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View Full Version : Fighting my demons tonight



Cobra
09-17-2013, 09:50 PM
I have an extreme phobia about eating. When I eat, I develop horrible anxiety symptoms, tachycardia, think I'll die. I have been eating very lightly lately, sometimes just one meal a day, to avoid some of the symptoms. They're worse when I eat something I deem to be unhealthy. Well, today I've been feeling very feisty, so I decided I wasn't fucking backing down. I had two Mcdonalds cheeseburgers and fries, a bowl of ice cream with chocolate sauce, a candy bar and a turkey sandwich. Haha, I don't recommend that. I normally eat healthy, but damn it, I'm tired of being afraid all the time. I had coffee, too. And smoked 6 cigarettes today. Haha. I did have some anxiety and tachycardia but the whole time I just kept telling myself it's just anxiety, not real, can't hurt you. I'll go back on my healthy gluten free diet tomorrow, but I just wanted to live a little today, and not let the anxiety keep me in prison. Oh yeah, it was all effin' delicious!!!

Stephj526
09-17-2013, 10:10 PM
Good for you for fighting anxiety today! I don't normally recommend that type of eating but if its just occasionally then everyone deserves an off day!

Kmann1969
09-17-2013, 10:13 PM
I have an extreme phobia about eating. When I eat, I develop horrible anxiety symptoms, tachycardia, think I'll die. I have been eating very lightly lately, sometimes just one meal a day, to avoid some of the symptoms. They're worse when I eat something I deem to be unhealthy. Well, today I've been feeling very feisty, so I decided I wasn't fucking backing down. I had two Mcdonalds cheeseburgers and fries, a bowl of ice cream with chocolate sauce, a candy bar and a turkey sandwich. Haha, I don't recommend that. I normally eat healthy, but damn it, I'm tired of being afraid all the time. I had coffee, too. And smoked 6 cigarettes today. Haha. I did have some anxiety and tachycardia but the whole time I just kept telling myself it's just anxiety, not real, can't hurt you. I'll go back on my healthy gluten free diet tomorrow, but I just wanted to live a little today, and not let the anxiety keep me in prison. Oh yeah, it was all effin' delicious!!!

You just made me real hungry!!!

Cobra
09-17-2013, 10:15 PM
Oh, yeah, I know. I haven't eaten McDonalds in months and months. Normally, for a sandwich, I have what my wife and I call lettuce wraps. We peel a couple leafs off a head of lettuce, place some lunch meat in it, a little ranch dressing, salt 'n peppa, then roll it up and eat. For sweets its grapes or something, or nothing at all. We eat a lot of stir fries, too, made from fresh veggies and either chicken or beef. Today, I just wanted to be bad.

sharacel91
09-18-2013, 03:21 PM
That's really good what you managed to do. mc D's isn't very health food but to treat yourself every so now and then it's good. The more you do it the better you get it's called exposing yourself to situations what brings your anxiety on

HealthAnxNut
09-18-2013, 03:46 PM
I don't have a phobia about eating, but I do think about it every time I'm about to eat. Is this food going to give me burps and pains that feel like heart issues? It it going to make me feel dizzy and spacy. Is it going to make my stomach hurt, which also makes me anxious? I really wish I had the "stomach of steel" like my husband! Good for you, treating yourself to a little (over) indulgence today - you deserve it!! :)

Cobra
09-18-2013, 04:34 PM
When I eat, I start getting really tense, then after an hour so so, my heart rate will jump to about 120 bpm. This lasts for a couple hours before starting to settle back down again. I get lightheaded and weak feeling. Sometimes I feel like throwing up, though I never have. I am still not 100% sure it is purely anxiety and not something actually wrong with my stomach. Which is probably the reason it keeps happening. LOL.

Cobra
09-18-2013, 08:25 PM
I've been trying to do gluten free, except for that cheat day. I noticed this morning, I woke up with itchy whelts on my arms, and a couple unmentionable places after eating the bread and junk food. Also had no tachy after eating gluten free today, and haven't had any Ativan. Today I ate rice and potatoes, no gluten. I'm a little anxious and nauseated, but not too bad.