My Peom

[Ponder]

May not be happy, but it's me & I like me.

No Title ... it's just an exercise in Metric writing. I have lot's to learn ... but it's been fun and feels good getting stuff out like this.

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Complacency runs deep in society,
Drugged up on happiness and lots of fun,
That modes of sadness are left unattended.

Far be it for those underneath to raise their
Hands and have their say, lest it pertain to
Giving, supplying and or admiring.

Those emotional Badge wearing sufferers,
Have no authority to even speak.
How dare they try, but “I” say, leave them be!

The expanding gap that leads to scales tipping,
reveals the poisonous act of deception;
In which feeds the mind beyond capacity,
that desperately seeks for some kind of end .
So it is that I accept by embracing
That whatever is, exists in my mind.
How much more imprinting can humans take? -

[Ponder]

I like it ... it's how I often feel and why I can't think that straight. I pose a question that seeks to go on rather than end. I hope I can continue to keep writing and not quit that as well.
Peace Out.
Dave.

[Perses]

Impressive Ponder!

So, those who are complacent are happy and having fun because they are drugged up. Those that live "underneath" are silenced or censored. Kept quiet unless they help perpetrate the happiness of those on top by supporting them through (I'm guessing, here,) labor, services, or sycophantic admiration. Those who suffer have no right to speak because they ruin the party for those on top. Alternate reading: This could all be happening in the same mind. The mind is drugged and complacent and tamps down on suffering because it would rather, to bring in Homer here, live with the Lotus Eaters.

So, the last stanza seems harder to parse through, although there are some great images here. Is the expanding gap between suffering and complacency. What is the mind's capacity? Is this the mind's capacity to suffer? Or the mind's capacity for self-delusion? Or is it that a mind so pressured by outside "imprinting" can only take so much. What end is the mind looking for? Death? Overstimulation? An end to the complacency?

That whatever is, exists in my mind. -- Ah, this sounds a bit like Sufism, Buddhism and Hinduism, and maybe Decartes? Not sure. But here's a question back, and you'll remember that my PhD is in lit, so I am intrigued by this question in a general sort of way. - When a writer expresses himself for an audience, does he not then acknowledge that that something exists outside of his mind. His writing becomes his means of communicating, and, thus, breaking past the self-imposed barrier of solitary existentialism.

Anyway, you'd probably enjoy the poems of Emily Dickinson. Thanks for putting this up. Enjoyed it.

[Ponder]

They are nothing but Plebs regarded as incapable of making decisions. Lacking in words to impress those that sleep so easily. I like your use of the Lotus eaters.

Sixteen lines was a bit much for me, but I guess that's why it was called an exercise. :) The part about "Whatever exist in my mind..." comes from Eckhart Tolle. ... How the mind "fights for control" by suppressing us with past & future keeping us from living and experiencing now. That's very much how the Media works and fills our minds. My dilemma is being unable to switch this feeding frenzy off which is bringing about early dementia like symptoms for me.

Thank You for your question:
"When a writer expresses himself for an audience, does he not then acknowledge that that something exists outside of his mind. His writing becomes his means of communicating, and, thus, breaking past the self-imposed barrier of solitary existentialism."
.....".....does he not then acknowledge that that something exists outside of his mind." ".........breaking past the self-imposed barrier of solitary existentialism."

My Processing here:
__________________________________
1st -> Existentialism according to Google search a Top of Page:
noun
noun: existentialism

1.
a philosophical theory or approach which emphasizes the existence of the individual person as a free and responsible agent determining their own development through acts of the will.
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Wikipedia goes on to explain that this theory become popular after WWII (interesting perspective) ... much has changed since then. IMO it may be possible that this theory may have become victim to the mind itself. HMMMM "self imposed" Forgive me as I usually miss the point of a question and such has plagued me with such thinking.

Yes, I acknowledge what exists outside of my mind, however now that I have hopefully clarified the context of my use of mind (mind control) ... I ponder on your mention of "self imposed barrier "of" this "philosophical theory" of Individuality, free choice and will"

I take a line from someone who reconstructed my Poem to help me better understand the finer point of meter:

"But plebs are ill-equipped to make decisions"

Alas it is that I now say ... "what choice" ... things have indeed moved beyond since the time this theory became popular ... Wikipedia ->Existentialism became popular in the years following World War II, and strongly influenced many disciplines besides philosophy, including theology, drama, art, literature, and psychology.[13]

I can smell too much "are So you blame politics and religion for your drug taking" attitude with this adopted theory ... a Passing the Buck phrase so typically dealt back in some kind of pathetic reasoning to whatever story being justified for the pleasure of others. I can see some merit in it, but the reality of self indulgence with our minds evolution with what it now be in a world to "progressed" ... "enriched" ... and whatever sugar coated words one can think to sweeten the deception ...

