newzie
09-27-2013, 10:14 AM
So, this past few days have been really bad for me, anxiety wise.
I feel as if I am not allowing myself to feel better and just keep putting negative thoughts and symptoms into my head/body.
I was suffering from depression pretty heavily a few weeks ago and it sucked, but as soon as that lifted anxiety started showing up much more pronounced. Sure, I had higher levels of anxiety when I was depressed, but it's like as soon as I started to feel better depression-wise I started feeling much more anxious.
Almost exactly one week ago, I woke up and felt awesome. My anxiety levels were so low, almost not even there nor was my depression. I had such a positive and cheerful outlook. For most of the day, I was completely anxiety free. I was a little odd since just the day before I had a lot of anxiety while driving somewhere pretty far. But anyway, yeah, that day was great; I got a little bit of anxiety at night because I started wondering if the next day would be as good, and what happens if it's not...
Since that day, my anxiety has varied from some points of the day being bad and others being good. The issue I have is it is just a general feeling of anxiety. So I can be home, as I am right now, watching TV and just be a bit edgy. It sucks when you just wanna relax in the comfort of your own home and just can't (it does improve over the course of the day though).
Anyway, at this point I feel like I am just making myself feel worse. Everything was getting better, I was eating better, I was looking on the bright side, laughing, hanging out with my friends/family and now all of a sudden I just start feeling worse. Yesterday I ate way too little and had a pounding heachache all night until I woke up. It caused me to get disrupted sleep which could be having an affect on me today.
I just feel like there is this 'block' in my head that won't allow me to feel better. I just can't 'let it go.' When I forget about it all or stop thinking about it (which is only for moments throughout the day) I feel fine. Yesterday I went to a friends house and for about 30mins-1hour during various moments I sort of just 'forgot' I felt bad and I felt friggin amazing. We were joking around, laughing, eating food. And then as soon as I ate some food and realized (oh that thats good I ate something) all the thoughts of my current 'condition' came back. It's like, I just wanna move on!
Sorry for the long rant, but I just needed to get that out today. I really need to find a find to just move on and let myself get healthy again. I don't have time for this general anxiety over nothing.
I feel as if I am not allowing myself to feel better and just keep putting negative thoughts and symptoms into my head/body.
I was suffering from depression pretty heavily a few weeks ago and it sucked, but as soon as that lifted anxiety started showing up much more pronounced. Sure, I had higher levels of anxiety when I was depressed, but it's like as soon as I started to feel better depression-wise I started feeling much more anxious.
Almost exactly one week ago, I woke up and felt awesome. My anxiety levels were so low, almost not even there nor was my depression. I had such a positive and cheerful outlook. For most of the day, I was completely anxiety free. I was a little odd since just the day before I had a lot of anxiety while driving somewhere pretty far. But anyway, yeah, that day was great; I got a little bit of anxiety at night because I started wondering if the next day would be as good, and what happens if it's not...
Since that day, my anxiety has varied from some points of the day being bad and others being good. The issue I have is it is just a general feeling of anxiety. So I can be home, as I am right now, watching TV and just be a bit edgy. It sucks when you just wanna relax in the comfort of your own home and just can't (it does improve over the course of the day though).
Anyway, at this point I feel like I am just making myself feel worse. Everything was getting better, I was eating better, I was looking on the bright side, laughing, hanging out with my friends/family and now all of a sudden I just start feeling worse. Yesterday I ate way too little and had a pounding heachache all night until I woke up. It caused me to get disrupted sleep which could be having an affect on me today.
I just feel like there is this 'block' in my head that won't allow me to feel better. I just can't 'let it go.' When I forget about it all or stop thinking about it (which is only for moments throughout the day) I feel fine. Yesterday I went to a friends house and for about 30mins-1hour during various moments I sort of just 'forgot' I felt bad and I felt friggin amazing. We were joking around, laughing, eating food. And then as soon as I ate some food and realized (oh that thats good I ate something) all the thoughts of my current 'condition' came back. It's like, I just wanna move on!
Sorry for the long rant, but I just needed to get that out today. I really need to find a find to just move on and let myself get healthy again. I don't have time for this general anxiety over nothing.