New here - but not new to anxiety

[dr_bogenbroom]

Hey everyone,

Need to speak to others going through the same as me. Currently suffering from sleep anxiety - one of my worst obsessions. I was diagnosed with OCD in my childhood which began as hand-washing and progressed onto Pure-Obsessional. I had been off meds for 3 years and after a stressful year developed full blown relationship OCD and then sleep anxiety- it's been one terrible year for me.

I was originally put on Mirtazpine to help me sleep which did work but left me sedated - and after about 2 months I got hit with terrible depression and anxiety so 2 weeks ago made the desicion to go back to Fluoxetine. Now I've had to start again and my sleep issues/anxiety have returned. I used to be great at sleeping - now it's scary for me to go to bed every night!

I got better with Fluoxetine before and I have felt the effects gradually over the last fews days, but it's still to early I'm guessing to feel the full effects. I'm doing my best not to use any benzo's even though my Dr has offered me sleeping pills - I'm too scared of them plus I don't want to develop a reliance on pills to sleep.

I went through many courses of CBT as a child but now I think it's time to re-start as an adult so I'm visiting a therapist this week.

I also worry about the effect this is having on my fiancee - she knew I had OCD when we met but she'd never seen me like this! I broke down in tears tonight in the car - after having about 3 hours sleep last night I found it very difficult to cope at work.

Anyhow I'm determined to get better - even if it does mean going through the rough with the smooth. I'm exercising on days when I do sleep better, have cut out alcohol completely and cut down caffeine - I've also set some sleeping rules too.

This is my story so far... :D

[Cuchculan]

Welcome to the forum. Good to have you as a member. I am sure you will find someone who can relate to your story. But nothing wrong with a good cry. Better than holding it in. I know you probably didn't want to let your girlfriend see you cry. But it shows you are only human after all. We have all done it at one point or another. There is no shame in it at all. Just let your girlfriend know what is going on at all times. So she will know that bad days may happen from time to time. I know people who don't suffer from the condition might not fully understand it. But at least you are keeping her in the picture about your life. Hope things begin to pick up for you.

[dr_bogenbroom]

Welcome to the forum. Good to have you as a member. I am sure you will find someone who can relate to your story. But nothing wrong with a good cry. Better than holding it in. I know you probably didn't want to let your girlfriend see you cry. But it shows you are only human after all. We have all done it at one point or another. There is no shame in it at all. Just let your girlfriend know what is going on at all times. So she will know that bad days may happen from time to time. I know people who don't suffer from the condition might not fully understand it. But at least you are keeping her in the picture about your life. Hope things begin to pick up for you.

Thanks - it felt as though I needed to let it out and I did feel better as a result. Another annoying part of this condition is that I constantly monitor my feelings now that I've gone downhill - it's like my brain sets goals and targets to hit sub-conciously and when a bad day comes it's hell! I wonder if we will ever understand the human mind.

[Cuchculan]

At times we can be too hard on ourselves. If we set goals that we can't reach we will be forever fallen downwards. So make sure to start off small. Goals you know you can reach. Really it is a bit like scrapping everything we know about life and starting all over again. If that makes sense to you. But we will get there come the end of the day. No matter how bad things may seem right now, there is always a road back.