Persistent vision problems

[Sarah W]

One thing that has been troubling me about the development of my anxiety has been its accompaniment by a range of vision problems. I'm mostly sure that it's just anxiety because I can make it better and worse depending on how I'm feeling. Though, the doubt in me arises from the persistence of these symptoms and some odd things that I was told in the past about my eyes.

What I'm experiencing (described to the best of my ability):

Visual noise, like static--appears to never ever go away
Sensation like my eyes can't focus on anything--ebbs a little but appears to never really go away
Light sensitivity/negatives--waxes and wanes, always sensitive enough that I'd want to dim my screen
Occasional strobing in my peripheral vision--happens sometimes, goes crazy if I have any alcohol

This bothers me. These aren't just things that happen at my most anxious. The first two never seem to leave me at all. I've become totally neurotic about it. I make myself anxious about it. Because it still strikes me as something that interferes with my life--I mean, who wouldn't prefer to see normally?

I've had odd symptoms with my eyes before that I didn't originally connect to anxiety. They went away on their own. I've had eye exams. I saw an ophthamologist once a few years ago. I was told that my optic nerve was convex (but possibly not abnormally so) and that my visual field test was inconclusive (I couldn't keep my eyes still). A clinic doctor at school a couple of years ago told me that he thought I had nystagmus. I never followed up on it. I think I should. Maybe just to help convince myself that there's nothing else interfering with my level of (dis)comfort. I feel like another examination is going to come up inconclusive or saying that my eyes are perfectly healthy. As far as the static thing, it could be like visual snow. But it never goes away and my blood pressure is normal. A lot higher than it was, but normal.

I've been stuck with these symptoms for a couple of years now. I would like to move on with my life and go back to functioning normally...

It would help me a lot to move in the direction of believing that its purely anxiety/nothing else if someone on here has had this host of symptoms for sometime and managed to overcome them. Or at least, if there is another person on here who knows what I'm talking about. I've read in different places on the internet that "anxiety can f*ck up your eyes", but that's not very specific. Like, yeah, in a full-blown panic attack, I believe it. It's the persistence of some of these though. To reiterate: they never, ever, ever seem to go away.

Some things I've done that have reduced the level of anxiety that I idle at on a daily basis has been to cut out caffeine, nicotine, alcohol and (perhaps this sounds weird, but) aspartame. I don't exercise a lot, but I make a point to do something now (I waffle), and I'm usually on my feet all day. I try to meditate for 10 or 15 minutes whenever I think to, at least once a day. That's temporarily calming. I took sertraline (generic Zoloft) for ten months (stopped in February), and I feel like it has locked me into feeling like this. I originally took it for acute anxiety (and depression, as per suggestion from a psychiatrist who thought that was more important (even though I was depressed because I was a neurotic, wound-up basket case)) and it just sort of put me on edge all the time. I mean, yeah, I didn't have to wear sunglasses inside anymore, but it took all of that anxiety I was feeling at once and sort of spread it out over my entire existence. I don't think I'd consider rolling the dice on another pharmaceutical after that.

I hope that this at least makes you feel better if you're going through something similar. I feel like I'm mostly aware now of the psychological problems that have gotten me to this state of being, so I'll just keep this post about the experience of it.

I feel like I should go back and edit this to make it more streamlined, but I don't think I can at the moment. Thanks for your attention, I guess.

[Jcsmith0817]

Hi Sarah, you are not alone on the vision problems, as for me I am 23 years old and have been seen by my eye doctor and was diagnosed in being near sighted which was found out after my anxiety began in march.. With my horrible long range vision this made my anxiety worse and I began developing stages of tunnel vision which made things more harder to deal with and would make me have severe panic attacks.. long story short, I basically began too adjust too wearing glasses and the most hardest part adjusting too was seeing spots.. black strobes in my right eye only and at first was very scary but now it doesn't really bother me. as we get older we begin too see more spots because the jelly in the back of our eyes wears off and makes those spots.. from what my eye doctor told me. but I can understand where your coming from! its hard and I want too be normal too.. but then again not thinking that way, no one is normal or perfect.. we are all unique!

[Sarah W]

Thanks, JCSmith0817. I guess it makes me feel somewhat better to know that no one is totally normal. I'm not even sure the symptoms alone would bother me so much if I knew for sure they were totally benign or at least what they were. Your comment reassures me that strange, enduring visual symptoms may indeed be nothing to worry about.

