Skettihead
10-08-2013, 01:28 PM
Hello everybody! I am sorry if this is a little long, but I could really use people who knew what I have been going through. So thanks in advance for reading and any support/insight that you can give.
Okay some background on me. I'm 24 years old, non smoker, essentially in good health besides being extremely overweight. I have been on and off with the eating healthy and working out. I lost about 40 lbs between April and June and at that time, life was golden in the anxiety department. Due to some stuff going on I kind of loss my way and motivation and got sucked back into being lazy and eating poorly. And in creeps the anxiety. Then, my 33 year old cousin died of a heart attack in August. She was very heavy (about 100 lbs more than myself). Of course it was really sad and a pretty bad eye opener for me. I've had other people I knew pass away and I was sad but never anyone this close. What made it worse is that she died from the exact thing I'm terrified of happening to me. My anxiety has sky rocketed since then.
Since she passed I have been to the ER twice, assuming I was having a heart attack. I'll be honest, I never had the whole crushing chest thing or even a really elevated heart rate (more like 80-90) during my episodes. So I feel really irrational now. But I took the first sign of a sore left arm or chest discomfort and ran with it. And honestly, the chest is almost always just butterflies from anxiety! Both trips to the ER (plus the ones before that) the EKG, Bloodwork, Heart monitor, Chest Xray all that came back fine. Only thing was slightly elevated blood pressure and even that was in normal range. I have been better at talking myself out of an anxiety attack, but lately it's gotten bad again. I had hot dogs for dinner a few nights ago, and it turned into a horrible acid reflux episode which I'm now wondering if it was really a gallbladder attack. I dry heaved all night and had clenching in my stomach and pressure in my chest like behind my heart and I had to keep burping. It was horrible, and I even thought I was having a heart attack but my fiance calmed me down.
Yesterday was my worse anxiety attack to date. When I woke up, I was still feeling sick from the other night. I have an unsettled feeling in my stomach and still a little pressure in my chest like air is stuck in there. One thing led to another and it completely spun out of control. I was shaking so bad and felt entirely too weak for comfort. Even my legs felt like they could barely walk! So this is ONE time that google actually helped me (yeah, I'm bad with google, and it almost always makes me feel worse) I didn't even put anxiety, but found out my legs could feel weak from anxiety, from not eating enough/drinking enough, and not breathing properly. So I quickly ate some oatmeal, had some chamomille tea, and did the 7 second breathing for about 20 minutes and felt so much better. Still, I'm not convinced this was all anxiety related because I still have air discomfort in my chest (but I continue to burp and it feels better) and I've had a few other concerning things pop up. I have a slight pressure in my left side of the head. Right above the ear and a little towards the face. A hot water bottle behind my neck seems to help it. I've lost 4 lbs in the past 36 hours although I've been trying to drink a lot at least. And I am still getting some slight discomfort in the stomach... and just feel off. Like disconnected? I don't know.
Has anyone ever experienced the headache/pressure on one side of the head and was it due to anxiety? The only other thing I could tribute it to would be stress. Oh and the one thing that has me very concerned is my pulse. I need to stop checking it, I never used to until recently. The thing that has me concerned is I don't really remember when I started taking my pulse, but when I did it was kind of strong. Like I had no problem counting it and feeling it in my wrist. Now, the past 2 days it's been weak. The actual beats are even and in a good range for resting (60-70) but it feels weak in my wrist. Is this something that I am just freaking out for over nothing? I did take real aspirin the past 3 days *just in case* so maybe since it's a blood thinner the pulse won't be as strong? I hate living like this. I feel like a crazy person! I taught my 4 year old how to dial 911. I hold on to the glass jar on the sink in the bathroom when I go so that if I pass out, I'll knock it off and wake someone up or alert someone that something is wrong and I leave the door unlocked. Every time I get up I'm afraid I'm going to just go lights out. (My cousin grabbed her head and loss consciousness and that was it, so that is probably where that stems from) None of this is rational behavior. I even had my mother on standby to take me to the hospital yesterday. I know that's bad for me, because I usually leave her out of all of my anxiety issues. She is somebody who does not understand that it is a real problem and seems to think it's just in my head or an attention thing I think. I want to start working out again because I feel like it will really help my anxiety. But now I am worried about bringing on a heart attack by raising my heart rate with exercise. I just want to go back to living a normal life!