I can only spit at the thought that we Plebs are said to have a choice. Especially when considering those learned fellows claim that we uneducated types are so ill-equipped to make decisions. Pathetic is the reuslt that abounds and yes, death is sort by many as opposed to living such enriched lives. Just as Nations sort riches and control, from their rising in the said popular time period of -Post WWII - they are now self consuming and lost in their drama, art, literature and psychology.


Sorry Perses ... I tried to explain that I get lost often when trying to answer thing or even think ...

Who is my audience ... My audience is me. Whilst I would like to reach others or even say so ... it is me that I am trying to reach beneath all this BS so preach of Choice and Freedom in a world that muzzles those ill-equipped who begin to look as though they have some tools and may go off on their own. It's mass media that imposes on self ...to the individual, that either you become part of the collective or you become ill-equipped left in want.

I self impose nothing other than to unlearn the post war dogma of those spoiled minds, enriched on the glorification and deception that seeks to control just as Eckhart teaches of the mind. So it is that for sure I acknowledged, what lays outside, like a bat with sonar set to extreme. ;)

PS apologies for syntax and grammar errors ... I am too tired to fix now.

[Ponder]

Again I apologize Perses. I can see myself still resisting and I must seem selfish when I say my audience is me. It's hard not to offend when I try to explain or sift through this mess. So many words that box in. I'm going to have to watch or simply enlarge my vocab if I can remember. I probably have not answered your question and fear in doing so have exposed myself all the more. You have been patient with me ... I thank you for that.

Edit .... just came across this .... Emily Dickinson, regarded as one of America’s greatest poets, is also well known for her unusual life of self imposed social seclusion Very interesting ... on two fronts ... the context of self imposed and your recommendation. Thinking about buying one of her books on Amazon Now.

What I would really like is a Book of collected Poems that are against Greed, Power Mongers, Money, Religion, Patriotism, Nationalism and all that kind of thing. Like that William Wordsworth one "The World With Us is Too Much" although I might of read it wrong. Unfortunately, they seem to be only one in a million (unpopular & detrimental), I'll keep looking and see if such a book exists.

Edit ... Hey ... this Emily Dickinson sounds interesting. Not sure I really care for the works that have been altered though ... or more so tainted IMO. I don't like the idea of changing peoples words. Especially not from a person of the Character I am reading about. I know there are reasons, but cared less for those with every new version of the Bible from comes out each day. Distrust plays high on my list, because we humans are Distrustful things! Thought you might like to know, I am looking into your recommendation.

Edit again!!! LOL ... Seems getting a book with Poems that were actually written in her own words can be a dicey affair. Some bad reviews claiming that many critics have re-written her to sound out what they think and not Emily. Do you know of a book that claims to have long lest letters of hers at all??? Perhaps that should be my search string. ...... adios ... I fear I will fall victim to hype when punching in my numbers for the price . :(

[Perses]

Hi Ponder,

Thanks for all your thoughtful responses. I feel like I'm back in graduate school!!! I probably shouldn't have used the term "existentialism" so cavalierly. Shouldn't be mixing too much with WWII philosophies I know only from reading a bit of Sartre, way back in high school. :) I've heard of Eckhart Tolle, but haven't read anything by him.

It's a fine piece of work, Ponder. Absolutely, I think one's first audience is one's self. This question of audience is one that I often bring up with students in order to get them to analyze the poem not only, to quote Wordsworth,as "a spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings" but also a careful construction of the poet's craft.

Here's a site I regularly look at for poetry: www.poetryfoundation.org. Yes, I think you are reading Wordsworth the right way. Ah, the Romantics!

Well, Emily Dickinson's archives just went online yesterday -- a joint Amherst-Harvard production. http://www.edickinson.org/

Here's one of my fave Dickinson poems



After great pain, a formal feeling comes –
The Nerves sit ceremonious, like Tombs –
The stiff Heart questions ‘was it He, that bore,’
And ‘Yesterday, or Centuries before’?


