Pathetic people getting me down

[petrified]

Well what a day, it started ok then I had my lovely sister in law on the phone in tears with relationship problems so naturally I went to her house to make sure she was ok. I was there about 2 hours and my phone died. Any way when I got home and put my phone in charge I had missed calls and and voicemails from my sons school. I rang them straight back and was told they tried to ring me 15 mins prior as my son was ill. They had sent him home with his third emergency contact my other sister in law as she lives in the same town it seemed logical to put her down. As people on here already no I have recently fallen out with her. I rang her up so I could go get my son but was met with abuse. She told me I was a bad mother as I didn't answer my phone even though it had died. She told me I was irresponsible and I wasn't welcome at her house and she didnt want to come to my house. So I agreed to meet her at a supermarket car park, to collect my son. When I met her she greeted me with silence and refused to speak to me. This has really upset me why does she have to be so childish? I hate that she has dragged my son into this now as well. I don't no what to do to smooth this over or even if I want too :-/

[Jernau G]

That sucks. I guess since she is a family member its hard to just cut contact with her and ignore her, but I would try to spend as little time with her as possible if she is going to treat you that way.

Any idea why she behaves like that?

[tailspin]

Hi Hannah, I'm so sorry this happened! I feel angry with your sister in law just reading this!!! I know she is still mad about the other thing, but honestly, it is outrageous of her to behave like this around your son. As you say, she is being really childish (and that's a nice way of putting it). I agree with Jernau that I would keep all contact with her to an absolute minimum for the time being. Was she a nicer person before all this drama with her affair started? Or has she always been difficult?

At any rate, I would definitely give her a very wide berth and just let her stew in her own juices. She owes you an apology and it is not up to you to smooth things over!! So sorry this happened, Hannah! Just more stress you absolutely don't need!!!

[NeverToo...Fear]

Wow..firstly, I'm sorry you are going through this....maybe she's acting out on you because she's internally angry with herself? People tend to blow up at their family members and closest relatives and not entirely mean what they say in the heat of the moment. With that being said, I agree with others here that it might be best to keep your distance for now. She's way out of line right now..I mean, your phone dying wasn't even your fault ! ..Not to mention now involving your son in this drama.. Hopefully in time she will cool down and realize how irrationally mean she is being towards you... stay strong, Hannah <3

[sweetypie]

Wow..firstly, I'm sorry you are going through this....maybe she's acting out on you because she's internally angry with herself? People tend to blow up at their family members and closest relatives and not entirely mean what they say in the heat of the moment. With that being said, I agree with others here that it might be best to keep your distance for now. She's way out of line right now..I mean, your phone dying wasn't even your fault ! ..Not to mention now involving your son in this drama.. Hopefully in time she will cool down and realize how irrationally mean she is being towards you... stay strong, Hannah <3

I agree with this. Unless she's a mean person in general no matter what you do, she's probably angry at herself for having an affair. People tend to handle extensive guilt horribly (I have horrible guilt problems and this is how I know this.) Sometimes I get mad at people and don't treat them the best just because I feel like I am the worst human being alive!

Also, she might be scared that you have the power to destroy her relationship with her husband. Yes, she cheated, but she obviously doesn't want the relationship with her husband to end or she would have filed for a divorce. Sometimes when people are scared of someone or scared to be around someone, they act mean to hide it. I do this a lot. I don't have a bad temper, when someone hurts my feelings, I usually just cry. When I'm mad, it's usually because I'm actually scared of them on the inside.

I'm not excusing what she did. She should have never involved your child in this and I'm sorry she is treating you this way.

[petrified]

Hi Hannah, I'm so sorry this happened! I feel angry with your sister in law just reading this!!! I know she is still mad about the other thing, but honestly, it is outrageous of her to behave like this around your son. As you say, she is being really childish (and that's a nice way of putting it). I agree with Jernau that I would keep all contact with her to an absolute minimum for the time being. Was she a nicer person before all this drama with her affair started? Or has she always been difficult?

At any rate, I would definitely give her a very wide berth and just let her stew in her own juices. She owes you an apology and it is not up to you to smooth things over!! So sorry this happened, Hannah! Just more stress you absolutely don't need!!!

Thanks tailspin yeah she has always been difficult , I could just handle it better before my anxiety :-(

[petrified]

That sucks. I guess since she is a family member its hard to just cut contact with her and ignore her, but I would try to spend as little time with her as possible if she is going to treat you that way.

Any idea why she behaves like that?

Thanks jernau, not really she's been like this as long as I've known her. It's just got worse as I caught her lying and she's turned it around on me :-(

[petrified]

Wow..firstly, I'm sorry you are going through this....maybe she's acting out on you because she's internally angry with herself? People tend to blow up at their family members and closest relatives and not entirely mean what they say in the heat of the moment. With that being said, I agree with others here that it might be best to keep your distance for now. She's way out of line right now..I mean, your phone dying wasn't even your fault ! ..Not to mention now involving your son in this drama.. Hopefully in time she will cool down and realize how irrationally mean she is being towards you... stay strong, Hannah <3

Thanks never too fear that really makes sense :-)

[petrified]

I agree with this. Unless she's a mean person in general no matter what you do, she's probably angry at herself for having an affair. People tend to handle extensive guilt horribly (I have horrible guilt problems and this is how I know this.) Sometimes I get mad at people and don't treat them the best just because I feel like I am the worst human being alive!

Also, she might be scared that you have the power to destroy her relationship with her husband. Yes, she cheated, but she obviously doesn't want the relationship with her husband to end or she would have filed for a divorce. Sometimes when people are scared of someone or scared to be around someone, they act mean to hide it. I do this a lot. I don't have a bad temper, when someone hurts my feelings, I usually just cry. When I'm mad, it's usually because I'm actually scared of them on the inside.

I'm not excusing what she did. She should have never involved your child in this and I'm sorry she is treating you this way.

Thanks sweetypie I really appreciate your advice :-)