Hello and Worries

[Ecphonesis]

Hey, I'm new and hoping that being able to talk to others who have similar worries/thoughts will be able to help me :)
For the past couple months I have been trying to look for a job since I need my own source of income and I'm having a really hard time with it. I hate applying for anything, I'm constantly worried that the hiring manager is going to think I'm stupid, that they'll think I'm just wasting time by applying since my experience isn't all that great, that they'll just laugh and judge me. It's to the point now where I'm not applying for anything because I want to avoid that feeling. But by not applying, I'm also constantly worrying about having enough money and being able to pay my bills. I worry that my boyfriend will make me move out because I can't help out in any way, even though he keeps telling me I have as much time as I need. It's just very difficult for me to put myself out there, to talk to people and ask if they're hiring or where to hand in a resume. And I feel like if I ever do get an interview I'll just screw it up anyway.
On top of this I feel like my issues aren't all that important and I shouldn't be bothering people with them because other people are in worse situations...:(

[alankay]

Hard but no choice but to keep at it. Maybe some social anxiety or anticipatory anxiety but you must keep applying any way. You need to work so let folks think what they will. Once you are busy and working this will be just a memory. Alankay

[NeverToo...Fear]

Hey Ecphonesis, and welcome!

I can relate to some of the worries and thoughts you have..the social apprehension of wanting to actually put myself out there only to be judged by others..I too need a job, but I avoid seeking opportunities..just yesterday someone literally offered me a job and I just nodded and shook my head, feeling nervous and not ever intending to fill out an application..and it really made me feel bad. This line of thinking clearly isn't going to get us anywhere!
A lot of times I feel like ppl are judging, when they probably aren't and I'm just overly self-conscious. Sure we might screw up, but in the end we really shouldn't care too much what others think because we are who we are. And if one opportunity doesn't work out, another one will surely be around the corner. You just have to keep trying and know that you are doing the best that you can do.
And while these problems might seem trivial--it's not to you and others who feel this way.. So it should be taken seriously. I hope this advice helps in some small way..good luck! :)

[Ecphonesis]

Thank you.
The plan is to keep trying, and hopefully the feelings will stop or at least allow me to feel better.

[Ecphonesis]

Thank you NeverToo...Fear!
It really is difficult, but it's good to know I'm not alone in this. Most of the time people tell me I'm just overreacting and that it's not that hard to put myself out there. It is hard though when every time I do something simple like thinking about filling out an application my heart starts pounding and I start to shake and get nervous.
Good luck to you as well, I hope you can overcome this too and find an opportunity that will work for you :)