afraid of eating?

[ame11iea]

For a good while now, I've been experiencing a new concerning outlet of my long-term anxiety; I've become afraid of eating. I don't have a distorted body image so it's definitely not anorexia or bulimia - and if anything I would actually like to put on weight - but just thinking about eating makes my stomach churn and my throat tight. My mentality is; without this, I will die. Then what follows is a cyclic catastrophic thought process of how my anxiety will stop me from eating, I'll end up in hospital, I'll die etc. I cant seem to break the negative vicious cycle. Thinking about having to eat food makes me so afraid and unhappy because of how I focus on how essential it is or my survival. I need to learn acceptance of what I can't control as it is a universal fact that everything has to ingest something in order to live, whether it be a plant with sunlight or a lion with a zebra. Does anyone know of any good techniques for acceptance and anxiety reduction? In the past I've tried CBT and mindfulness, both to not much outcome. I find it really hard to explain this to other people, even my therapist doesn't really understand what I'm getting at when I talk about it.

[newzie]

I was about to write a very similar post.

Here's why I get eating anxiety, maybe it can help you with yours or give a better way to explain it to your therapist.

When I get anxiety, I loose my appetite. I focus so much on how little I am eating and that without it I will shrink away and die. It also seems, to me, to be the biggest sign something is wrong with someone; losing weight. I become obsessed with calorie counting (not to CUT weight but to GAIN it). So there is so much 'pressure' for me to eat that it becomes a huge stressor.

Being a thin guy, I worry about losing too much weight all the time, so that adds even more pressure. So when it comes time to eat, which should be a totally natural and enjoyable thing, I am suddenly hit by one of my biggest stressors/triggers. The fact that eating is essential makes it that much MORE of a stressor.

And when anxiety and stressors come into play the results suck. You loose appetite due to the stress hormones, you start getting symptoms of anxiety (strange thoughts like how food and eating is 'weird') and you end up eating less.

The way to break this all is to create a positive association with food again. A good way to do this is to nibble on food all day. Don't make eating such a huge thing/process. Have a bag of almonds or grapes with you when you are just sitting around and nibble on them all day long. That way you create it becomes a positive experience again.

Soon enough you won't have the anxiety associated with eating and then the next thing you know you will be worry about eating TOO much, haha. I had the food anxiety thing years ago when I had a different anxiety episode and once I got over it I said to myself a couple years later (damn, I need to lose some weight, wish I had that anxiety again). I guess I should have been careful of what I wished for.

[newzie]

I also noticed your post history and see you have been struggling with this for a long time. I recommend making smoothie to supplement your eating that way you know you are getting proper nutrition.

Also, it helps lessen the burden of eating and you realize, you dont actually need to eat.

Furthermore you said CBT didn't help, maybe it is time to find a different counselor or a different school of therapy. Hypnotherapy is very good for phobia and it sounds like you might have a food phobia.

Good luck!

[sweetypie]

I also agree that it sounds like you have a phobia and what I learned from having agoraphobia is that exposure therapy can help as well. Just eating a little more than you normally would and rewarding yourself for doing so by giving yourself something nice can help over time if that makes sense. You don't have to fix all of it at once, just baby steps.

I also think (pardon me if I am wrong) that you have the whole "I'm afraid of being afraid" thing. Because you're afraid you'll be scared of eating, so you're scared of eating. Am I right? Or way off? I just want to understand you better.

Because I have this with my relationship with my fiance. I get scared to be around him because I'm scared I will get scared of him and leave him because I need him too much and can't lose him to my anxiety. LOL. An equally confusing statement. Basically it's the same kind of "I need _____ so bad, so I'm scared of it" kind of thing that you are describing, I think.

Tell me if this makes any sense and if not, please tell me how I am wrong because it can really help to talk these things out. And in my opinion, it seems like your therapist isn't asking the right questions.

[kays]

I no this feeling I am exactly the same although doctors say eat little and often I physical can't eat and am afraid it's goin to get serious I suffer all day everyday

[ame11iea]

Hi guys thanks for posting, it's a big relief to know that someone out there understands how I feel! for the longest time I thought I was alone in this since even professionally trained therapists didn't know what I was talking about! the anxiety comes and goes, and as with everything I have 'good days' and 'bad days'.

and sweetypie, yes! that's almost exactly what it is, if not completely. I become afraid of the fear that will keep me from eating. that's probably the whole thing that keeps the cycle going to be honest. my anxiety will pick any random subject and latch on to it, even for no apparent reason, and then I'll become scared of that fact simply because I've become scared of it! it's so stupid and illogical, if the sensible side of my brain had an expression it would be looking at me with eyebrows raised and that 'really?' expression haha. I KNOW it's stupid and yet I still carry on feeling afraid.

I had a proper chat with my therapist today and it made me feel a bit better. just getting it off my chest helps. she was suggesting that the renewal of the fear probably comes from starting uni, where one has to look after themselves entirely and is responsible for their own cooking and food management. I believe she does have a point there but to be honest, in any new situation (aka uni) I'll have a renewal of this fear because it's just the way my anxiety manifests itself.