What do I do?

[Duplex]

My name is Duplex. I was once a college student pursuing an Associates of Arts degree with dreams of becoming a game designer and cartoonist. I had a strong affinity for art and creativity, that was until one January night in 2010 when I made a huge mistake. I and five other friends decided to smoke marijuana in a small room where I experienced my first anxiety attack. My friends insisted that there was nothing wrong with the pot, and I believed them since I was the only one experiencing an anxiety attack. I have never been the same since that night, even a few years after the incident. My dreams of becoming a game designer and cartoonist have come to an abrupt end, and instead, I found myself in a state of mind where I just can't enjoy anything. I still experience symptoms of anxiety disorder such as insomnia, shortness of breath, headaches, depersonalization, and racing thoughts. I have tried everything to get out of this state of mind, from dietary changes, teas, exercise, medications, supplements, therapists, and even yoga, and nothing has worked.

Now I feel lost, doomed to this state of mind, without direction nor the same zest for art and creativity I once had. I slog through my college courses without feeling invested in the material, and my grades have suffered as a result. I find that I constantly ask myself what to do with my life. At the moment, I have been withdrawing from Xanax which I was on for the past two years. I am thinking about investing in an anxiety program such as the Linden Method or Freedom from Fear, but I am low on money and I don't know if they will work. Just what do I do?