Cutting Again wirh anxiety- help!

[blondieqtpie]

This week after 11 years of being together I too my husband I wanted a separation. He's been verbally and emotionally abusive when he gets mad and I love him and keep hoping it gets better. He has been trying but he still slips up and I was in a previous to him abusive in every form situation so his abuse has hurt me deeply. I've cut before as a way of coping with anxiety and have started again... NOT to kill myself... For me the blood coming out of me is like the anxiety bleeding out of me. The physical pain makes me forget the emotional pain. I'm off and on .... As in stability and forgetting it but I'm really a mess--- and I have a 5&3 yr old and trying to keep it together.
And to top things off he is making me feel bad-// when I told him how I felt and his abuse he dismisses it and says I'm over reacting and too sensitive. He's called me names, shook his fist at me saying he wishes he could hit me, calls me nicknames I hate, tells me no one will want me because I'm disgusting, and when I say how I feel he always turns it around to him. He's punched walls and doors and broken things and I'm so done.
But I'm drinking more and cutting again and feel horrible. I don't want advice or to be told its ok... It's not.
If anyone who's been here can talk to me? Here or I have Kik... Private message me.

[blondieqtpie]

I cut myself again... And can't stop crying ... But Dont want to wake up my kids

[alankay]

I agree 100%. If a man hits a woman he either has an issue or is in a most unhealthy relationship in which case he should leave. He needs help and not you as a verbal or actual punching bag so either he gets help or separate from him.
You need to be seeing a pdoc on anxiety so are you? Alankay

[trinidiva]

My husband has some anger issues. He is now working on them and so far has been doing well. He used to punch walls and break things...but he is working with some people to learn more constructive ways to deal with things when he gets upset. So far, so good. Here is something that I found. ....if another man addresses the issue with him and really lets him know how unproductive and damaging his behavior is, he may be more willing to listen then if the advice is only coming from you.I know it sounds sexist but really it worked in my case.

[blondieqtpie]

My husband is not physically abusive... He's pushed me a few times but its mainly verbal ( and not pushing me to knock me down). And no I have no where to go that is close by. A friend that is a 5 hour plane trip away asked me to come stay with her but its too far and she has a two bedroom house. Me and my two kids would be in one room. And I promised my husband I'd never keep the kids from him. And his anger is directed at me not them. He gets frustrated easily with the kids when they are acting bad but that's it.
And the worse of the verbal abuse was 3 + years ago... It's not as bad now, but it still happens. Even one slip up now is enough. But I am realizing more and more the things he has done and does that is controlling and/or abusive and hurtful to me. And I know deep inside his abuse adds to my anxiety. I feel like walking on egg shells a lot.. And get deeply hurt when he gets mad at me over something trivial or something so irrational to be mad at me for
I have not cut since my first post here. Both of my ankles and one of my thighs are cut up pretty bad. It seems to help in the moment but the next day the marks look ugly. My husband and I have been talking and he's being very civil with things. He's being extra nice but I know it's to try and keep me. But I want us to be civil for our kids.

Can I ask if anyone else cuts because of Anxiety?

[JLBnole68]

I don't understand cutting or inflicting pain on one's self, so I can't address that. That sounds like something best left to a professional psychiatric doc. I hope you're getting help. I would say that verbal abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse and it sounds like your husband needs professional help as well. Both of you need to pull it together no matter what it takes, whether you remain married or you separate or divorce. You have 2 very young children, just babies, who really need their mom and their dad. Don't make them suffer as well. I doubt there's anything anyone on here can tell you that will be of much help other than to seek professional help and offer words of comfort or support. I hope for everyone's sake that you both can get back on an even keel.

[JLBnole68]

By the way, not one person on here with an ounce of common sense would tell you that abuse in any form is okay or should be tolerated.