sweetypie
10-15-2013, 01:16 PM
Most of my anxiety right now has to do with my relationship.
I think a lot of it is because I did something behind my fiance's back and for eight months, I didn't tell him about it. I kept blowing it up bigger and bigger in my mind, thinking he was going to break-up with me because of this stupid, little thing I did. I was even suicidal about it. I wound up telling him about it and he instantly forgave me and said it was literally no big deal.
But now that we've dealt with that, I still can't turn off the anxiety. I literally view everything as a threat to us breaking up or having an unhappy relationship.
He said he couldn't watch TV with me, for instance, and I said that I thought our relationship might end because of it and had a mental breakdown. I also have had mental breakdowns because his religion isn't identical to mine, even though we have many similar beliefs and never fight about religion. And have freaked out because he's gotten a pimple and I've gotten scared I wasn't attracted to him anymore because of it. LOL. I blow things WAY out of proportion now, is my point, and think every little thing is doom for our relationship.
Right now, I can't stop thinking about something stupid he did as a teenager that he's never done again (he's 31) that he's really ashamed of (so I can't say what it is.) And being scared that somehow something that happened over 15 years ago will ruin our relationship.
How do I make these thoughts stop?
A lot of them are OCD-like thoughts. I'm scared of thinking bad things about my fiance, so I can't stop focusing on any possible bad thought I might be having about him. I'm sure everyone is unhappy in their relationships sometimes, but any slight unhappiness makes me terrified.
I just want the bad thoughts to stop because they prevent me from relaxing around him because I'm constantly worried about the relationship ending. And since I get anxiety around him, I sometimes freak out and think about running away from him just to make the anxiety stop.
But the thing is, it doesn't stop, even when he's not around. That's why I'm freaking out right now, even though he's at work!
I think a lot of it is because I did something behind my fiance's back and for eight months, I didn't tell him about it. I kept blowing it up bigger and bigger in my mind, thinking he was going to break-up with me because of this stupid, little thing I did. I was even suicidal about it. I wound up telling him about it and he instantly forgave me and said it was literally no big deal.
But now that we've dealt with that, I still can't turn off the anxiety. I literally view everything as a threat to us breaking up or having an unhappy relationship.
He said he couldn't watch TV with me, for instance, and I said that I thought our relationship might end because of it and had a mental breakdown. I also have had mental breakdowns because his religion isn't identical to mine, even though we have many similar beliefs and never fight about religion. And have freaked out because he's gotten a pimple and I've gotten scared I wasn't attracted to him anymore because of it. LOL. I blow things WAY out of proportion now, is my point, and think every little thing is doom for our relationship.
Right now, I can't stop thinking about something stupid he did as a teenager that he's never done again (he's 31) that he's really ashamed of (so I can't say what it is.) And being scared that somehow something that happened over 15 years ago will ruin our relationship.
How do I make these thoughts stop?
A lot of them are OCD-like thoughts. I'm scared of thinking bad things about my fiance, so I can't stop focusing on any possible bad thought I might be having about him. I'm sure everyone is unhappy in their relationships sometimes, but any slight unhappiness makes me terrified.
I just want the bad thoughts to stop because they prevent me from relaxing around him because I'm constantly worried about the relationship ending. And since I get anxiety around him, I sometimes freak out and think about running away from him just to make the anxiety stop.
But the thing is, it doesn't stop, even when he's not around. That's why I'm freaking out right now, even though he's at work!