Hello. I need help. I feel helpless.

[gillart]

Hi. I am a 40 year old single male professional. I have been doing presentations and travelling for meetings for 15 years. 10 years ago, I had an attack of sorts as I was starting a meeting. I had a flash of doubt that manifested itself in my entire body getting very hot, heart racing, and not being able to speak. Scared to death, I whispered (all I could do) to the others at the meeting that I had to excuse myself. It was very scary, and over the following weeks, I spiraled into a major depression, as I thought my career was over and that I would never again be able to participate in meetings. I was eating only about 1 day a week, and that was usually a milkshake. I was sleeping from approximately 9pm-3am every night for months and waking up in fear of what might happen at work and how I would look if I got another attack.

Eventually I reached out to my EAP through my company and the healing started. My depression has been under control via therapy and meds ever since. It's 10 years later now and I have been able to keep my job and even move up in the company.

My depression is under control but I still deal with extremely frustrating and irrational attacks at certain points when I have to speak. And I don't mean big presentations in front of large groups. My worst attacks come from having to introduce myself - even in small informal groups of 3 or 4 people. As the introductions get closer to me, I imagine what I am going to say, and I spiral very quickly into a full-out attack of racing heart, inability to speak, thoughts of being embarrassed by all this, etc etc. As I said, this is not a big presentation, this is me trying to say "I'm Tom, and I'm in marketing." That's all I have to say. Yet I let my mind race into thoughts of not being able to blurt that out.

It is extremely frustrating and completely irrational. That said, it always happens, and I have no control over it. Has anyone had completely irrational attacks like this? My attacks have never been random, they have never been in social situations - they have never, ever been on a weekend - they are always at work, when I have to introduce myself or give a short report out on a topic that I 100% am familiar with and confident in. Is there a name for this condition? Is there a certain type of therapy I need? How do I stop my mind from treating a simple introduction as if I am being chased by a tiger? Thank you so much.

[Dan Medz]

I have suffered from these panic attacks you describe since I was a kid. There's not much worse a thing to go through. With me it happens anytime I get into confrontation or am around it. I manage them now to a point by removing myself from the situation and going for a walk and controlling my breathing but that's not always helpful. I can make them less severe but I've never been able to stop them completely no matter how much therapy or advice I get. Not to say they can't be eliminated I'm sure it's possible. Sometimes they go away for a whole year or more and come back. Weird thing is I don't see any difference in those years stress wise. It's like these attacks just come on like a storm.. in specific situations but not always in those situations. It's weird.

[Just Jane]

It is extremely frustrating and completely irrational. That said, it always happens, and I have no control over it. Has anyone had completely irrational attacks like this? My attacks have never been random, they have never been in social situations - they have never, ever been on a weekend - they are always at work, when I have to introduce myself or give a short report out on a topic that I 100% am familiar with and confident in. Is there a name for this condition? Is there a certain type of therapy I need? How do I stop my mind from treating a simple introduction as if I am being chased by a tiger? Thank you so much.

To me that sounds like a more normal fear to me. I think everyone secretly hates talking to large groups, as all attention is on you. I used to but eventually, like almost everything once you're exposed to it enough times you will be more at ease with it. You just need to focus on the end and that feeling you have when it is all over and you can say to yourself you got through it ok.