Help me

[LornaLoo]

I know this isn't necessarily anxiety related but I don't know where else to turn.
I found out on Wednesday that my dad has cirrhosis of the liver and theyre not sure how serious it is. Not only can it lead to liver failure but it could be cancer. I can't lose my dad. He's my rock. I'm terrified that it's all going to turn out for the worst and all I want is for him to be ok. I'm so so scared. Why do bad things happen to good people? My dad doesn't even drink so why did this happen to him.

[tailspin]

Hi LornaLoo. I'm so very sorry to hear about your Dad's diagnosis. That is a huge blow for anyone, let alone if you are already dealing with an anxiety disorder. When do you find out more about your Dad's condition? It sounds like he is having further tests? I know that when my Dad was very sick it helped me a bit to ask as many questions as possible about his treatment and just to become very involved in what was going on and to try and educate myself about different approaches to treatment etc. This helped occupy my mind a bit with something that felt halfway useful and so it prevented me to a small extent from leaping forwards with my thoughts to the worst possible scenario.

Do you live with your Dad? Is he still together with your Mum? I hope your whole family can come together and give each other tons of support. I'm wishing you and your Dad the very best, LornaLoo. Please let us know how things are going.

[LornaLoo]

Thanks for your concern :) it helps so much to hear from someone.
Yes I live with both my parents and they are still together. I'm 20 years old and have a younger brother (18) and sister (16)
It's a huge blow as I've literally only just been signed off by my councillor this week :/ I'm not sure when he gets his next set of results but he has more texts in a couple of weeks time.
I'm trying to ask as many questions as possible but at the same time I'm terrified.

[tailspin]

Big hugs to you!! I am so, so sorry about this. I'm really glad your family all live together though, so that you can all support each other through this. I know how terrifying it is when our parents have a serious illness. I'm an only child and I've always been very close to my parents. I'm much older now - I'm 49 - but I'm still very close to my Mum. When I was in my 20's my Mum was diagnosed with breast cancer and I was devastated. Really devastated. Luckily my Mum made it through her surgery and radiation treatment, and even though she had a recurrence of the cancer 10 years later and required more surgery, she is now doing really well and she's 74. So it is possible to survive even really serious illness.

Please try and hold on to some hope, because there may well be some viable and successful treatment options for your Dad. I do know how hard this is though. My heart goes out to you, LornaLoo! Also, don't forget to continue to take care of yourself. All the things you were doing before to help with your anxiety, keep on doing them.

I'm thinking of you and wishing you and your family the very best.

[LornaLoo]

Im so glad your mum got through it and is doing well now :) sounds like you're really close! I'm close with my family too which I guess is a good thing as it means my dad will have so much support through it all. Makes it even harder to imagine life without him though. I'm trying to think positive though, hopefully there will be something to keep him healthy and help him through it. I'm really hoping it doesn't come back as cancer.

Thanks for your help tailspin, it's great to speak to someone whose been through something similar x

[tailspin]

I'm keeping everything crossed for you, LornaLoo. How is your Dad holding up? Hopefully he is at home?

Wishing you all the very best xxxxxxxxxxxxx

[LornaLoo]

Yeah he is at home luckily :)
He's holding up ok. Telling us all there's nothing to be upset about because we don't know anything yet. Trying to stay positive. I've heard him and my mum crying a couple of times though so I know it's getting to him more than he lets on. He went through a really bad bout of depression a few years ago so I guess it scares me incase all this triggers that again too. He seems ok though and I'm trying to stay positive for him xxxxxx

[tailspin]

Sending more hugs!! It brought tears to my eyes when I read that you've heard your Mum and Dad crying together. It's so heartbreaking to see our parents hurting. Especially Dads somehow. I guess because we're so used to them being stoic. It can be really upsetting and scary when they cry. And they probably don't much like crying in front of us. But I think it's healthy for them to let their feelings out and I'm so glad your Mum was there to comfort him. Even if she was crying too, I bet it helped them both to just be able to cry together. And regarding your Dad's previous depression, I'm sure his doctor will be able to help him with that by prescribing some medication if the depression does threaten again.

Life just hurts so much sometimes!!! And I'm so sorry for all the pain and worry you and your family are going through, LornaLoo.

Sending tons of positive thoughts your way.