MarkR
11-19-2007, 03:44 AM
Hi,
I am quite new to this board and so i will provide an overview to my past-experiences with social phobia and how it is impacting on my life.
Firstly, when i was about age 14 and attending secondary school i became increasingly physically ill and this impacted on my mental wellbeing. When it got to the point where i couldn't even stand up and walk due to feeling very dizzy and lop-sided, me and my dad felt that it would be a good time to visit the doctor. The doctor, in shock found out that Diabetes type 1 (insulin dependent) was causing me to feel this way and i was admitted to hospital immediately as i had already lost 2-3 stone and was under weight for my age, and i don't think anyone was sure as to how long i had before i went into a diabetic induced coma.
For a number of months i stayed at home and received lots of help and support from various nurses who helped me inject myself with insulin. This is a hormone which reduces the toxic level of sugar that had over spilt into my blood stream and wasn't being neutralised. Being at home also enabled me to put on weight, keep in touch with friends (via the sad usage of a phone and various messengers) and try to regain some normality to my life.
After, a while i returned to my secondary school, but all wasn't the same has it was prior to leaving due to illness. I was very gittery and couldn't stand looking at people; i seemed to think that everybody had preconceived ideas about me. Things like assemblies and waiting in corridors with people made me sweat excessively. Enduring assemblies (which simply consists of listening to school representitives etc.) was not bareable, everytime i looked around at somebody i saw morphed faces which were grinning and laughing at me. One scary factor was when i walked home from school to my home, everytime a car went by i saw the driver leaning forward, pointing and laughing at me. This was very distressing for me, and knowing it was all mind trickery just made the situation more unconceivable. I did come up with some coping mechanisms under certain circumstances:
For example, if my head suddenly jerked due to the muscles in my neck tensing and caused me to look in a different direction, i'd simply act casual and pretend that i was looking at the bird's outside. In reality i was having a panic attack and felt as though i was possessed.
And, also, for example, if i was walking through the corridor and a intimidating group was walking towards me i'd look at my feet whilst walking or avoid them some other way; sometimes by turning around!
I must point out that, although things were not this bad prior to leaving my school, i was bullied and attacked and was only afraid of what was happening in real time. I did not have the kind of fears of school/people which i experienced after my time off with the illness.
Over the months, i finally spoke to my mum about the situation and we decided to discuss my problems with a general practitioner. The GP refered me to a child anxiety clinic where over time the psychiatrist diagnosed me with stress induced diabetes, Social Anxiety disorder and Aspergers syndrome.
I am now age 18 and despite going to child clinics and clinics for people in adulthood i still have my social phoebia with me in college and outdoors. A private theraphist has thankfully helped me get used to short outings and boarding buses, but my anxiety is at it's highest in college simply because it's resembles the enviroment of my secondary school. I am struggling with coping with the crowds and do feel my education is once again being threatened.
Thank you for reading this brief story, can anyone relate to my story or would anyone like to comment?
Mark.
I am quite new to this board and so i will provide an overview to my past-experiences with social phobia and how it is impacting on my life.
Firstly, when i was about age 14 and attending secondary school i became increasingly physically ill and this impacted on my mental wellbeing. When it got to the point where i couldn't even stand up and walk due to feeling very dizzy and lop-sided, me and my dad felt that it would be a good time to visit the doctor. The doctor, in shock found out that Diabetes type 1 (insulin dependent) was causing me to feel this way and i was admitted to hospital immediately as i had already lost 2-3 stone and was under weight for my age, and i don't think anyone was sure as to how long i had before i went into a diabetic induced coma.
For a number of months i stayed at home and received lots of help and support from various nurses who helped me inject myself with insulin. This is a hormone which reduces the toxic level of sugar that had over spilt into my blood stream and wasn't being neutralised. Being at home also enabled me to put on weight, keep in touch with friends (via the sad usage of a phone and various messengers) and try to regain some normality to my life.
After, a while i returned to my secondary school, but all wasn't the same has it was prior to leaving due to illness. I was very gittery and couldn't stand looking at people; i seemed to think that everybody had preconceived ideas about me. Things like assemblies and waiting in corridors with people made me sweat excessively. Enduring assemblies (which simply consists of listening to school representitives etc.) was not bareable, everytime i looked around at somebody i saw morphed faces which were grinning and laughing at me. One scary factor was when i walked home from school to my home, everytime a car went by i saw the driver leaning forward, pointing and laughing at me. This was very distressing for me, and knowing it was all mind trickery just made the situation more unconceivable. I did come up with some coping mechanisms under certain circumstances:
For example, if my head suddenly jerked due to the muscles in my neck tensing and caused me to look in a different direction, i'd simply act casual and pretend that i was looking at the bird's outside. In reality i was having a panic attack and felt as though i was possessed.
And, also, for example, if i was walking through the corridor and a intimidating group was walking towards me i'd look at my feet whilst walking or avoid them some other way; sometimes by turning around!
I must point out that, although things were not this bad prior to leaving my school, i was bullied and attacked and was only afraid of what was happening in real time. I did not have the kind of fears of school/people which i experienced after my time off with the illness.
Over the months, i finally spoke to my mum about the situation and we decided to discuss my problems with a general practitioner. The GP refered me to a child anxiety clinic where over time the psychiatrist diagnosed me with stress induced diabetes, Social Anxiety disorder and Aspergers syndrome.
I am now age 18 and despite going to child clinics and clinics for people in adulthood i still have my social phoebia with me in college and outdoors. A private theraphist has thankfully helped me get used to short outings and boarding buses, but my anxiety is at it's highest in college simply because it's resembles the enviroment of my secondary school. I am struggling with coping with the crowds and do feel my education is once again being threatened.
Thank you for reading this brief story, can anyone relate to my story or would anyone like to comment?
Mark.