People make me feel bad

[Gemmy]

Or should I say person. I've noticed my anxiety and depression usually gets worse when I'm upset or around negative people/situations. I love my mom to death, don't get me wrong, but she can make me feel really bad sometimes. When she gets mad at me, she calls me lots of horrible names. I've been called retarded, miserable, stupid, psychotic and all kinds of female dogs. What makes me madder is when she's not mad anymore, she forgets or at least pretends to forget what she said to me. I have a 3 month old daughter and really don't want her around all of this negativity. My boyfriend works full time at a factory and he's working on getting us either a studio or 1 bedroom to start us out until I'm able to get a job or start school, which will be real soon. I'm not gonna lie, sometimes I do say stuff back to her but I don't normally mean it and don't usually do it until she has really pushed my buttons. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed we get our apartment soon.

[Ponder]

Hi Gemmy. Sorry to hear about the pressure there. We swear a lot in our house as well. I guess we are Bogans. My wife suffers from a pretty severe illness that makes life very frustrating for her, so I make allowances. I guess sometimes I can be a retard. The kids, well ... seeing as mum is always having a good go and I take it pretty well, the kids join in too. I've developed a tough skin, however ... It sure can take its toll and I have my outbursts from time to time.

The best advice I can give ... is to understand the fact that when they are feeling better and still talking to you ... more so like a family member again ... I think to myself; well ... at least their feeling better now. Good to know I am not hated all the time. Try to remind them in a calm manner without any judgment whatsoever, that all the bitterness they are directing at you is eating them up. I find it's a great way to practice in my own home without having to go out in public. If I can handle all the name calling at home, I should be able to handle walking past a few people I don't know?

Try to accept your mum as best you can, and on occasion bring it up with her how your feeling when she is hitting out on you like so, however I also find one has to be careful when doing so, as sometimes they may tend to target one all the more. Try to see the stress behind what is making them so mad. Weather we like what we see or not is irrelevant ... sometime if I see something that I am able to so something about, I will eventually try to appease it in order for the sake of peace.

Hard call, because it's different for different people, however ... most of this advice should suffice. Hope it felt better to get some of it off your chest by making this post. Try to focus on your goals and in the mean time practice being calm assertive, however make sure you don't tell anyone to sit. (dog whisperer :) )

Take Care
Dave.