Okay some background on me. I'm 24 years old, non smoker, essentially in good health besides being extremely overweight. I have been on and off with the eating healthy and working out. I lost about 40 lbs between April and June and at that time, life was golden in the anxiety department. Due to some stuff going on I kind of loss my way and motivation and got sucked back into being lazy and eating poorly. And in creeps the anxiety. Then, my 33 year old cousin died of a heart attack in August. She was very heavy (about 100 lbs more than myself). Of course it was really sad and a pretty bad eye opener for me. I've had other people I knew pass away and I was sad but never anyone this close. What made it worse is that she died from the exact thing I'm terrified of happening to me. My anxiety has sky rocketed since then.
Since she passed I have been to the ER twice, assuming I was having a heart attack. I'll be honest, I never had the whole crushing chest thing or even a really elevated heart rate (more like 80-90) during my episodes. So I feel really irrational now. But I took the first sign of a sore left arm or chest discomfort and ran with it. And honestly, the chest is almost always just butterflies from anxiety! Both trips to the ER (plus the ones before that) the EKG, Bloodwork, Heart monitor, Chest Xray all that came back fine. Only thing was slightly elevated blood pressure and even that was in normal range. I have been better at talking myself out of an anxiety attack, but lately it's gotten bad again. I had hot dogs for dinner a few nights ago, and it turned into a horrible acid reflux episode which I'm now wondering if it was really a gallbladder attack. I dry heaved all night and had clenching in my stomach and pressure in my chest like behind my heart and I had to keep burping. It was horrible, and I even thought I was having a heart attack but my fiance calmed me down.
Yesterday was my worse anxiety attack to date. When I woke up, I was still feeling sick from the other night. I have an unsettled feeling in my stomach and still a little pressure in my chest like air is stuck in there. One thing led to another and it completely spun out of control. I was shaking so bad and felt entirely too weak for comfort. Even my legs felt like they could barely walk! So this is ONE time that google actually helped me (yeah, I'm bad with google, and it almost always makes me feel worse) I didn't even put anxiety, but found out my legs could feel weak from anxiety, from not eating enough/drinking enough, and not breathing properly. So I quickly ate some oatmeal, had some chamomille tea, and did the 7 second breathing for about 20 minutes and felt so much better. Still, I'm not convinced this was all anxiety related because I still have air discomfort in my chest (but I continue to burp and it feels better) and I've had a few other concerning things pop up. I have a slight pressure in my left side of the head. Right above the ear and a little towards the face. A hot water bottle behind my neck seems to help it. I've lost 4 lbs in the past 36 hours although I've been trying to drink a lot at least. And I am still getting some slight discomfort in the stomach... and just feel off. Like disconnected? I don't know.
Has anyone ever experienced the headache/pressure on one side of the head and was it due to anxiety? The only other thing I could tribute it to would be stress. Oh and the one thing that has me very concerned is my pulse. I need to stop checking it, I never used to until recently. The thing that has me concerned is I don't really remember when I started taking my pulse, but when I did it was kind of strong. Like I had no problem counting it and feeling it in my wrist. Now, the past 2 days it's been weak. The actual beats are even and in a good range for resting (60-70) but it feels weak in my wrist. Is this something that I am just freaking out for over nothing? I did take real aspirin the past 3 days *just in case* so maybe since it's a blood thinner the pulse won't be as strong? I hate living like this. I feel like a crazy person! I taught my 4 year old how to dial 911. I hold on to the glass jar on the sink in the bathroom when I go so that if I pass out, I'll knock it off and wake someone up or alert someone that something is wrong and I leave the door unlocked. Every time I get up I'm afraid I'm going to just go lights out. (My cousin grabbed her head and loss consciousness and that was it, so that is probably where that stems from) None of this is rational behavior. I even had my mother on standby to take me to the hospital yesterday. I know that's bad for me, because I usually leave her out of all of my anxiety issues. She is somebody who does not understand that it is a real problem and seems to think it's just in my head or an attention thing I think. I want to start working out again because I feel like it will really help my anxiety. But now I am worried about bringing on a heart attack by raising my heart rate with exercise. I just want to go back to living a normal life!