The Feet, mechanical, go round –
A Wooden way
Of Ground, or Air, or Ought –
Regardless grown,
A Quartz contentment, like a stone –


This is the Hour of Lead –
Remembered, if outlived,
As Freezing persons, recollect the Snow –
First – Chill – then Stupor – then the letting go –

[Ponder]

All good about the word "existentialism" :) I looked that one up a while ago and found it to be rather interesting from a spiritual perspective as was my Demeanor
at that time. The part about the post WW2 popularity - I found interesting in as much as considering how people have been affected over time as a result from various events. How the thinking of humanity in different parts of the world has evolved into what it is now. I'm not sure what that kind of study that would be called, but I think it's interesting to understand from such a perspective. I don't mean just trying to understand one era & one famous person, I mean more like the evolution of events and the pattern of thinking that have since, evolved.

I'm doing it again aren't I?

I have not been well and really getting Irate in the Face Book local Newspaper Page. I don't care for my name or what others think of it, whilst amongst all the hate - people direct at each other on such Pages. To think these are community pages full of hype and controversy with so much bigotry and bickering over right and wrong. I've been feeding right into myself, when I really should be bunking down with learning better ways in which to express.

Thank you for the Links.

That Poem makes me think of quite a few things. I'm thinking Emily knows well, what's it's like to be part of the Living Dead; but then I'm only knew to poetry & have a long way to go before I can really hear.

Thanks again for your insights. I hope I can share in here again soon.
Dave.

[Ponder]

Exercise 5

Trains by Night Parks by Day:

When sitting still and all alone
Amidst the people passing by.
My muddled mind begins to moan;
I cup my hands and start to cry.

I’m thankful for the inbound trains
That mask the pain inside my head.
The constant noise helps dull the shame
Of one more night without a bed.

With morning rush now moving on,
And hunger setting in,
I stalk and creep across the lawn,
And eat what food I find.

With midday sun now on the Grass
my eyes give in and close.
I still fret from those walking past,
As shame begins to grow.

Days and nights fly on by me
Feelings fade; then disintegrate
One no longer cares for being
What was once within – Is now dead ... ... ____________________________________
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TIME WARP -> I managed to change the last stanza or whatever they are called to at least fit a little to the exercise objective .... despite how hopeless it ends. (hopeless case - I was seen to be and still am held so by myself to much degree ... hopefully not ... its like what was, was - hmmmm ... it's still within and that's all that matters.) Alas that's why healing can be a long life affair and resentments run deep.

One quatrain short, but too tired now. First two are iambic 8 syllable tetrameter with the second two quatrains -> alternating iambic tetrameter and trimeter with last one trochaic with soft endings on second on last line. or such as I tried.

Edit -> ... Had to revise it! Really struggling in the last quatrain with the Trochee weak endings -2nd/4th line (actually trying to keep it in Trochee all the way there is hard for me) GRRRR on the last line ... so hard that one???
Trochee line has to be like = Stress/soft Stress/soft Stress/soft Stress/soft Stress/soft Stress/soft Stress/soft Stress/soft Well actually not soft more like "unstressed" NOT soft ... the syllable end is suppose to be weak though /2nd&4th line. Going to give this all a break now.

[Ponder]

I'll study this myself later ... It really gets into the core of how stigma can tear a homeless person apart. I had to rise above all that "whilst" living that life, lest I be dead like many of my long lost friends. The last part is more about how constant exposure to the imposing views/stares of others ... (far from "self imposed" - although that does comes later) ... rips away, layer by layer, that well sort after confidence that consumers seek.

