don't like the idea of birthcontrol as a 35+ year old.