Help. Fear of insanity/causing harm.

[KitahD]

I've posted a similar thread a bit ago but I really need more support in that I'm not outside of the anxiety realm and heading toward crazy. I obsess about stories like the mom in Washington DC who was 'fine' per her family before the incident. I worry I'll become like her. I don't fight urges to hurt my family but I have constant fears that I won't be able to control myself and hurt them. I think - "the woman in DC could've felt the same way then one day snapped". How do I know people who 'snap' weren't suffering from anxiety prior to 'snapping'? I'm getting depressed thinking this is in my future. Help.

[RT24]

If you're worried you're going crazy, that means you're most likely not! People who are insane don't realize they're going insane--it all feels normal to them. Unless you're hearing voices or hallucinating, you're fine. Fear of insanity is a MAJOR anxiety issue that lots of people deal with, especially when the anxiety is at its worst. Your worry about it is basically a sign that you're grounded in reality though--people don't just unravel suddenly at the drop of a hat.

[sweetypie]

I've been struggling with this fear as well. Sometimes it feels like my mental problems are literally a gigantic weight holding me down and suffocating me and the world looks dark and hopeless to me and I just want to curl up in a ball and hyperventilate because I'm positive I'm going insane.

I don't have kids, but I've been scared of having kids because of reading the stories that you are mentioning.

[KitahD]

I've always had OCD...not extreme but it's always been there. My first panic attack was late last year. I suddenly felt like I didn't have control and worried I would harm someone because I wasn't in control. I saw a doctor and therapist immediately and tried zoloft...but it made me really irritable and almost non emotional. I take 0.5mg Xanax occasionally and no longer take zoloft.

I think the stress of three kids caused my anxiety to peak. They really are good kids...but I get really anxious when they're playing loudly and irritable when they ask 5,000 questions. My grandmother was the same way....my mom has anxiety also...but I wonder if I'm the only one talking aloud about the fear of losing control. Maybe they had it, too?

I hate letting my mind take me as far as it does. I don't hallucinate nor do I hear voices...but I do fear that I will. Those are my top fears....losing control and harming someone I love, fear of hallucinating, and fear of hearing voices.

[alfred24]

Anxiety is basically a fear based illness. It's funny how before anxiety people were so "normal" and then they experience the first panic attack and that usually changes everything if you're like most people. These fears you are having are merely thoughts and that is all. Nothing less and nothing more. Of course they cause you more anxiety because it's scary if something like that were to really happen. But it won't. I read a book from a psychologist and he says that people with anxiety may become too preoccupied with their thoughts. But those thoughts will never be anything more than that. Just another symptom of anxiety. Think about whatever you want, it will never happen. But it's best to let them go so you don't get so anxious about them. And if you can't let them go then let them stay just remember that what you're feeling is anxiety, the thoughts and all. And try to see if you can make yourself a bit more comfortable until the symptoms pass.

[sweetypie]

I'm afraid of hearing voices as well because schizophrenia runs in my family. While growing up, my mother had it and her father committed suicide because of it. I've never heard voices, but yes, I am very afraid of getting schizophrenia, too, especially since it's genetic.

But the good thing is, I've known a lot of people who had schizophrenia and heard voices, including my mother, but also a ton of other people, and none of them were told by those voices to murder people. Most of them just believed that they were being spied on by the government or that God was talking to them and they were seeing demons and they needed to read the Bible and pray more.

I don't know if that helps, but I saw my friend develop schizophrenia. She said that her stuffed animals were coming to life and talking to her, but she was able to recognize something was off right away, see a doctor, and immediately start taking pills which made me feel better to know. Because my biggest fear is developing schizophrenia and not being able to tell that I have it and resisting the pills because this was how my mother was. But there's lots of people who accept it and realize what is happening and easily take care of it.

What I'm trying to say is that even if you did hear voices, it doesn't mean you'd automatically hurt other people.