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Leo
11-20-2007, 06:12 AM
Hi all,
I'm new to this forum. I've been diagnosed with depression recently and realised that I have been suffering from it all my life. I used to think that I was a really shy person but am actually suffering from social anxiety disorder. I avoid parties and gatherings and clam up when there is a big group around me, especially with strangers for fear that I will stutter, which has happened a few times. This is slowly killing me and my family.

Most people do not know what I am actually going through. I can fake being jovial and friendly but that is very draining and sometimes it backfires and I get hyper instead. When I was younger, I resorted to alcohol to cope with social functions and now that I don't drink anymore, I avoid all social events if I can.

I've been to the therapist a few times and frankly I do not think he can help me. Everything he tells me is common sense and things I can find on the web. Why should I pay him to hear all that?

What I would like to know is if medication helps. My doctor has suggested Effexor which is an SSRI. I was really against drugs in the beginning but am now contemplating it as I really do want a normal life and not be so "uptight" and scared all the time and to be a normal wife and mother.

I worry about my kids all the time, afraid that my disorder will affect them and mess up their lives.

Hope to hear from someone. Thanks

RabidBadger
11-20-2007, 04:19 PM
Hi Leo

I take an SSRI anti depressant and I have got on quite well with it. A year ago I was agoraphobic to the point where I would hardly ever leave my bedroom and it was all centered around health anxiety. Now, although not fully recovered, I can go to the shops and to the pub a couple of nights a week.

Many people don't like anti depressants because of the side-effects, which can be pretty bad, but I found that they wore off after a couple of weeks.

I can't put all my improvement down to the drugs and it has taken a lot of unpleasant hours of pushing myself to do things I don't feel comfortable doing.

On the subject of therapists: yes, a lot of it is common sense but being able to put it all together into a formulated package that will help your recovery takes a bit more experience.

Best of luck

Chris

Leo
11-22-2007, 01:41 PM
Hi Chris,

Thank you for your post. I agree with you. Most of the time I have to push myself to be more active and do things which I am not comfortable doing. I am also trying to communicate more with my husband. I realised that it helps especially when he tries to understand how I feel.

What I hate the most are the mood swings. Sometimes it is so severe and I get so down that I want to go on anti depressants. When I'm feeling "normal" again, I don't think about it at all. Did that happen to you?

I'm thinking hard about going on anti depressants. I am trying to avoid it and that would be my last resort.

I wish you all the best as well.

RabidBadger
11-22-2007, 05:39 PM
Hi Leo

I know this might sound a bit weird but I don't feel like I have moods anymore, just varying degrees of worry.

As far as your husband is concerned, it is very hard for non-sufferers to comprehend how devastating this can be. I have experienced things that I would never have thought possible before the anxiety set in. Maybe you could get him to spend half an hour reading some of the posts on this site - it might make him see how much of an issue it really is.

Chris x

Leo
11-25-2007, 02:38 AM
Hi Chris,

Yes you are right, it is hard for him to understand how I feel and what I'm going thru. I don't blame him as I find it difficult to understand myself. :?

I would like to know if you feel happiness. I realised that I can feel anger and sadness. I really cannot feel happy. Is there something wrong with me?

RabidBadger
11-25-2007, 05:08 AM
Hi Leo

I know what you mean because it's been a long long time since I felt like I was truly happy. I think we become so obsessed with anxiety that it comes to affect how we feel all the time.

Chris x