Help! Newly accepted my GAD. Just started uni. Girlfriend cheated on me on citlopram!

[mikecole114]

Hello,
I'm not sure what sort of reply I will get to this but I want to tell you my story and see if anyone feels the same and/can help me
I just need someone to talk to
So I've realised I've been suffering from GAD for about a year. This whole time I didn't accept it was a problem. It's only 3 weeks ago when I started my first year at university and my symptoms got so much worse that I realised I needed to do something about it.
After doing some research I found out I was self medicating myself with weed. I know that sounds stupid but I realised I've been smoking every day and it was when I was feeling anxious. I told myself that I enjoyed it but now 3 weeks without smoking I realise that I only did it to make myself feel better. I get really panicy and anxious about the realationships in my life I have no trust in people and for the past year my girlfriend was the ont one who knew and helped me. She went to a different uni and after 2 weeks she visited me and started acting wierd I told her everything how I was finally tackling the illness (went to doctors went to see a uni counsellor, started doing huge amounts of exercise and was put on meds) however on Monday she broke up with me claiming that my anxiety was too much. This bothered me for 2 days massively until out the blue she told me that the night before she visited me she cheated on me. She even made me book train tickets the day before to come see her this weekend.
Anyway... I don't want anything to do with someone like that but I can't get over it easily. My sleep is terrible since I've been t uni I've had hardly any sleep which makes my symptoms so much worse and had affected my ability to make friends here as I'm so tired all the time but just can't sleep. Furthermore as a fresher I'm obliged to go out drinking most days of the week but my doc says not to drink but how can I explain to my new friends I can't drink. Furthermore when i do drink I take it very far and mostly get really bad especially when I'm anxious about something. I just wish I could be home with my sister and friends who could help me but at uni no one understands and wants to know that I have a problem like this. My main problem is loneliness which will get better in time I just need someone to talk to right now who understands me.
Thankyou for reading and please reply and give me support at this horrible time.
Thankyou
Mike cole

[sweetypie]

Are there any support groups run by your university or anywhere nearby? It can really help to make friends in person who also have anxiety and depression.

I can't drink either and I occasionally get pressured by friends, my fiance, and other people to drink. I feel guilty when I say no, but you just have to show them that you can still laugh and be crazy and be enjoyable to be around even when you don't have alcohol in your system and most of them will be fine with it.

If you need an excuse then make up a lie that your doctor put you on meds now that don't allow you to drink. People seem to understand that better than the whole anxiety can't let you drink thing.

Break-ups are really hard for anyone, but sometimes harder for us who have anxiety and depression problems. *hugs* But it's good that you've decided you don't want to stay with a girl who cheated. It will be painful for awhile, but you will move on.

[mikecole114]

Are there any support groups run by your university or anywhere nearby? It can really help to make friends in person who also have anxiety and depression. I can't drink either and I occasionally get pressured by friends, my fiance, and other people to drink. I feel guilty when I say no, but you just have to show them that you can still laugh and be crazy and be enjoyable to be around even when you don't have alcohol in your system and most of them will be fine with it. If you need an excuse then make up a lie that your doctor put you on meds now that don't allow you to drink. People seem to understand that better than the whole anxiety can't let you drink thing. Break-ups are really hard for anyone, but sometimes harder for us who have anxiety and depression problems. *hugs* But it's good that you've decided you don't want to stay with a girl who cheated. It will be painful for awhile, but you will move on.


Thankyou very much for your comment. I do believe I can get through this I just need to be around people who understand which is hard just starting uni and not knowing anyone I'm feeling so positive right now and need to keep this way. My exercise, meds, and positivity is what's getting me through this but I have to admit this breakup feels like a big step backwards. I don't think I can stop drinking (not because I'm addicted) but because freshers and this first year of uni is so heavily drinking orientated (I don't know where you are but in the uk it's massive) I guess I will see with time whether the alcohol is a big problem or not. Do you reckon it's vital for me to stop all together?
Thankyou again

[sweetypie]

If you drink and see your anxiety getting worse after you drink or when you are sobbering up, then it's good to give up the alcohol, at least for right now. But only you can tell what your body is doing and whether or not it is hurting you.

For me, I have given up alcohol and caffeine, both, permanently, for my whole life. Whenever I have either, I start thinking I am dying and getting freaked out by things that I don't normally care about, so I can't have them. Last time I had caffeine, I had a nervous breakdown and cried for like a week straight.

