Late night blues...

[gungadin09]

When I first visited this forum (maybe a year and a half ago) I was in a really bad way. I'm glad my life has improved since then. I was so sure I was going crazy. I'm glad that wasn't true. (Or else, maybe I'm really so crazy that I'm locked in a padded room somewhere and only imagining I'm writing this, in which case... well, good on me for imagining my troubles away, I guess, although as long as I'm going that far, I wonder that I don't imagine myself on a beach in Hawaii, if you know what I mean...)

In any case, I'm doing better than I was 18 months ago. Just the same, last night I ended up dissolving ties with most of my immediate family. It's been a long time coming, but it still hurts, and their indifference hurts even more. I know I'm on the path to health. It's just this is not where I wanted to be at this point in my life, and it's just a little depressing.

Late night blues.

[tailspin]

Hi gungadin. It's great to hear that your life has improved. Can you share how you were able to get better?

I'm sorry you are going through a difficult time with your family. It sounds as though you are very clear that severing ties with them is what you need to do for your own health, but I can imagine this must be very painful. I'm sorry you are hurting right now.

Wishing you the best, gungadin!

[Lin]

I find that none of my family understand my anxiety or depression. I have more support from friends than family.

I think it is very difficult for anyone who has not suffered from it themselves to understand even a little bit about what we go through with it.

I find that meeting people who have had it and understand much better than struggling with people who don't understand. If you are in England the Mental Health Forum has started up peer support groups, and I have started a group of my own on an evening so people who work can attend. It really helps just to go to a group and talk to people who understand.

[gungadin09]

Hi gungadin. It's great to hear that your life has improved. Can you share how you were able to get better?

A change in attitude. This poem sums it up very well...

Attitude
by Charles Swindell

The longer I live, the more I realise the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts.

It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we embrace for that day. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string that we have, and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.

[tailspin]

A change in attitude. This poem sums it up very well...

Attitude
by Charles Swindell

The longer I live, the more I realise the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts.

It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we embrace for that day. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string that we have, and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.

Thanks for sharing that, gungadin. I agree that attitude and perspective are key.

Wishing you the best!

[DodgingRain]

My mental health has taken priority over some of my family as well. I've tried dealing with my family on my mother's side a couple of times in my life and every time it's done major damage to my mental health. The last time I ended up in the psyche ward for a few days.

I feel awful about shutting them out but I just cannot deal with them. They are not bad people per say but they all have significant mental health issues especially anxiety, depression, and poverty. I also struggle with my kids not knowing that side of their family as well but it's a situation where if I keep that part of my family away I can stay relatively functional and keep a somewhat normal life in place for my wife and kids whereas if I let my mother's side of the family into my life it may destroy everything since I can't seem to cope with all the issues they bring and stay functional.

I've tried several times to fix things and at this point I understand that it needs to be this way. I can't risk my wife and kids lives to try and deal with my past/family.

Positive attitude is great but it doesn't change the reality of the situation. So I try to stay positive and think that I'm doing what's best for those that need me the most but ultimately I know a positive attitude isn't enough for me to survive dealing with my mother's side of the family.

[gungadin09]

My mental health has taken priority over some of my family as well.

In my case, I don't know if it's healthier to leave or to stay. It's been awkward for years. On the surface everyones polite, but there's no closeness. I have a lot of anger about the past. No doubt they do too. We never talk about that. Growing up, we weren't allowed to express anger, and it's become this wall separating us. I've tried with my mother, but she just won't talk to me, or hear what I have to say. I decided it's not worth it anymore. Not sure if that was a wise decision or not.

[DodgingRain]

Don't know but for me its been best to get away from the problems since I can't fix or deal with them.