Having no escape ... sleeping as low as one can go ... amongst western attitudes ... meeting those stares and taking them in ... cuts very very deep. I would say more damaging than other places where such living in not so scorned but more "accepted" ... (Very challenging stuff in as much, to remain objective and keep an audience, that would do well, to hear these things.) To be continued ... ->>>>

[Ponder]

Now there's a dilemma, how much does one cut down the truth, he best knows, in order to favor those he wishes to read his words, so that they may learn as I would claim - to of done by remaining open to the the insights of another. Far be it for me, to turn into that pompous snob who write so critically ... yet my emotion runs so deep that I fear I shall be regarded as hypocritical & no doubt bias. Humility may not reign supreme ... yet seems the best way to go, regardless of those sharks that rely on such submission. Expose them for what they are, and remain humble to self ... that way no submission need be given (to those whom abuse it -> whilst acceptance can still be directed where it does it's best. Guilt -> I shall reject such a notion that an individual should have to even prove - themselves to another on such a Basis as in the West (appearance, status & education) . Hmmm ... resistant yet required to disempower "those that seek -> to impose a welfare mentality" on those who are found undesirable and or less able - to make dependent and discourage those that disconnect/independent and or seek to be self sufficient-off gridd & ect ... Time to reconstruct. Feel the need for another Poem.

[Perses]

Awesome, I like this one for the simple story it tells. As someone who lives in NYC, I daily see homeless people sleeping in the subways, where it's warm at night, or sleeping in the parks during the day time. There's also a really excellent tension created between the poet as isolated individual -- isolated by society and I see a bit of a self-imposed isolation in the last lines -- and between someone who was once a passer-by, who still, I think, wants to be a part of those who pass by. I picture this rail station full of commuters going about their lives, lives full of direction, purport, energy. (I often muse when sitting in the subway about the lives of others and what confluence of events has led us all to congregate in this one car never to see each other again). The poet is also participating in this rush of coming and going. First, the poem is structured by time - the day begins, the morning rush, the midday sun. Second, the poet's one mind is passing through successive stages of despair and alienation.

Wish I could comment on the rhyme and scansion, but that I can't hear at all, alas.

Nice work.

[Ponder]

It gladdens me to see you come along Perses. This poem is getting some good Tuition for the technical aspects in a British Poetry Forum which I am honored to be part of, just as I am for you to spend such time with me, as I value your feedback as much as any over there.

I find your reply stirs much with in me, and I use such a word as the term provoke tend towards building walls that hem people in. So it is that I shall try to remain engaging on this topic and let you know what your reply brings to my mind and where it is that I currently stand. By the same token, I understand how tiring it can get to read of others whom require great walls of text in which to create, paint, and or make sense. Like my Poem ... this thread is evolving.
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Where do I stand? Well at the moment this whole act of Poetry has placed me, "on my back" sleeping on a bench amongst the people passing by at Kings Cross Subway Station in Australia's Capital City - Sydney. The era is the mid 80's in which both electronics and the economy were booming! The stark contrast to that alone was also heightened from the position, of arriving from an isolated cattle station some 2000km up north and my young age of 16 with the mentality of a kid who'd already been long rejected both by his mother, and the various foster homes, churches, ranches, schools, and state facilities. The short story of that, is whilst most of these previous places and events might be considered emplacements, for me as some kind of guide and tool in which I must learn life; the fact remains I was an easy target in each and everyone those situations and I was beaten, ridiculed, cuddled, beaten, ridiculed, cuddled and so on. Perhaps not all in that order ... although that was very much the pattern within the religious sector of that grouping.

OK ... so now I'm on my back, with this predisposition already instilled ... I tried to return to what I thought was a slim possibility to finding a reprieve with Mum, as Mum will always be Mum & is more so these days. :) ... Unfortunately Mum was not so willing, as in her mind these other places had served me well and any rejection that resulted, was due to my difficulties. (l was unable to convey the abuse to my mother, which I think is typical of abuse victims & my mother shuts down very quickly when stressed (AKA systemic inbuilt predisposition that actually goes back to WW2/England Bombardment and possible on that note the extensive Jewish background)

Hmmmmm ... Oh The Story ... Well the Rancher was the last straw for me ... the rejection yet again from my mum, had all but crushed me. I think somehow then, whatever little resemblance of mothers son that was left within ... Died. ---> To be continued
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OK ... now I'm reading your response again ... I see your intention here is genuine and warm Perses. That's why I am trying very hard to be Objective whilst no doubt attached and blinded to the position of others. I can't say I have a good view of what it is to be a passer by ... In fact in the same way I could attempt to explain, that the unfolding events that lead me to this bench on which I lay is in no way "self imposed" It was most defiantly one hell of a journey, but I see nothing self imposed about about my decisions of ending up so Isolated laying on that bench as I did. There was nothing voluntary about those events, as although it was appropriate for others to pretend I was much older, I was still very much a child and limited in the decisions making process. Nothing personal with your use of the term, but it's yet again, I raise the point that such a term comes across offensively and more often than not appears to me and others who may of both lived or are experianceing such a journey; that the term has an air of "passing the buck, laying blame or redirecting something which appears threatening, conflicting and or to challenging" I assume nothing of your use with it, but aim simply tell you, why I struggle with such terms, and also saddened that I find so many people being so assuming of others. My self Included! I am really not stable and is why I take meds ... I am still very much from this extreme person now doing his best to remain so Objective, yet if I remain non functional out in public because of the triggers that set me off ... I wonder who would choose to tell me, that such is all "self imposed" ... There is nothing wrong with the amusing itself, it's just that we all assume to much, too often.