[mikecole114]

If you drink and see your anxiety getting worse after you drink or when you are sobbering up, then it's good to give up the alcohol, at least for right now. But only you can tell what your body is doing and whether or not it is hurting you. For me, I have given up alcohol and caffeine, both, permanently, for my whole life. Whenever I have either, I start thinking I am dying and getting freaked out by things that I don't normally care about, so I can't have them. Last time I had caffeine, I had a nervous breakdown and cried for like a week straight.



Yeah I guess so. I do drink a lot of caffeine which I've never thought could be a problem. Thanks to your advice I will try cutting that out completely too. I guess everything I'm doing is only gonna help and I really need to just help myself and be selfish for a bit in regards of not thinking about anyone eles.
In terms of a self help group as you previously mentioned I haven't thought of that and didn't know they exists I have my first counseling appointment on Tuesday and will ask about that then. I'm so looking forward to getting better that it's giving me motivation. One question I do have is if I have this do I have it for life or can I completely be better again?

[ldts3012]

I have suffered with GAD on and off for the past 7 years. The good news is that I have been receiving professional counseling, take medication, exercise, read lots of self help materials, and write in my journal. It takes hard work and practice but you can get better! You have to practice changing how you think about things. It's not easy but I had to make the choice either to lock myself away and feel miserable, or deal with my issues and learn better coping skills. Try to find a support group or therapist, and don't give up!

[sweetypie]

Yeah I guess so. I do drink a lot of caffeine which I've never thought could be a problem. Thanks to your advice I will try cutting that out completely too. I guess everything I'm doing is only gonna help and I really need to just help myself and be selfish for a bit in regards of not thinking about anyone eles.
In terms of a self help group as you previously mentioned I haven't thought of that and didn't know they exists I have my first counseling appointment on Tuesday and will ask about that then. I'm so looking forward to getting better that it's giving me motivation. One question I do have is if I have this do I have it for life or can I completely be better again?

I think you can get better. Try to remember and think of times in your life when you were happy and think that maybe you can be that happy again someday.

I probably will always have anxiety, personally. I've had it for as long as I can remember, but there have been times in my life where it was extremely mild.

I think the worst thing in the world is to believe that you can't get better. That's when I get super depressed and sometimes suicidal and things.

Just try to give yourself nice things ever once in awhile while you are struggling with this. Like, let yourself go to the movies if you have a little extra money or buy yourself something nice. It helps, even if it doesn't feel great at first to get those things, it feels at least a little better and gives you some hope.

And definitely ask about the support group. It's so relieving to me to talk to people who have the same mental issues that I do. It makes me feel less alone.

[kateb]

I just wanted to say that I also found the first couple of weeks of uni difficult because I didn't actually like drinking and felt like it was expected to go and socialise and drink, when actually at that point what most people REALLY want to do is hide in their rooms or go home! It is totally normal to be nervous and lonely at first, it is a difficult transition, however maybe it will make you feel better to know that everyone feels that way, even if they seem totally confident. Take it easy on yourself, do what you feel comfortable with - the best advice I was given was to keep my door open, and try to just say hello to people as much as I felt able to - at this point in time, everybody has those awkward first conversations based on very little, but it is the best way to meet people and feel less alone - invite people over to watch tv or play videogames if you have them, or go see a movie if they mention one they like - basically see if there are any non-drinking things that you can do with people.

The second thing I wanted to reassure you about is that by doing this, just chatting to some people, you will very quickly identify people you feel comfortable with - at uni everyone tends to gravitate towards the right 'group' - maybe they will be the slightly obviously 'odd' ones haha, who are a bit more interesting and a bit different, but maybe they will look totally normal but then you chat to them and realise they are the 'right kind of crazy' for you. Just give it a few weeks and you will have at least one person to talk to, I am sure of it - like I said, everyone is lonely, everyone is looking for a friend - you might be that friend. And I'm willing to bet that a much higher percentage of people than you realise there will also have had some kind of anxiety or mental health issues. Probably once you are comfortable enough to mention it and you say to somebody "I have general anxiety" they might say "oh yeah, I used to have panic attacks at school" or something like that. It is really very common :)

Hope that is helpful. Finally, with the ex-girlfriend, I can't begin to understand how hurtful that must be for you, but the only way of looking at this is that it is a new start. x

[kateb]

Oh and if people pressure you or make you feel uncomfortable, avoid them - you don't want those kind of people as your friends! :) There are enough people at uni that you can be a little picky about who you spend time with, you don't have to immediately pick and then that's it for three years!