I don't know anymore!!! :(

[Jcsmith0817]

Hi everyone... here's my story and I just need some feedback and see if anyone feels the same way I do..


I am a 23 year old male with a great life, gf and family..I was recently diagnosed with Health anxiety when they found out I had a small 3cm arachnoid cist in my brain.. since then I have never been the same ever.. Since march till this very day I get all of these horrible symptoms and I blame it all on a serious illness, disease or my cysts and can't even convince myself it's the anxiety talking and not a serious illness.. this is a list of all my major symptoms..

-Weakness/numbness/needles in my arms and legs or also feels like I'm getting paralyzed and can't move and panic..
- Tremors and heart palpitations, shortness of breath. lack of focus and concentration affecting my life, work and school heavily
- Head thumping, tingling, pounding, dizzy spell feeling as if I am bout too get really dizzy and faint
-Horrible balance and swaying issue, even though my nuerologist and pcp told me I had amazing balance. this relates too when I get the head thumping and loss of focus.
-heat flashes and startle easily as well as always feel like I need to run away, go to an ER or be alone...
-mood changes, feels like depression, no interest in things, no thrive in life...
-lack of appetite, vomit nausea feeling.. fatigue and always tired..

if anyone can please respond and let me know if they get any of these feelings that would be great! I need all the support I can get

thanks you so much!

[Cobra]

I had some precancerous tumors removed from my stomach and colon. Two days after returning from the the hospital, I hemorrhaged and was rushed back to the hospital. Almost died in the ER from blood loss. Well, they fixed me up and sent me back home after about five or six days, and I thought everything was fine, and then I started having severe panic attacks. Never had one before in my life. I think my experience traumatized me. I was so sure I was dying that my brain now cannot process the fact that I'm alive and healthy. Every little strange body sensation sends me into paroxysms of terror. I am slowly learning to cope with it, and slowly getting my life back together, but it is hard, and it seems like for every two steps I take forward, I go back one step. I now have an extreme phobia about eating because I don't like my stomach to feel weird. I have a lot of digestive issues, and if I eat too much I get nauseated, which makes my panic take off. Every symptom you describe I have had, too. And so have most of us here, I think. Panic is a terrible sensation, and when it goes on and on, day after day, it just gets worse. The only thing you can do is surrender to the attacks. If you fight them, it only reinforces the idea that they are dangerous. They cannot harm you, and they can do no lasting damage to your body. My shrink told me you have to cultivate a fuck it attitude. Just go through it and go on with your day. I know its terribly hard to do that, because I have difficulties with it myself, but that is the only way you can get over this. You have to pull the fangs of your terror, be unafraid of it, and know that eventually you are going to look back and say, "Why did I let fear get to me like that?"

[Jcsmith0817]

Thank you Cobra for the response and I am happy too hear some else who has felt the same way and is dealing with what I am dealing with, the symptoms and feelings are very scary and frighting but I always try and get thru them and I have been since I have not been back to the ER since I first had my anxiety attacks.. I believe I should start working on the Fuck it attitude too as anxiety is only wasting my time and life on worry and fear.. I just want too feel better and it feels like no matter how har dI try it isn't enough :( I feels so weak, and as if it were something worse for reals even though all my test mri and ct scans are fantastic..

[Cobra]

It is a terrible shock to be confronted with your own mortality. Some people can shake it right off. Others, not so much. It probably has a lot to do with our mental makeup. I have always been a bit of a worrier, and have had some OCD type symptoms. It always kind of worked to my advantage before, because I was a very focused and goal driven person, but now my OCD has latched onto this idea that I am dying, and it keeps running it through my head. I will be glad when my mind decides to finally move on to something else, as it has in the past. I'm bored and frustrated with all this anxiety crap. I need a new, and more productive, obsession.

[NeverToo...Fear]

I can relate to quite a few of these symptoms; the mood changes, depression, always feeling tired, dizzy and lack of appetite, nausea feeling-- among other things...I've blamed it all on anxiety since the Doc says I'm healthy.. It's hard when it feels like you can't move on with the day when anxiety is always in the back of the mind, that looming fear...I try my best to just be like, "F*** you, anxiety!" and move on with the day..

You have support here Jc..just hang in there :)

[cascadevalley]

Hi,

I have the same thing!! I was around 22 or so when I found out I have an arachnoid cyst in brain. I am now 33 and it has not grown a bit. I have brain MRI every 3 years for stability. I do get dizzy but you will learn to manage that. I have severe anxiety as well but I can tell you your cyst is benign and small. Mine is about 3x2.7x3. We probably have had them since birth. It's super hard not to blame your symptoms on that but most likely anxiety! I feel your pain!!!

[Jcsmith0817]

Thank you for the reply and support! I know what it is and I know I can fight it and get through it but that's the hardest battle of all is believe, accepting and doing. I believe one day I will be back too my normal happy free enjoying life but that's when I can get through this rough and fierce battle! I believe now my only horrible symptoms since the other ones I pushed away is numbness all day in the legs or arms especially when waking up, this off balance feeling especially when focusing in something I get really dizzy and faint like and have to step away and the heart palps as well as headaches but those are it! Ibelieve I am on the upside of winning this war hopefully!!