Is this really it?

[riku]

Hi. My name is Sky, and I'm a 21 year old male living in Canada.
I'm not sure where to turn to, and I just googled anxiety forums, so this seemed a little promising in terms of getting the answers to questions others refuse to acknowledge.
My diagnosis has been professionally determined to be, "bipolar disorder with severe panic/anxiety mixed disorder". Okay, so that's a start, right? But this medical roller coaster has taken a toll on me.
Is this all there is to my life? Worrying about whether I'm going to have a panic attack wherever I go? This sounds silly but my physical health is not so good either.
I have Crohn's Disease, now that doesn't go nicely with anxiety.
It becomes one of those "am I going to crap myself here?" or, "am i gonna puke there?" situations. None of you needed to know but let's face it, that's the reality.
So again, is this really it?

Is this the rest of my life? It seems so pointless. I as a person am not the best, I've failed here and there, had my share of stupidity, and probably deserve these things.
I just need to know that maybe there's hope, that maybe there's more to life than this.

I don't plan on killing myself, please don't assume.
I'm quite eager to live a normal life in fact, but that just doesn't seem possible.

All I'm asking for, is a little help in seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

[tailspin]

Hi Sky, Welcome. So sorry you're dealing with all this. Hey, you definitely don't deserve any of it though. We've all failed here and there and done stupid things. You have a lot on your plate with Crohn's and a mood disorder. I'm really sorry about that. I do think there is hope, even though it's hard to see it sometimes. That's why it's good you've joined this site because it really is a great place to find support and encouragement.

Can your Crohn's be managed at all with medication? And is there perhaps a Crohn's support group you could join as well as this one so that you could get more specific help? Also, I'm wondering whether therapy is an option for you? I know that meditation can help with chronic pain conditions. As can certain relaxation exercises and guided visualizations. These things can also help with anxiety. Are you working with a good doctor? Hopefully he or she can point you in the right direction as regards ways to find additional ways to help yourself manage these conditions. In the meantime, I hope it helps you to spend some time here too!

Wishing you the very best, Sky!