I don't want to be a Passer By ... They are desensitized and as sad as it is to say, interested only in themselves. They are blinded by a misguided focus that is driven by the economy built on corrupt ideals that are quite evident in our planets sickening state, as too the rising numbers of mentally ill. NOW how can I assume anything after just saying we assume too much. Well for one, I'm not personalizing it to anyone individual and I do relate such, to perhaps a unique perspective that I have lived. I'm attempting to learn from it and in that process rid myself of much the resentment that's ingrained. By making such efforts like these: (I may not want to be a passer by, "as I have picture them" ... but I do want to connect with others ----> and yes to those walking by :)

YES ... Now to that point at which the boy is dead! I suppose I am to blame and I must accept responsibility for all the "crimes to come" I'll accept "self imposed" does comes about and has meaning ... a Time for learning from ones mistakes must ultimately begin! Absolutely we are accountable ... but it's to ourselves that such holds weight. There has always been a spiritual part to me that has never given in and actually grown much to which gave me strength to endure the trials as they unfolded. I am deeply upset to of discovered the deception commonly used in religion; but with regards to spiritually, I believe we all have our own lessons, responsibilities, accounts and so on. The point here, is how I felt this inner me during all the suffering - the insights there can be rather enlightening when I reflect on such. That's the whole point of me being able to draw on much of this and write as I must. ----------> time for a break now and get some chores out of the way.

[Ponder]

My Poem updated as Follows:

Trains by Night Parks by Day

Whilst sitting still and all alone
Amidst the people passing by.
My muddled mind begins to moan;
I cup my hands and start to cry.

I’m thankful for the inbound trains
That masks the pain inside my head,
The constant noise that dulls the shame,
Yet one more night without a bed.

With morning rush now past its mark
And hunger setting in,
I scan in search across the park
For food left by the bins.

The sun now high with bright green grass,
My eyes give in and close.
I still fret from those that walk past
Whilst shame begins to grow.

Heart beats out of sync, now grows weak,
feelings fading - now noth-ing left;
Days – and - Nights, become one long beat,
What was – once - with-in, is - now - dead … … _______________

[Ponder]

So as my son would say, "That's a cools story Dad, so where to from here?" I really don't feel the need to go on with that whole saga of crime, prison, Rehabs, drugs, sex, suicide, and all the other dark stories that so many people seem to either crave or glorify. Whilst I had my taste of all those affairs, the truth is that the majority of homeless people I met up with, were more victims than perpetrators. My brother could not believe that I actually ate off the street. The biggest difference between my brother and I, was that he did a LOT more time in prison than me. Now I was not exactly an angle, and I'm sad to say I did in fact end up doing some very bad things. Some I was sent to goal for and others I paid for in different ways - and still do to this day. I actually felt bad about having to prey on others in order to survive ... so much so, that yes, I would prefer to pick up food - that others had thrown onto the street.

There is nothing glorifying about hurting others ... yet the reality of living with no shelter, no job and no hope can drive people either of three things. Predator, Prey & or Both. There is another option and whilst street wise comes to mind, it's much more simpler than that. Compassion. :) ----->>>> Time to cook and clean ... back later.

[Ponder]

You know something Perses, your a Good Passer Byer and that makes feel hopeful. Also brings a tear to my eye.

