workingtheday
10-24-2013, 07:34 PM
Hello all!
Want to begin by wishing you all the best of health. As I stated in the title, and to elaborate slightly, I'm looking to begin an open topic for people who suffer from anxiety and or panic who have had or are going to have AVR (aortic valve replacement, which I have had), or suffer from any true heart ailment additionally. I'm not looking to limit this discussion in any way. Any and all posts surrounding this topic are welcome. Whether it be your personal story, techniques that have/are helping you, reaching out for support from others, just venting, basically anything that someone who has had AVR/ open heart surgery or a heart problem, and also has issues with anxiety or panic of any sort. I realize there are many other posts in regards to this on varying levels, I just thought I would start something fresh.
To begin, and I'll attempt to keep this brief not knowing what type of response this topic may or may not receive, I had AVR about 8 years ago. I am now 39 years old. Even prior to my diagnosis of aortic regurgitation two years before my surgery at the age of 29, I had developed what was apparently an anxiety disorder going back to about the age of 25. This is the age that I had my first "panic attack". It was horrifying. Never had experienced anything like it. Sitting on the couch alone one evening, as calm as could be, BAM! Heart racing, couldn't breathe, light headed, you all know. Thought I was dying, heart attack, etc. I continued to have issues with anxiety up to and through, still to this day. I've been on medication for it for over ten years. I have periods of time when it may not affect me at all for months on end, then seemingly out of nowhere it becomes a weekly, multiple times a week issue for months in a row. This has been my pattern for basically the last 13 years of my life. I have been to many therapists, practiced cognitive therapy, as well as attempting to learn some mindfulness for those of you that are familiar. But its something I still struggle with at times.
The worst part (in my opinion) for people who have had AVR, or any heart related issue or procedure and also have an anxiety/panic disorder/issue, is the fact that SO MANY of the symptoms we experience when having a panic attack or generalized anxiety, are identical to that of heart problems. Rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, possibly pain or tightness in chest, muscle spasms, etc. People experience their own symptoms in different ways a lot of the time. I know I personally over the years have made at least a half dozen trips to the ER concerned over something being wrong with my heart, ESPECIALLY because of my AVR, only for it to turn out physically I am fine. When the panic comes on my first thought is "OK, is THIS the time when its not anxiety and something is really wrong with my heart??". That's seems to be the hardest thing for others to understand. People in my life who are aware of my anxiety condition think "you have to learn to accept and know its going to be ok, it'll pass", but I think the opposite which is "ok, it MIGHT be anxiety, but what IF this is my heart because I have had issues in the past??" That I feel as though I'M different, that I need to be more precautious (which actually turns out to be fearful) because I have had OHS. As a side not I should mention I get checked yearly and for all intent and purpose my heart is in just fine condition all around. But even with that being said, its still the first thing my mind races to..."is THIS the time??".
I struggle desperately with this to this day. As I said, it seems to come and go with me personally for weeks or months at a time. I don't want to be on medication for this. As I write this, this moment I'm completely fine, but I've been in the midst of one of my "anxiety stretches" for probably 3 or 4 months now.
That is the crux of my story. I'm willing to share and discuss even more if the interest is there with others here. As stated earlier, please feel free to post ANYTHING at all you feel may be related, not just to me or my story, but your own as well. I'd be very interested to hear how others out there feel, have dealt with this in their own lives, how you cope, or how you struggle to cope. Anything at all.
So I hope this thread receives some response and begins some dialogue. I'm more than open also to being private messaged, emailed, etc.
Here's hoping you are all having a wonderful day and feeling great!
Jay
P.S. - so much for being brief ;)
Want to begin by wishing you all the best of health. As I stated in the title, and to elaborate slightly, I'm looking to begin an open topic for people who suffer from anxiety and or panic who have had or are going to have AVR (aortic valve replacement, which I have had), or suffer from any true heart ailment additionally. I'm not looking to limit this discussion in any way. Any and all posts surrounding this topic are welcome. Whether it be your personal story, techniques that have/are helping you, reaching out for support from others, just venting, basically anything that someone who has had AVR/ open heart surgery or a heart problem, and also has issues with anxiety or panic of any sort. I realize there are many other posts in regards to this on varying levels, I just thought I would start something fresh.
To begin, and I'll attempt to keep this brief not knowing what type of response this topic may or may not receive, I had AVR about 8 years ago. I am now 39 years old. Even prior to my diagnosis of aortic regurgitation two years before my surgery at the age of 29, I had developed what was apparently an anxiety disorder going back to about the age of 25. This is the age that I had my first "panic attack". It was horrifying. Never had experienced anything like it. Sitting on the couch alone one evening, as calm as could be, BAM! Heart racing, couldn't breathe, light headed, you all know. Thought I was dying, heart attack, etc. I continued to have issues with anxiety up to and through, still to this day. I've been on medication for it for over ten years. I have periods of time when it may not affect me at all for months on end, then seemingly out of nowhere it becomes a weekly, multiple times a week issue for months in a row. This has been my pattern for basically the last 13 years of my life. I have been to many therapists, practiced cognitive therapy, as well as attempting to learn some mindfulness for those of you that are familiar. But its something I still struggle with at times.
The worst part (in my opinion) for people who have had AVR, or any heart related issue or procedure and also have an anxiety/panic disorder/issue, is the fact that SO MANY of the symptoms we experience when having a panic attack or generalized anxiety, are identical to that of heart problems. Rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, possibly pain or tightness in chest, muscle spasms, etc. People experience their own symptoms in different ways a lot of the time. I know I personally over the years have made at least a half dozen trips to the ER concerned over something being wrong with my heart, ESPECIALLY because of my AVR, only for it to turn out physically I am fine. When the panic comes on my first thought is "OK, is THIS the time when its not anxiety and something is really wrong with my heart??". That's seems to be the hardest thing for others to understand. People in my life who are aware of my anxiety condition think "you have to learn to accept and know its going to be ok, it'll pass", but I think the opposite which is "ok, it MIGHT be anxiety, but what IF this is my heart because I have had issues in the past??" That I feel as though I'M different, that I need to be more precautious (which actually turns out to be fearful) because I have had OHS. As a side not I should mention I get checked yearly and for all intent and purpose my heart is in just fine condition all around. But even with that being said, its still the first thing my mind races to..."is THIS the time??".
I struggle desperately with this to this day. As I said, it seems to come and go with me personally for weeks or months at a time. I don't want to be on medication for this. As I write this, this moment I'm completely fine, but I've been in the midst of one of my "anxiety stretches" for probably 3 or 4 months now.
That is the crux of my story. I'm willing to share and discuss even more if the interest is there with others here. As stated earlier, please feel free to post ANYTHING at all you feel may be related, not just to me or my story, but your own as well. I'd be very interested to hear how others out there feel, have dealt with this in their own lives, how you cope, or how you struggle to cope. Anything at all.
So I hope this thread receives some response and begins some dialogue. I'm more than open also to being private messaged, emailed, etc.
Here's hoping you are all having a wonderful day and feeling great!
Jay
P.S. - so much for being brief ;)