this has destroyed my life

[amazeballs]

So I'll make this as short yet detailed as possible and I'll probably be checking like every hour just cause I'm dying for answers. I'm 26 y/o male.. I do not have insurance as I do not have a job anymore. I lost my job about two years ago because of my issue. I recently gave up drinking, I would drink about 2-3 beers daily and heavy on weekends, for about 4 years.

I'm not the best writer so this won't be organized..

My issue: I get anxiety, mainly in cars or buses. I have become recluse and haven't left my house to go further than a few blocks for about two years. About a year and a half ago I had a colonoscopy, and there is nothing wrong with my digestive system. I mention this because my anxiety makes me feel like I need to poop. I've lost my girlfriend, friends and pretty much any type of social life do to it. I can't leave my house.. If I plan to go out on a certain day, when that day comes, I'm in the bathroom trying to poop so that I won't feel the urge when I go out.. But even doing this, I still get these crazy urges.. As soon as I get in a friends car and get a block away or on the bus and get further from my home, it kicks in and I feel like I'm going crazy in my head! It gets hard to breathe and mainly it feels like I need to go.. I always end up making a friend turn around and bring me back or I get off the bus and walk back home.. And once I get home, of course I don't have to go to the bathroom.. I'm not sure if its because I'm not at home, or if its just being in the vehicle but its destroyed my life. I want to get out of my house but I can't, I feel like even if I get insurance again, I wouldn't be able to make it to the appointment because of this.
Oh I missed this, but when if I were to make it somewhere, like I made it to the colonoscopy, I'll feel fine, its the commute that is uncomfortable. I've never pooped myself, never been in an accident.. I don't know what has cause it but I'm really hoping someone had something similar and could I guess help or just let me know that I'm not alone and I'll be OK...

I appreciate any response. Thank you in advance.

[tailspin]

Hi amazeballs, Welcome to the site! I think that your issue is quite common amongst anxiety-sufferers and you are definitely not alone. In fact, I'm pretty sure someone posted here with a similar problem not long ago. It's good that you know there is nothing wrong with your digestive system (super brave to get a colonoscopy done. Just the thought of any type of procedure like that scares the crap out of me - pun intended! :rolleyes: !)

Have you tried any medication? Anti-depressants can help settle the digestive system down and are often prescribed for IBS even if the person doesn't necessarily have anxiety. Plus, obviously, the hope is that an anti-depressant would also help with any anxiety issues. I know you say you are currently without insurance, but is there any type of clinic you could go to where you could see a psychiatrist and discuss starting medication? Also, perhaps you could invest in a good book about CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) and the treatment of phobias so you could read about ways to try and re-train your thinking around this issue?

[amazeballs]

Thanks for your reply! Yes it was extremely scary, but at that point I was desperate to fix it, only to find out there was nothing wrong.. There isn't a clinic where I could get therapy close enough to me where I feel like I'm comfortable enough to make it that far.. It seems I have no choice and I'll look into that. Is there any names for medication that I could suggest to them when I were to see a therapist?

[raggamuffin]

Convincing yourself you can't go to certain places is empowering the anxiety even more. If you made it to have the check without issue then that should proove to you that anything is possible. You're simply engaging in safety behaviour by avoiding all activities in order to prevent this sensation. This empowers the anxiety and you wind up utterly secluded because of your irrational fears that something will occur.

I wouldn't personally recommend medication. I've tried many when I had a 3 month bout of constant stomach issues day in day out and nothing worked. What did was finally accepting it was anxiety instead of convincing myself it was some disorder. Within 48 hours of accepting it was anxiety, keeping busy and not fearing it, the issues disappeared. They come and go every now and then but again, respond with no emotions, just let my body do what it needs to.

Whilst we convince ourselves anxiety and symptoms of stress and anxierty ruin or have a control over our lives it's not true. We control the anxiety. It's effect on us depends on how much of the day we waste fixating on symptoms and worries. Fixating on it makes them worse, fearing the symptoms or anxiety makes it worse and fighting it makes it worse.

You have to respond with no emotion, rationalize the situation and get on with your day. It takes a lot of practice, but you can master this eventually.

Ed