[Ponder]

Before I head of to Bed ... I'd like to share the following. It's something that my daughter sent to us. Whilst all my children remain open to the suffering of others, I am really pleased to see how compassionate my daughter is of others, and how much she is always looking out for me. Again, I do not mean to make the thread entirely about me ... I do need however to come up with another topic for another Poem, but before that ... please do consider the following presentation:


“The Homeless are probably one of the most negatively stereo typed groups in our society.” Jack Dovidio, Yale University

Today's By Passers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IhGSCC3LlI

What Jack Dovido has to say about the homeless lady, (Linda Hamilton) who was the only one, to the aid of the fallen man with the beer can ... is not only true, but give me hope that he can truly understand what is unfolding. The misery of seeing human kind making such judgement before aiding another is quite debilitating, yet the way this women walks on make me proud to of been homeless! It's easy to say what one would do, but to see it like this ... is to see the the stigma in action and how it literally leaves homeless people walking in circles and crying out ... when it comes to asking for help. Unfortunately this is where we are at as a society, and we need more people like Linda Hamilton to simply keep asking others to call for help ... Do note, that once one person steps in, another then comes forward. It may not register as quick as a well dressed individual hitting the pavement, but it's a start in the right direction.

I hope it brings a tear to ones eye... to the truth beyond what words could possibly convey. If we can't experience the sadness of it all, then how can any of us move on ...............

I hope you find this one more inspiring as I did. I ponder on the community variables between the two different towns/city ... We Humans are quite a complex creation and easily shaped which creates the stereo types to being with. None the less ... the community spirit in this video is again rather inspiring and hopeful.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mC5O8YNX1hQ

Not so the reality of youth setting out to torture these victims. None the less, I would see that, in itself more as a reflection that community spirit is not as helpful as it may appear to be when comparing one group with another ... HMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ... Interesting!
It does not surprise me the youth are Canadian as they Have a similar welfare mentality to that of Australia. Although western ... we are not quite Americanized yet and homelessness in our nations is quite despised and seen as very lowest of lowes ... SELF IMPOSED ... if you get my drift.

I'll be upfront Perses and let you know I have a lot of Anti American Sentiment. However despite that, I see much of the same corruptions happening in our own country, as well as others whom wish to aspire to great heights. In saying that ... I do believe the Australian Gov't is more ill-equipped than the homeless themselves when it comes to administering it's laws and policies than what your nation has fared with it's citizens ... given the poor state of those millions Americans under those few elites ... I do believe hard times are going to roll very hard in places like Australia and Canada very soon ... Money is BS, as our problem is the bitterness that rides sky high. Per capita Australians are becoming much violent and set the records for mental illness that requires intervention. Again, the fact that it's Canadian kids youtubing themselves beating up the homeless on such a scale, kind of confirms that our so called glorious welfare system not the be end all ...

I don't wear my illness like a badge, I wear it so that others can see the cost of their living. I guess that's self imposed too hey ... Just kidding. It is just as reactionary as one that claims we sick one play on our illness. The only thing I wear is crinkled seconds which in no way affects my vibe.


Moving on ............................. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzz

[Ponder]

Must be hard living the middle class life. I understand the reservations here. Feeling for those unable to utilize such technology. How blessed we all must be. ... Such audiences are always hard to prick when it comes to such reality. You end up becoming the buzz kill. What's with all the texting on the telly lately? I thought face book and reality TV would be enough, but now people texting live on the telly ... Talk about emotional porn. I really shouldn't talk though. These forums are kind of like emotional porn in a way? Can't believe how people walk about still connected down the street ... If they did not have a phone to look at, I wonder if they would be walking with head hanging so low. Sad really ... straight from the tube into the car to be greeted yet again and then out with the phone when one reaches their destination. So glad I don't have one!

Do people ever get sick of pumping themselves up? Can be an awful long way to come down. A new addiction to "being liked" in as much the same way, I am constantly seen to be pissing in the wind. LOL ... Now now Dave ... I love making these little spaces of mine. I guess I can see why the therapist suggests to do it off line, but there really is something to this whole thing of even thinking one has an audience. So what did I get done today ????? I clean the shed some more with my wife ... went shopping with my wife ... so that's all good. Been eating a lot of late ... not so good ... Huge Bill for electricity came ... $700.00 plus ...OMG ... guess I'll sell one of the cars and make a whopping 500, if I'm lucky. Wow ... life's sure tough up at the top. Again LOL ...