I just need to get the following out of me (not necessarily at you JCSmith0817):

I think most of my trouble with it comes from doubting that it's anxiety and not knowing how to handle it if it's not. I don't feel like people are typically helpful or good at listening. I've tried to solicit advice from professionals or talk to select people around me a handful of times (and felt bad about it every time) over the last couple of years and my experience has been that I'll try to describe something that I'm experiencing and they mostly listen for a few key words and make a snap decision about what they think I'm saying before I've managed to actually communicate what I'm trying to tell them. But then, they're human. What else would I expect them to do? I wouldn't have anything better to say to anyone in my situation if I couldn't understand it.

I'm 23 as well and a year and a half ago I put my life on hold because I can't function at the level I'm currently at beyond doing simple, repetitive work. I'm sure I'm capable of more (mostly because anyone is), but too preoccupied with how crappy I feel and worrying that something more is wrong--because I'm avoiding doing something about it even if that would just convince me that there is nothing to worry about. I'm growing impatient. Eventually, which will cause me the most anxiety--trying to ask for help again or ignoring a problem that I can't seem to fix on my own?

In the mean time, I heard on this same forum that many people with anxiety issues actually suffer from a magnesium deficiency. I looked it up a little more on the internet (not too much more because I don't have those powers of concentration for the time being), but from what I saw, it seems totally plausible that I could have developed one (perhaps you have one as well?). For about a decade I was on a mostly vegetarian diet that consisted of coffee and empty carbs. I had a big, probably mostly imaginary, stressor a couple of years ago that preceded my decline. Apparently even excess cortisol can deplete (or prevent) your magnesium (absorption (I don't remember which now)). Totally plausible from the information I understood. Let's hope that's it so I can avoid feeling like an idiot asking for more help. If not, then I make a trip to the doctor this year. If nothing helps after that, then I get to work at Home Depot for the rest of my life (not that that's horrible or anything, they're a good company) and brood about how unfair it is that I can't be a neurotic basket case and feel fine. I could just accept that I feel the way I do and shrug off not being able to do the things I want to do right now, but then I wouldn't be the type of person who would google "anxiety forum" for last ditch advice from strangers. :) I threw in a B-vitamin complex for good measure. Probably not a bad move.

Here's a question: can anyone really wind themselves up so much that they make themselves feel god-awful every waking moment of the day--no exaggeration? I'm still new to this whole anxiety thing (little over two years now). I wouldn't think it's even possible to maintain such a consistent state of mind. I wax and wane, you know, feel better and worse--but I can never seem to get to okay. That's another thing that makes me think that there is something really wrong and that I should stop ignoring it. But then, this is how I really think, and it would be weird if I didn't feel uncomfortable. But then, I never used to. But then...oh, god. What to do, what to do?

Do we think the similarly? Is that why we're here?

[Sarah W]

Yeah, just reading this reminds me of how much of a problem I still have psychologically. Oh, well. Thanks for listening. Get well soon.

[Sarah W]

Reading some of the other things that people on here go through...I'm sure it can get worse. I need to work on the way I think about things.

BTW, the magnesium does seem to take a bit of the edge off. It's worth a try for anyone on here whose diet is a bit lacking.

[mykids12]

Reading some of the other things that people on here go through...I'm sure it can get worse. I need to work on the way I think about things. BTW, the magnesium does seem to take a bit of the edge off. It's worth a try for anyone on here whose diet is a bit lacking.

Do your eyes move back and forth? My husband has nystagmus and that is what they do.

[mykids12]

I just saw where you said you couldn't keep your eyes still. Is that all the time or just during anxiousness?

[Jcsmith0817]

Hey Sarah, Thanks for explaining what your going through and how you feel.. Honestly I know what you mean as a listener and that it feels like no one can understand what I am really going through! my parents, siblings, friends or even doctors understand me.. It makes me feel like I really have no one too talk too or explain what I'm going through and how I feel because they don't know how I really feel and what's killing me.

It is really hard to understand why anxiety can be so cruel to us and accept that it is anxiety but once we do, things slowly but surely get better.. I have severe health anxiety and it sucks so bad! All I do is focus and focus on stupid small symptoms that I need to not even worry about but yet I do and it makes things worse!! Everyday I feel like I am in a crappy shitty feeling but today I felt amazing besides the two small panic attacks, one at work and one at a dinner after work..

