Like I'm prisoner

[wanderingsoul21]

Hi, I'm 21, and have suffered from agoraphobia for quit some years without knowing it. I noticed everytime that I would go out it would be excessive shopping and this lasted for like 4 years. I can't go to any kind of festival, fair, whathaveya, it's just the crowd of people what gets me and if I happen to get embarrassed, I don't know how to get out of it, it just feels so huge to me getting embarrassed, it really makes me feel stupid. When I was 12 I stayed inside my home for like up until the time I was 15, wouldn't even step foot outside the door. It's come back on me again at around the age of 19. I wish I could get rid of it. There's just so many rude people out there and I considerably don't know what to do, if I happen to go somewhere if I need there, I'll try to get out of there as fast as I can and I hate lines in stores, I usually just hide around until every body is gone until I go up there. I thought that I just had depression and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder but what do them psychos know? I don't take any kind of drug and I don't intend to, I try to exercise every day at least 15 minutes but it's still not helping me. I yell at my family and tell them they can go without me wherever they are going and obviously it's no place new anyways. I really need help and I don't want to see another damn therapist, what do I do? [/b]

[brickyard_red]

Hi there wonderingsoul, I don't know if I can tell you what to do persay, but I can tell you you are definatley not alone. I voted in the poll and marked a day, but really it can lost longer than that, but I don't think it's ever been a month at a time that I haven't gone outside my house at some point in time.

I can go a week without going out though. But, just recently I took a job at a nursery school two afternoons a week for now and I have been able to get myself out to do that at least. :)

Cath :)

[Vikki]

Like Cathy I cannot tell you what to do…but I can tell you what has started to work for me. It is very unfortunate that you have suffered with these disorders for as long as you have. You sound very mad and frustrated…that’s great. You can use you anger to your advantage.

I know it’s hard to find a shrink that will work with you, but none of us can get thru this alone. All I can tell you it what has worked for me so far: From my research on the internet about agoraphobics/ anxiety we need a shrink that works with behavioral and cognitive techniques. You can check each therapist out in the yellow pages and then call them and ask. I had one that said me yes to everything I asked, but was the most worthless shrink I have ever had…so I moved on.

I also wrote down my fears and thoughts before I went to my last therapy appointment and took notes on what the therapist said. Finally, I had someone listening to what was really wrong and not guessing about my disorder. I figured out what was wrong with me before they did, but no matter how educated I am on the subject…I can’t fix this by myself.

From a book that I am reading ‘The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook’, by Edmund Bourne we may need to work on many levels of healing: Relaxation, Exercise, Coping Techniques for Panic, Real Life Desensitization, Self Talk, Mistaken Beliefs, Feelings, Assertiveness, Self Esteem, Nutrition, Medication, Meaning and Spirituality. Sounds like a lot of levels ….huh. But you know what… I don’t want to miss one level…if I do I may have overlooked one step in my recovery.

Yesterday I stopped fighting it long enough to understand it. I need to be armed against my threats in the future so they do not send me packing.


Vikki

[brickyard_red]

Vikki, thank you for sharing like you did. Wow, it sounds like you are really taking a stand and getting a handle on this. That's great! As you grow in understanding some of this, would you mind sharing with us what you are learning? It may help alot of us here. :D Thanks!

Cath :)

[wanderingsoul21]

Hi, I don't know if those techniques would help me out or not, I've tried yoga before and I think I'm going to try it again plus the writing all my thoughts down on paper. I don't want to see a shrink nor a therapist and it's my choice that I don't because I've already seen about 30 and all of them said that I need some kind of pill to take and I won't and don't intend to just like I'd said before. Yes, I will try to get some kind of outside activity to do, since it started snowing, I guess I'll be outside shoveling it. Well, thanks for your comments and I wish everyone else luck into improving. :roll:

[karmica]

Hi wandering soul.
I appreciate and respect your view, but I've never read about or heard of anyone recovering from yoga, keeping busy or physical activity alone. Plenty of people have managed without medication, and you have every right not to want it, but if you really don't want to see someone about it, maybe I could suggest some self help/self hypnosis books or CDs? There's definatly some good ones out there, it's just a matter of having the patience to go through all the bad ones before you find one that works.

[lira]

The longest for me is 2 weeks not going out..just stay inside. I am currently taking Valerian to help me ease my anxiety. That's a herbal. I am struggling to beat this.