Can't wait till will leave this God forsaken town ... well actually, I don't believe in a God ... we'll just blame the state of consuming to those seeking such prosperous and enriched lives. Poor kids ... unfortunately one of our wants to stay behind, but we'll have a room on standby for when the do-gooders are through rejecting her, someone is going to have to keep a door open. Problem with all the charity in our town, if so much religion and expectation to follow it ... those that do not are quickly discarded and seen as nothing more than deserving of their self harming ways.

Very very sad ... seeing that kind of sugar coated corruptions unfolding in all the mediums of today makes reaming Zen quite hard. I think I had too much sugar today, so will call that self imposed. LOL I love learning new phrases. On another note, which I am sure will throw more than just a few noses out of joint, I had no Idea that Poetry was full of so many snobs. Man ... If only the lower classes would throw up on all the addictions they are fed and learn a little, what I would give to see a revolution of the underclasses throwing the distasteful waste such well-equipped people leave behind in their wake. Unfortunately, flash the poor ones a bit of currency, throw then a uniform, and call the act of cleaning up after those on top - a Job and bobs your uncle ... another mindless slave to the matrix drugged up on prosperity which requires a permanent connection to something other than themselves. Very Very sad indeed.

So who want's to be friends.......Hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa Just kidding. I know very well I am banging my head against a brick wall here. I also agree with my wife, that a large part of my alienation, is my incessant need to raise such injustices with middle class audiences. I think I already said that ... but now you know how the idea was prompted. I guess I am a professional low life ... but I have my reasons for standing my ground amidst so many who would regard me as so. No I would not even bother trying to put that into any kind of context. Just pumping it out as any other might do in their own threads, feeding off each other and all that jazz. Actually, I've always said, I like to filter out the people that represent what I detest, and any left over willing to connected, I'll regard much more than a thousand likes and or subscriptions!

Had a weird dream last night ... very weird ... vaguely remember though ... Was like a white horse but a Centaur. Not half man, instead a young women. Although at first I think it was a plain horse. I was like hiking and running about some ravine devoid of water which was rather windy and went on for some distance. Out of the blue the white horse comes over, rather frail and exhausted. I in turn was suddenly taken back by the despair that was emanating like so. (at the moment Max, our beautiful dog in on his lasts legs. He is also colored white, so when I saw the horse in such distress running towards me ... well I'm thinking this is where my empathy really came from) ... So anyways ... I open my arms to catch the horse and next thing we are both laying on the incline of the ravines dry bed. NOW the horse head & neck, transforms into that of a young women ... from there, I replaying the image of the white horse, now as a centaur woman running across the ravine into my arms, where I'm hugging and stroking, like I would my dog, in an attempt to appease, the obvious despair and pain from this unbeknown creation, as the life in her, slips away and she passes by. Upon waking shortly after, I was then worrying about weather this was about my dog ... or was something going to happen to one of my daughters ... or what the hell was that!

Now is that wired or what? Perhaps it's the medication messing with my head. I've read somewhere that meds can contribute to people having weird dreams.

Well that's my Bash and Rave for the day ... again time to go Cook & Clean. ... could care less about editing today ... fact is, I'm really only speaking to myself, lest Perses still thinks it's worth coming back. To those that resonate ... I say, Be Well!

Dave ... the self imposed sick individual. ;)

[Perses]

Dear Dave,

Well, admittedly, I have a middle class existence. I don't have a cell phone nor am I on facebook nor do I watch TV. Frankly, I've spend a lot of years immersed in academia, which is a pretty closed off world, so, if you wish, you could say that my isolation is self-imposed. Right now, I'm out of work, so if it weren't for my mom, I'd be homeless. My response to your poems was to read them as works of art rather than expressions of your own life history. Sorry to have offended. It sounds like you had a miserable upbringing. And it sounds like you are highly committed to social justice for all. The group therapy that I attend is filled with persons who are all either in shelters or rely heavily on government assistance -- really, it's impressive to see how much help is available to people who have nothing, even in a capitalist bastion like New York City. You are welcome to criticize America. I am not one who believes in American exceptionalism, and have plenty to criticism my government for. Health care over here is a real mess.

