lalapet1973
09-24-2013, 02:14 PM
My name is Laura. I'm 40, divorced with 3 children, live with my boyfriend and his 2 children (full house here). I have had anxiety for over 13 years mostly due to my an emotionally abusive, now ex-husband. My Ex was an alcoholic, did drugs and cheated on me more times than I know. I have been in therapy for over 8 years and on mood stabilizers and anti anxiety meds for when it gets really bad. I was making great progress until I discovered my now boyfriend was communicating with his ex-girlfriend and he had one last fling with her over the summer. We have been together for almost two years. I told him that all communication has to be cut off or he is out. Since then
(about a month) he has not contacted her. I see his email, cell phone records and anything else I need to see. He has been very supportive and wants to be with me and this "family" we have. ( please do not bring up the whole pattern of being with the wrong types of guys. I know...) But I have given him one, and only one chance.
My problem is my anxiety has been on overdrive. I check his cell phone account at least 5 times a day and the same with his email. When he gets home as soon as he puts his phone down and walks away I am searching everything. Unfortunately I have a great deal of experience in finding this sort of information and know how and where to look thanks to my previous marriage. He has been totally agreeable and never once gave me a hard time. I know he has cut off all communication with her. Heck he called her and had her on speaker phone with me in the room and told her that they could no longer communicate it was a mistake and he loves me. Also she lives 3 hours away and not exactly easy to get to. But I am obsessed and I can't stand it. My therapist says to let it go and give him a chance. What's the worst that could happen? He does it again and he is out and I am on my own again. Will I die? No. Will the world come to an end? No. But it is driving me crazy. It is getting better. I was taking the anxiety meds everyday and now it's only once a week, maybe. So there it is... This is my anxiety....
(about a month) he has not contacted her. I see his email, cell phone records and anything else I need to see. He has been very supportive and wants to be with me and this "family" we have. ( please do not bring up the whole pattern of being with the wrong types of guys. I know...) But I have given him one, and only one chance.
My problem is my anxiety has been on overdrive. I check his cell phone account at least 5 times a day and the same with his email. When he gets home as soon as he puts his phone down and walks away I am searching everything. Unfortunately I have a great deal of experience in finding this sort of information and know how and where to look thanks to my previous marriage. He has been totally agreeable and never once gave me a hard time. I know he has cut off all communication with her. Heck he called her and had her on speaker phone with me in the room and told her that they could no longer communicate it was a mistake and he loves me. Also she lives 3 hours away and not exactly easy to get to. But I am obsessed and I can't stand it. My therapist says to let it go and give him a chance. What's the worst that could happen? He does it again and he is out and I am on my own again. Will I die? No. Will the world come to an end? No. But it is driving me crazy. It is getting better. I was taking the anxiety meds everyday and now it's only once a week, maybe. So there it is... This is my anxiety....