Cobra
09-17-2013, 10:10 PM
There are not many positives when it comes to anxiety, but one of the good things that have come out of it for me is this... Before this panic disorder started for me, I was extremely overweight. Even though I ate healthy and walked almost every day, I weighed 360 lbs. I know that sounds like a lot, but I am 6'3 with a footballer build. Still, I was heavy. Today, thanks to my sheer terror phobia regarding food, I weigh a svelte 280 lbs. Now I do not recommend panic disorder to lose weight, but it has been more effective for me than any fad diet I have ever tried. All you have to be is completely, irrationally terrified of eating! :)
I also now have access to the best pharmaceuticals. Getting high used to be illegal, but now I can pop an ativan and be a doped up zombie all day, and its all perfectly legal! No more driving to some shady friend of a friend's house in the middle of the night to buy a bag of weed, hoping and praying you don't get pulled over for a busted brake light on the way home. What? Oh, this? Yeah, I have a prescription. It's for being totally fucking nuts.
Never get bored anymore. If I don't have anything to do, I can always rely on my overactive mind to supply me with the most awesome mental horror movies you can imagine. Sometimes it's a movie called What If? Other times it's Why Is That Hurting?, Oh God I'm Dying! and my person favorite The Last Heartbeat! Tonight, when I drove to town for a loaf of bread, it was a new flick called What Is That Weird Noise? The second feature was What If I Die In This Supermarket. Lots of fun. Bring some popcorn.
Never have to do a cleanse, either. All I need to do is argue with one of my relatives and my body automatically goes into a cleanse. Sometimes I don't even have to do that. My colon now has a self-cleansing mode. The only drawback is when you're at the chinese buffet when the self-cleasing mode kicks in. I haven't figured out the timer settings on it yet.
Don't have time to sleep? Now you can't with Super Wide Awake! Stay up all night imagining horrible, grisly fates for you and your loved ones. Lay in bed tossing and turning, listening to your own heart pounding in your ears. With panic disorder, you have all the energy you ever needed!
I also now have access to the best pharmaceuticals. Getting high used to be illegal, but now I can pop an ativan and be a doped up zombie all day, and its all perfectly legal! No more driving to some shady friend of a friend's house in the middle of the night to buy a bag of weed, hoping and praying you don't get pulled over for a busted brake light on the way home. What? Oh, this? Yeah, I have a prescription. It's for being totally fucking nuts.
Never get bored anymore. If I don't have anything to do, I can always rely on my overactive mind to supply me with the most awesome mental horror movies you can imagine. Sometimes it's a movie called What If? Other times it's Why Is That Hurting?, Oh God I'm Dying! and my person favorite The Last Heartbeat! Tonight, when I drove to town for a loaf of bread, it was a new flick called What Is That Weird Noise? The second feature was What If I Die In This Supermarket. Lots of fun. Bring some popcorn.
Never have to do a cleanse, either. All I need to do is argue with one of my relatives and my body automatically goes into a cleanse. Sometimes I don't even have to do that. My colon now has a self-cleansing mode. The only drawback is when you're at the chinese buffet when the self-cleasing mode kicks in. I haven't figured out the timer settings on it yet.
Don't have time to sleep? Now you can't with Super Wide Awake! Stay up all night imagining horrible, grisly fates for you and your loved ones. Lay in bed tossing and turning, listening to your own heart pounding in your ears. With panic disorder, you have all the energy you ever needed!