I wake up maybe 5 out of 7 days a week feeling so shitty but slowly i am working on curing this and making it a goal too overcome this battle!

I know what your saying and if you ever need something too talk about or someone too talk too who is mostly in the same boat as you as well as a bunch of other people on this forum, i am here too talk!!

And listen

:]

[student8913]

i noticed a change in my vision when i went into full blown anxiety mode (still am) for the past 2 1/2 mo. I do notice though if im not thinking about it then i 'usually' dont notice it. I find myself simutaeously thinking i cant see and i cant see and i feel like im almost testing my vision in my head instead of letting it be because i was consantly worried about whatw as wrong with me

[Sarah W]

at mykids12--yeah, someone told me I had nystagmus a year and a half ago. I had this vision problem several years ago (earlier story) that I went to see a doctor about, and when I took the field test I absolutely could not keep my eye still. But then, it was at least five minutes per eye and I didn't think that was abnormal. At the time, I asked the lady giving it to me how I did and she snarked something like "it turned out inconclusive because you didn't keep your eyes still" and I told her "well, yeah, I couldn't keep my eyes still" and she was just sort of like "uh, huh". Well, I wasn't just being difficult. Nystagmus could possibly explain that. If it does, it's probably something I've always had. Now that I think about it...I might have been told when I was little that that was what I had but I think I was confusing it with astigmatism. I would tell people that I had an astigmatism and they would ask what that was and I would say it's when your eyes are kind of jittery. That's not astigmatism...

I think it's all the time, but I don't really have much cause to try to keep my eyes completely still. Maybe it comes and goes. I'm really not sure. If it's noticeable to anyone else, no one has commented on it that I can actually remember besides that one doctor a year and a half ago. Anyway, if I have it, it's not bad enough that my eyes jump around all the time while I'm going about my day.

at JCSmith0817--thanks. Your experience sounds pretty awful and I sincerely hope it improves soon. Feel free to shoot me a message (I guess we can do that on here?) if you want. I'll ask you stuff if I can think of anything.

at student8913--we may be experiencing the same kind of thing.

I read somewhere else on here, a comment about anxiety in general, that maybe it's not going away because you keep checking to see if its gone. That might be applicable to my situation. I'm trying that approach now, just not even checking in. Maybe it passes if you don't fixate on it constantly...

[mykids12]

at mykids12--yeah, someone told me I had nystagmus a year and a half ago. I had this vision problem several years ago (earlier story) that I went to see a doctor about, and when I took the field test I absolutely could not keep my eye still. But then, it was at least five minutes per eye and I didn't think that was abnormal. At the time, I asked the lady giving it to me how I did and she snarked something like "it turned out inconclusive because you didn't keep your eyes still" and I told her "well, yeah, I couldn't keep my eyes still" and she was just sort of like "uh, huh". Well, I wasn't just being difficult. Nystagmus could possibly explain that. If it does, it's probably something I've always had. Now that I think about it...I might have been told when I was little that that was what I had but I think I was confusing it with astigmatism. I would tell people that I had an astigmatism and they would ask what that was and I would say it's when your eyes are kind of jittery. That's not astigmatism... I think it's all the time, but I don't really have much cause to try to keep my eyes completely still. Maybe it comes and goes. I'm really not sure. If it's noticeable to anyone else, no one has commented on it that I can actually remember besides that one doctor a year and a half ago. Anyway, if I have it, it's not bad enough that my eyes jump around all the time while I'm going about my day. at JCSmith0817--thanks. Your experience sounds pretty awful and I sincerely hope it improves soon. Feel free to shoot me a message (I guess we can do that on here?) if you want. I'll ask you stuff if I can think of anything. at student8913--we may be experiencing the same kind of thing. I read somewhere else on here, a comment about anxiety in general, that maybe it's not going away because you keep checking to see if its gone. That might be applicable to my situation. I'm trying that approach now, just not even checking in. Maybe it passes if you don't fixate on it constantly...

Sad that a nurse responded that way. How unprofessional. My husband says he doesn't notice his eyes moving either as he's accustomed to it. He was born with the disease. Last eye appt he had the dr told him they have surgeries to try and correct it but in people who have had this then having eyes that finally sit still could cause all kinds of neurological problems, like vertigo and such. Hard disease to live with I'm sure :( luckily none of our kids developed it. With the way kids tease nowadays I'm sure they never hear the end of it.