trurman
09-17-2013, 02:05 PM
Hey Guys, really hard for my to write this as I'm terrified of facing my anxiety, but I'd love some advice...
2 years ago I was 20 and broke up with a girl after she cheated, abused my trust over and over, leaving me extremely anxious. I spent a year and a half getting over her and 'resetting' myself before moving on and recently thought I was there. I started dating a girl and quickly I realised she wasn't good for me, so I broke up with her. She was extremely insecure as I got to know her and honestly, not good news. Almost a repeat of before. That ended around 2 months ago.
Right now I've started 'seeing' someone else who has just started uni and is such a lovely girl, much more my type and has a really loving heart. The issue I have right now, is when I don't hear from her for a few hours... Or I know she's out with people from uni that drink... (me and her don't).
So on the logical side, she would NEVER hurt me in any way, she does text / call me a couple of times a day, I love being around her and want to grow into a deeper relationship over time.
Aside from that, there's still this crazy anxiety in me that kicks in... What if she's out and didn't tell me? Why hasn't she text'd me for 3 hours? What if someone is trying to take advantage and she hasn't told me? All this stuff starts spinning around again and again in my head!! It's destroying me. I can't think strait, I can't work, I can't eat...etc. This goes on, even though I know I'm lucky to be with someone to amazing, she would never hurt me and I know she's crazy about me!
I haven't told her because I don't want her to worry or feel like she's got to help me as it's my problem that I want to deal with.
Right now for example, she told me she's staying in tonight. So I text'd her a couple of hours ago but no reply yet. Now my brain is screaming "she's gone out, she's drunk, she's with guys..". I KNOW that is NOT true at all! But telling myself that doesn't help... I want a hug from her, I want a call, I want to know we're OK - But now I sound clingy as anything?!
I'd love some advice, I'm sure others have been here before...
Thanks in advance!
Trueman.
2 years ago I was 20 and broke up with a girl after she cheated, abused my trust over and over, leaving me extremely anxious. I spent a year and a half getting over her and 'resetting' myself before moving on and recently thought I was there. I started dating a girl and quickly I realised she wasn't good for me, so I broke up with her. She was extremely insecure as I got to know her and honestly, not good news. Almost a repeat of before. That ended around 2 months ago.
Right now I've started 'seeing' someone else who has just started uni and is such a lovely girl, much more my type and has a really loving heart. The issue I have right now, is when I don't hear from her for a few hours... Or I know she's out with people from uni that drink... (me and her don't).
So on the logical side, she would NEVER hurt me in any way, she does text / call me a couple of times a day, I love being around her and want to grow into a deeper relationship over time.
Aside from that, there's still this crazy anxiety in me that kicks in... What if she's out and didn't tell me? Why hasn't she text'd me for 3 hours? What if someone is trying to take advantage and she hasn't told me? All this stuff starts spinning around again and again in my head!! It's destroying me. I can't think strait, I can't work, I can't eat...etc. This goes on, even though I know I'm lucky to be with someone to amazing, she would never hurt me and I know she's crazy about me!
I haven't told her because I don't want her to worry or feel like she's got to help me as it's my problem that I want to deal with.
Right now for example, she told me she's staying in tonight. So I text'd her a couple of hours ago but no reply yet. Now my brain is screaming "she's gone out, she's drunk, she's with guys..". I KNOW that is NOT true at all! But telling myself that doesn't help... I want a hug from her, I want a call, I want to know we're OK - But now I sound clingy as anything?!
I'd love some advice, I'm sure others have been here before...
Thanks in advance!
Trueman.