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View Full Version : Are you a people pleasure?


calmwinter
10-12-2013, 01:54 PM
Have a hard time saying "no"?
tailspin
10-12-2013, 02:55 PM
No, not really. I generally have the opposite problem and have a hard time saying yes.
sweetypie
10-13-2013, 04:56 PM
I'm a huge people pleaser. I've gotten better a bit about it lately, but it's hard for me to confront people and say no to them. I always doubt myself when I do.
Sockpuppet
10-13-2013, 05:03 PM
Me too! It's way harder for me to say no than yes. Whenever Im asked to do something it's always yes, quite often at the expense of what is good for me. Have just started a CBT course so looking forward to the assertiveness component!!
bobson73
10-14-2013, 02:24 AM
My fear is that by saying no, i wont be liked. It is being liked that i crave, and is making me worse.
I wish i knew how to not be bothered about not being liked, but it is who i currently am, and have been for 30 years.
indiana
10-15-2013, 07:21 AM
My fear is that by saying no, i wont be liked. It is being liked that i crave, and is making me worse.
I wish i knew how to not be bothered about not being liked, but it is who i currently am, and have been for 30 years.

Being aware of what the problem is (afraid of saying no because you are afraid people will not like you) is a start. It is called being a goodist (always trying to do the right and best thing for others). Us people with anxiety we often please people and do things to be liked. I have the same problem but it has become a lot better.
Every time somebody asks something from me or just by talking to somebody I try to notice whether I say yes because I truly want to and I am being honest in what I say or just want to please the other person (so they will like me). It is hard to say no
at the beginning but it gets easier. Sometimes it helps not to give a straight answer right away but think it over. Don't feel guilty by saying no. It is better to be honest and people will like you more for it and have more respect for somebody
who says what he/she wants instead of doing what you think other people would like. By pleasing other people you are denying your authentic self and are not taking care of yourself. That will only increase your anxiety. It takes some courage to change
behaviour but I think with some practice it can be done. I have come a long way. Whenever I say what I mean I feel good inside. It is impossible to please everybody anyway and not everybody will like you ever. If you loose friends because you are yourself it cannot be helped. Good luck.
jessed03
10-15-2013, 07:35 AM
No, not really. I generally have the opposite problem and have a hard time saying yes.

This is why she's turned me down 8 times already for drinks...
NeverToo...Fear
10-15-2013, 08:07 AM
^ A no is just one step closer to a yes.. Keep trying...... :P
jessed03
10-15-2013, 07:38 PM
^ A no is just one step closer to a yes.. Keep trying...... :P

Reminds me of that Family Guy clip... Without the whole seducing thing of course.


http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3r8aa1j_kZY

'No Jesse...'

'Yeshhhh'

'No Jesse'

'Yeshhhh'

'Oh alright then, yes'

'See anxiety forum,50 no's and a yes.... Means yeshhhh :D'
tailspin
10-15-2013, 07:45 PM
Reminds me of that Family Guy clip... Without the whole seducing thing of course.


http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3r8aa1j_kZY

'No Jesse...'

'Yeshhhh'

'No Jesse'

'Yeshhhh'

'Oh alright then, yes'

'See anxiety forum,50 no's and a yes.... Means yeshhhh :D'

LMAO!!!! Too funny! Yep, the 51st time is always the charm!! :)