[Ponder]

I don't care where you sit on the Ladder Perses, (I respect you for the individual you are) as despite the imprinting so many of us are subjected too, my miserable existence has taught me that such superficiality is what dehumanizes our society (all be if for others to refer to as homeless people as human beings. I find such a statement to be an irony of sorts and see much "reflection" to be had for all with regards to the unfolding of the above presentations linked) My mention of middle class in more in the context of predisposition. We all have one to some degree. Your right - yes I do seek to for social justice for all. That's a nice way to put it. I seek more "equality" across the entire spectrum, such as money, provisions and status. I seek for the rich to give up what they have and share it with others, to work for the same purpose as others and also to receive the same as others. But alas, not even the preppers can share what they have, so I guess it comes down to human fallibility.

Sensitivities running high in a modern world is to be expected. It was never your use of the term"self imposed" that pricked mine. It seems to be used in Poetry quite a lot and just one of many phrases I need to grapple with. I really do appreciate your interest in my Poem and also that you consider it Art. I struggle with the term also of one being an Artist ... There no doubt I seem to be too subjective, even though I strive to be objective. In saying that though, I think I'm making ground as I don't believe one should disconnect totally from the past ... hmmm forgive me, as grapple here but I'm thinking we don't want to live in the past - but hold true to the lessons and experiences we have journey through and if drawing from that helps to make sense of perceiving beyond the hopelessness of what I continue to see, then doing so is not so much as living in the past, but as I say, merely drawing from it. That's my intention at any rate. If anything, I need to look more subjectively from the position of others, so that I can better travel through the minds withing whatever social class.

I'm still just telling myself these things, and although doing it in this medium, I guess in many ways I just rambling to the wind as if pushing a shopping trolley with no place to go. I'm yet to find my worth and or understand the need for it, or perhaps purpose would be a better word. We all have an instilled sense of worth no matter how much it may be effect with whatever lessons are thrown at it. Purpose is no doubt key and I got that with your description of everyone flowing by in the scheme of things ... It's just that I'm one of many disillusioned that question the purpose of where it is, that people seamlessly traveling each day along the same old routes without question whilst the lines in there face deepen from the same old expressions, regardless if it be joy or depression. The separation of those two qualities and the walls built between them ...........

Anyways ............. Yea services abound, but it's the "need" I'm on about. What would be good is to rid ourselves of the need for such services. The stigma, not the services. I could go into the reasons on Necessity Vs Compassion when it comes to services for the homeless. All the way from Sanitation to out of mind out of sight. It's sad to say, but I've read a few article about the proposition of removing the homeless from one city by offering free transport to other areas with no real plan in place. But again, the situation is a little different for us, as for what has been evolving for some time in your country, is only just now peaking for us. The new government now taking the reigns in my country has given me much more to worry about than anti western attitude I've been pinning over for some time. In that regard, despite saying all the right things and then the by passers leaving the homeless man for dead ... at least America has way stations likened to those in the would be Documentary's of a cataclysmic event with the implementation of emergency service points, in some attempt to keep the body count down.

Australia on the other hand ... they don't don't even bother to walk around them, they just step on them and keep going. This life of exceptionalism as you so well put it ... Hmmmm ... I think of it like this. American TV in the 80's was like our baby's milk and man - how we craved to be just like those characters "in" the telly. That's the life! --------> goto go now ... but I'm thinking how much we lost along the way of whatever sense of belonging people once had, and I'm not talking that nationalist patriotic craps they instill in school kids - although it did not sound so bad when it was about old bush ballads, and the great artists of the past - that I did not mind - in fact any kind of lessons to be had from the past through the hardships of those who suffered in order to make some kind of life and live it ... has now been completely lost to but those whom look at such things as mere paintings on nothing more - Community spirit is dead with regards to wholeness and being one. Replaced with sporting heroes that themselves have evolved into modern day gladiator within a society destined to the great glories of Rome and it's downfall!"

Anyways ........ nice chatting once again. I like how I touched downed on the end there. Much has been lost to this new way of life .... both our attempt to assimilate and be assimilated as is the quest to dominate in the name of peace ... yet domination is what reigns supreme and to this irony and or hypocrisy what a mess it is, in which we must find our place. bla bla blaaaa blaaaaaaaa

All good though ... As an artist ... it's great to sit and think. I was born and raised in the bush. It’s really hard to keep up even in the small towns as they too, like Britannia … are under siege.

I got lots to do today ... I'm feeling quite OK actually and will no doubt sift till I'm told to move along. Really appreciate your response ... as it's positive and it indeed helps! ;)

Peace Out and Hope your sleeping well brother/sister.